Long time no speak. We made peace a while back with not having a child though pregnancy and have seemed very happy and looking forward to the future. I’ve been exhausted this last week and today when I sat at my computer I thought, I’ll take a test for reassurance as my period is due any day now but my nips were killing me. Well I’ve done an hcg strip and a faint line appeared, I nearly fell over. I waited for my next wee and did a FRER and that has the tiniest line. I have no idea what to think! Is it another chemical which I’ve had a few of or are we actually pregnant?! Right when we’ve made peace with everything this happens! I know miracles and all that but I don’t want to get any hopes up, honestly we’re in disbelief and it’s still sinking in. Even pregnancy now scares the life out of me after everything. I said to my husband how can this be happening? Even with DOR, we hardly have sexy time. Blah blah blah.I know so many would give anything for this but it’s so hard to get your head around. I’ll test again tomorrow but needed to get this off my chest, I’m sorry if anyone finds this insensitive
x
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JudithSS
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We have a little girl through IVF and we did more collections and transfers trying for a sibling. After a miscarriage, chemical and a couple of BFNs we decided to call it a day in late 2021 and I was at peace with that and it was a relief to be off the fertility rollercoaster to be honest.Then last year, at the age of 42, I fell pregnant naturally twice. We pretty quickly found out the first time that it wasn't going to be viable through blood tests showing slow HcG. I was really upset, not just about having another miscarriage but to be suddenly thrust back into the same head space I was in through most of my 30s, wondering every month if this was 'it', reading in to every possible symptom and delay. It didn't help that, after this miscarriage, I started getting sore boobs before my period every month - something that had disappeared after pregnancy and breastfeeding my little girl.
Then I fell pregnant again towards the end of last year. It wasn't such a shock that time and we even got our hopes up after seeing a heartbeat at 6+5, but a scan two weeks later sadly showed it had stopped developing and I was having my third miscarriage in under 18 months.
I truly hope you have better luck than we did and this miracle baby goes the distance for you. Here, the pregnancies have messed with my mental health and I feel like I'm going a bit crazy towards the end of every cycle. I feel really pissed off that I've been robbed of my peace of mind again after we thought we'd come to the end of this chapter of our lives.
I can understand you have mixed feelings and are a bit terrified, as well as being in shock. Hoping for a happy, healthy pregnancy for you xxx
thank you so much for your response and I’m sorry for everything that you’ve been though and are going through. You really hit the nail on the head with being thrown back into it all. It’s not something you prepare for when you’re “done”. This is one of the main reasons why we stoped ivf and trying, I didn’t want to do it anymore as it took so much of my mental strength, the constant worry, symptom checking etc. xx
I'm sorry it was such a negative response - can you tell I'm on CD 22 with sore boobs?!?Anyway, should have added that I've seen quite a few people on here go on to have successful natural pregnancies after IVF so there are plenty of positive examples and I hope you are another of them xxx
not negative at all darling, it’s been a tough and unfair time for you! Another squinter today, I’m trying to work out the dates but it’s soooo early! X
it definitely can happen- I got pregnant naturally in May after being told my chances were 1% with either IVF or natural conception. I couldn’t trust a test so I had my HCG done by the IVF clinic and then retested 7 days later ( GP wouldn’t do this) and all looked good, so that would be my advice xxx I really hope this works out for you xx
Hey lovely, i’m currently 23 weeks pregnant with our miracle! I know so well how you’re currently feeling. Tests are the beast in all of this, not daring to dream but then having a little moment where you think ‘could it be’. My advice to you which isnt easy is to not stress yourself out testing constantly. It’s almost as hard not to test but I tried to get into the mindset of ‘what will be will be’ and that there was nothing I could do to make the baby stick around if it wasn’t meant to me. I just had to trust and hope my body would pull through this time! I don’t know your story but not only is the infertility journey difficult beyond belief, pregnancy after loss and infertility is also extremely difficult (well it is for me anyway). I wish we could be so naive to it all but that’s not the case is it! Just be kind to yourself and remain positive until you have reason to believe to otherwise as it doesn’t make the pain any easier not being positive! Take care lovely xxx
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