**TW** TFMR Trisomy 18 help needed

[Molliemoo85]

Hi,Not the update I wanted to post. A very detailed anatomy scan today showed positive signs for Trisomy 18. The consultant said he was sorry and gave me my options. I've chosed to terminate the pregnancy for medical reasons as this abnormality isn't compatible with life. I'm absolutely heartbroken. I've had CVS done today which I found to be so painful that I screamed. Because I'm over 12 weeks, legislation in Ireland doesn't allow me a surgical termination, instead they have to induce labour and I have to deliver at approx 14 weeks. I know its a very sensitive subject but I'm asking for help in what to expect from the labour and delivery if anyone can help me. Thanks x

[Skittles11]

I'm so so sorry my lovely I totally feel this with every grain of me

If you want to talk give me a shout on private message. I am here for you.

What you're going through will feel like you are living in a nightmare which you cannot escape from. I have lived it and you feel so powerless and like your heart has been ripped from you.

Please surround yourself with dear loved ones and don't be alone.

Xx

[Molliemoo85 in reply to Skittles11]

Thanks, I'm completely terrified x

[minnesota_girl]

I am so sorry. There's a woman who I liked to follow on Instagram who speaks quite a bit on TFMR and I believe had a very similar situation to yours timing wise. @recurrent_loss_psychologist - it may be worth popping her a DM. 💕💕💕💕💕

[Molliemoo85 in reply to minnesota_girl]

Thank you so much I've just followed her. Thanks xx

[Millbanks]

I just wanted to send you some love. I can’t imagine how awful this must be. 💔

Xxx

[Citizenerased83]

I'm so incredibly sorry Molliemoo85. Be gentle on yourself. Xx

[puppylove73]

Sending you a big tight virtual hug. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but my heart breaks while reading your post. I hope you get a lot of support from family and friends. Xxx

[Eternalwarrior]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Reading this brought tears to my eyes. It is heartbreaking and devastating and I am sending you all my love xxxx I lost my son James at 18 weeks for other reasons but I had to be induced too, so if you need anything, anything at all and if there is anything I can help you with, I want you to know that I am here. Please PM anytime. All my love and please surround yourself by your loved ones and look after yourself. Take a day at a time xxxx Lots of love and strength at this very difficult time xxxx

[Axel131]

Hi Molliemoo, I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through this, please look up our website lmcsupport.ie if you want some support or a chat. It's a charity organization made up of women who have all had a poor fetal diagnosis so know exactly what you're going through. If you fancy a chat or some email support, just pop us an email and we'll get back to you. Just know you're not alone making this heartbreaking decision.

[Asha82]

I'm so so sorry to hear that, my heart breaks for you and I couldn't imagine how much pain your going through, I hope you get all the support and strength that you need, I hope that your guardian angel will watch over you and help you get through this nightmare, I'm always here for you if you want it can be here or private chat, I'm sending you lots of love and hugs💔xx

[Kichwaa]

Im so sorry to hear about this,super painful.I lost twins at 25 weeks and was induced.Please pm me if you want to talk and ask me any thing.Sending you hug.

[TeddyBear5]

I’m so sorry lovely, it’s the worst thing ever.

I TMFR’d in 2021 for Trisomy 13 at nearly 18 weeks. Whilst I can’t gloss over how heartbreaking it is, I can say how pleased I was that I went through labour and met our son Ollie. I took photos, had a memory box for him and had him in a cold cot with me for a while. It helped me process his loss.

The labour was fine. I had to take 2 tablets about 24 hours apart from memory to kick it off. Taking the first tablet was awful because I felt so guilty. It was Misopristrol or something like that. After the second tablet labour started fairly quickly, bad period pain then he was out. He was 18 cms.

I had a D&C after to make sure all my placenta was out as I bled a lot. It was a relief to be put under tbh. The hospital staff were amazing.

It’s horrible but for me personally the birth helped me and I had a sense of achievement in helping him move on. We had him cremated so we could take him home.

You will get through it and come out the other side. You will never forget but it gets easier each year xxxxx