Success after 9 transfers ??

[Rosebud212]

I am wondering when do you know, enough is enough??

After 3 years and 3 rounds of IVF / ICSI and about to embark my 9th transfer I have lost all faith that any clinic / doctor / husband !! can make me pregnant .

I will still have 1 more PGT tested embryo left but if this transfer fails I don’t see any point and honestly don’t have the will in me to continue this process even with the last embryo. Over my last 8 transfers I’ve had 2 early miscarriages (both at week 5 -6 ) and the other 6 a mix of chemicals and no implantation, I’ve lost count at this point. Unexplained infertility has broken me . We thought we had it all figured out in the middle of last year when they discovered I have Factor V Leiden but no amount of asprin or Clexane can make an embryo stick and if anything since then and the hysteroscopy 11 mths ago, my uterine lining is now banjaxed and I struggle to even get to the transfer stage without a cycle being cancelled.

I actually remember on my last collection 1.5 years ago when we had 5 PGT normal embryos that I was thinking of donating any left over embryos or thought maybe we could have 2 children but to think that probably after 9 transfers I will be left a broken, childless woman and with a massive dent in our bank with nothing to show for it. I am not dissing IVF as it does work. But not for everyone.

I am looking forward to getting my life back and hope I don’t love to regret getting on this rollercoaster as I know my marriage and even myself will never be the same again.

Love to all you IVF warriors , I wish you better success than I have had.

[Kitkat10]

oh I’m so sorry you’ve been through this. It can still happen but I do understand the toll this takes. I found it hard enough to endure 4 transfers, you are a very strong person and I have everything crossed that this is your time 🍀

[Rosebud212 in reply to Kitkat10]

Thank you Kitkat10. I know I shouldn’t be going into this transfer so negatively but it’s difficult at this stage, I feel like in the last year I have been going backwards as I’m now finding it hard to even get to transfer stage and once I do get to transfer I don’t even have any implantation. I thought it would only get better once I had a miscarriage and that the protocols were figured out but I am feeling like my body is starting to fail me.

How are you doing ? I see that you have one embryo left ? Wishing you the best on your next transfer ♥️

[Kitkat10 in reply to Rosebud212]

it’s totally understandable, I felt the same after I had only 3 eggs collected on my third cycle after 9 on my second. And then only one fertilised but it worked! And that taught me that you really do just have to wait for that egg to come up but I found it an extremely challenging process and I felt very negative just before I got some luck at last. Thank you for your wishes, I am preparing for my last FET and I know how lucky I am to be trying for a sibling so I hope so much for you that this is your time 🍀🍀

[Ranchu90]

You are a brave 💪 woman!!!! Please take this as is definitely coming from my bottom of my heart ❤️ ...you deserve better than anybody else to have a final positive outcome as you endured so much!! Only a determined woman can do that! Please pick yourself up and start to think positive, we can do great things with our minds so you have to be in a better shape mentally for your last transfer. I am really hoping you are on completely new protocol now for this transfer. I am just wondering if you changed your clinic while you had all 8 transfers done? Sorry just a curiosity, not judging.. did you ever discussed about Granulocyte protocol with your doctor? This is used only in critical and unusual situations (just like yours).

Take care 💕

[Rosebud212 in reply to Ranchu90]

Hi Ranchu90, you are not being judgey at all and thank you for your kind kind words and you are right I need to try find some positivity or else I’m probably wasting mt time…mind over matter and all that. So yes , my first 2 rounds of IVF and then ICSI were with one clinic where we had 4 day 5 embryos. Of those transfers, 3 failed /chemical and 1 miscarriage.

I then moved for my last round of ICSI to Prague when we got 6 day 5 embryos that were all PGT normal. Transferred 4 of them so far , again 3 failed / chemical and 1 miscarriage. The embryologists in Prague are amazing and I couldn’t believe our luck with getting 6 PGT embryos (started from 11 mature eggs and then 8 fertilising) my odds were amazing. And to be honest I kind of knew that the embryos weren’t the issue but me.

I have not heard of that Granulocyte protocol. As I said I will have one embryo left if this transfer fails . I plan not to transfer but maybe I just need a few months off and could consider a protocol like this , I will definitely look into it so thanks for your suggestion 🙏🏻

I see you had a long journey to get to where you are and so happy that your journey has had a positive end, even after IVF you are so good to help those struggling and still on the rollercoaster ♥️

[Ranchu90 in reply to Rosebud212]

Oh I cannot believe how unlucky you been with all those transfers. I would have considered transferring 2 normal embryos in case your body attacks them. If your body does this, then more likely will attack one and the other will survive. I had also quite a lot of tests done ... pretty much the same as you and more... Not sure if you had genetic tests done for both - you and your husband like HLA-C or DQ alpha match (in case you are sharing the same genes or partial match). Usually with such a great embryos your chances are close to 90% succes, maybe is something genetically related. You are receptive my lov as you had chemicals and miscarriages (so sorry for that)...so the problem is not in you ...stop blaming yourself please, please. You been 3 years in this journey and you already have 8 transfers+ stimulation cycles, that is a lot! You should have given more time for your body to heal, especially after miscarriage. I know someone had hysteroscopy done after 2 months from miscarriage and they found residues from pregnancy. Look at your options, discuss everything that you possibly can with your doctor don't rush into your last transfer, your last chance...these embryos are just so precious 💕 I am sure you will find the right protocol for you...you must find it as you deserve a happy ending 🥰. Stay strong, a big hug from me 🤗♥️

[Holiday2023]

So sorry to hear what you have gone through. Have you considered going to another clinic and having more tests. I’m sure you have. It sounds like a long exhausting journey for you, I hope there is a positive outcome to come. Wish you all the best ☘️

[Rosebud212 in reply to Holiday2023]

Thank you Holiday2023 ! Yes onto a new clinic in Prague, had numerous tests , blot clotting, NK cells and antibodies , ERA . Tried steroids , intralipids, aspirin, PRP, we just can’t find what’s the right combination. I’m fed up of the testing at this point 🙃

[Kismet_x]

Sorry to hear your journey but I agree at some point you have to call it a day before it consumes both you and your husband emotionaly and financially.

Sad fact is sometimes it doesn't work.

You have to jointly both agree what your next step is and when that point is to stop.

Don't forget to enjoy life with your husband in the meantime aswell x

[Rosebud212 in reply to Kismet_x]

100% agree ! I think what got me was on my very first appointment with the clinic my then consultant was like IVF has a 50% chance of working ! I was like brilliant , I will only need a few embryos and will definitely have 2 kids, how blindsided I was.

I feel like what I struggle with most is that I currently have the life of a woman who is pregnant as I can’t drink too much, I don’t go to many social events due to having to travel or be on meds during that time and I can’t holiday as much due to the financial strain. But this is not the case. I’m already a hermit and that is just during the trying to get pregnant phase ! And to think we will have spent tens of thousands of euros to get nothing in return !

I am looking forward to getting my life back, I don’t know how couples continue on this journey for years . They must have a determination like no other but for me I am beaten .

Thank you for your kind words ♥️

[Dinah_lady]

Hi Rosebud212. Your post struck with me… but you persevered more than I did. I had one NHS cycle and one private cycle. They were 2 different protocols with different clinics. Very few eggs produced and nothing to transfer on either. I felt beaten. IVF had consumed my mind and my life. My consultant said he would do another cycle/collection but he wouldn’t expect any chance to success and neither should I. Donor just didn’t feel right for me.

That’s when my husband and I decided it was time to draw a line. Since then, we’ve done some things that just wouldn’t be possible with a child, including some adventurous holidays. I still sometimes have a sense of sadness but feel grateful for good health and what we do have.

Wishing you all the best x x

[Rosebud212 in reply to Dinah_lady]

Thank you Dinah, it’s comforting to hear that other couples have come out the other side where the ivf journey hasnt resulted with a baby. I hope we will be okay and be as positive as you have been.

We unfortunately don’t have access to publicly funded cycles and have invested tens and tens of thousands in all these collections, transfers and tests. We are lucky that we could afford it but it’s annoying after spending all this money to not have a baby at the end of it all. It’s just luck of the draw for some.

I will have to take a leaf out of your book and plan an adventurous holiday as soon as we call it a day!