Egg donor

[Noahsmummy2018]

Hi all,

Was just after some advice really.

I'm just at the start of my 7th round of ivf and my doctor has mentioned to keep the option of egg donation in mind. I really don't know how I feel about the idea.

Some background: I already have a 4 year old boy via ivf.

1st and 2nd cycle resulted in BFN. Third cycle resulted in my little boy.

4th cycle last August resulted in a chemical pregnancy and was our last remaining frozen embryo.

5th cycle and 6th cycle resulted in BFN.

I have pcos and a very high amh level. First cycle produced 22 eggs, second cycle produced 17 eggs.

5th cycle only produced 3 eggs which my clinic were really confused about and put it down to insufficient dosage of meds.

6th cycle produced 25 eggs. 17 matured, 8 made it to day 3, but by the time I had my embryo transfer I was left with only two eggs and unsure of the quality so had both transferred. Resulted in nothing.

Just started my 7th round two days ago and am on ovaleap 150 and menopur 75.

My doctor has said that if I have the same issue again - producing alot of eggs but not good quality, then it may be time to look down the egg donation route.

My little boy was a bad quality embryo also.

My doctor does feel optimistic still that I could get pregnant with my own eggs - I'm 37 and have had one previous birth and 2 pregnancies and still produce alot of eggs.

But I can't stop thinking about the egg donor route, I know I should just take it one step at a time and see what happens with this cycle first but I feel like because I've already had a child with my own eggs, would I feel the same about a child that's genetically not mine? Would I bond with it, love it as much as my son? Also, explaining it to my little boy and then the baby when it was old enough to understand, how they would feel about it?

I feel really confused about it all, I'm just not sure that I'm able to even consider it as an option.

It's an amazing thing, and I think I'd feel differently about it if I didn't already have my little boy, but I don't feel ready to give up on my own eggs just yet.

[Mtorr]

Hi Blessings, we had to use donor eggs as I wasn’t producing anymore this is my second marriage I have 4 grown ladies from my first marriage and honestly I love my twins as they were biologically mine 🥰 husband and I are thrilled and my daughters are so in love with them it’s so amazing wishing you the best

[SRA8]

I have a boy from a natural pregnancy after two failed IVF cycles. I had some bonding issues with him. He didn't feel like mine for a long time. I love him to the moon and back and more now. If my next cycle to have a sibling fails, I will be looking to go down the donor route. I now I can develop love from my previous experience. If the time comes read up on epigenetics. Some of your genes are also passed on to the baby.

[MichGall]

Hi  Noahsmummy2018 You sound like you are going through a lot and have lots to think about, sending strength to you.

I had my first child naturally at 39, then tried for a sibling and found out that my fertility has fallen off a cliff. I was not viable for IVF using my own eggs (as there were very few left), so after a lot of research, I went down the donor route and I’ve never looked back. I now have a beautiful baby girl.

I can confirm 100% there is no difference in my love for either of my children at all. I did worry about this during pregnancy, but it was unfounded, they are loved and treated exactly the same by us and our entire family.

I’ve already had the conversation with my son about how lucky we are that the donor gave us her eggs as mummy’s were broken. He’s 5 and has known this fact since I was pregnant. We celebrate it and I’ve even started ready books to my little girl (she’s 1) about being donor conceived.

I hope you have success using your own eggs, but take comfort in the fact that if you choose to go down the donor route, it’s wonderful!

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Noahsmummy I feel if it was my decision, I would try again with my own eggs and ICSI. Maybe have a DNA fragmentation test on sperm and perhaps a hysteroscopy and biopsy to check out the womb. It is a hard decision to swap to donor eggs when you have your own genetic child. Perhaps a session of implications counselling might help. Good luck with whatever you decide, and of course for success. Diane

[Maui2020]

Hi there, I too have a ivf baby from 2018! We had 8 failed transfers and did 3 ivf cycles for a sibling. Thankfully the 9th transfer worked. This was from a cycle with my own eggs at 41 years old. I also have High AMH and produced 27 eggs on one cycle. This was the one that didn’t give me any good quality embryos to transfer.

Although it seems counterintuitive, my best quality embryos (and ultimately the one that I became pregnant from) came from cycles where we aimed for minimal eggs- around 10-15, although I have the potential for more.

I had changed clinics inbetween as one of them did not believe in this approach and were adamant that quantity was the aim, and my age was the reason for poor quality. I would have accepted this had I not got other medical opinions and tried a different approach. It’s worth looking into another protocol. Good luck xx