Donor egg & menopause advice

We were incredibly lucky to conceive naturally last year just before starting ivf - my AMH 4-5 months before conceiving had been measured at 1 pmol/l, so extremely low. We also have MFI.

We’ve now been trying for 6 months with no success - I think I’m still ovulating, but who knows! Anyway, I have the assumption that I’m on the edge of menopause. I would love a sibling for our little boy, and really I think our only chance of success would be with donor egg ivf. It just wouldn’t be worth the expense with such a low chance of success with my own eggs, and I’d already been warned of this when we were going for ivf before.

My partner is happy with the one child we have (and doesn’t like the thought of donor eggs), but being one of 4 and a twin myself, I’m struggling to accept that I couldn’t give him a sibling.

My questions for DE ladies are:

- can you carry donor egg embryos once you hit menopause? (Sorry for any naivety)

- how quick is the donor egg process once you find an egg donor (UK or abroad)?

- what are the typical chances of success with donor eggs?

I really just want to gather information at this stage, and obviously if it gives us time to enjoy our little boy now without thinking about conceiving again, then great, and I can hopefully persuade my partner to try DE ivf in the future. X

[LuxFleur]

Hello lovely, if I recall from your previous posts, aren't you quite young? Like late 20s or early 30s? Maybe I'm mistaken. But generally, you should not have a problem with DE due to your age in your 30s or 40s. Have you tried using home ovulation sticks? They work just like pregnancy tests but they can tell you if you're likely ovulating or not. Are you getting regular periods? Hang in there xo

[Hidden in reply to LuxFleur]

hey - yep, I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago. I’ve always used the Clearblue ovulation sticks, but I suppose I don’t think I’d ever be lucky to catch again, especially as my partner has sperm issues too. My periods vary from 24-28 day cycles as well, so not that regular either 👎 and it makes me panic about menopause every month.

I just didn’t know how it worked if, for example, I was in perimenopause, whether you can still implant an embryo. I’m just working in my head on the fact that I would have required a bleed and a certain thickness of lining for transfer before, so can you only implant if you are capable of still having cycles?

Thank you x

[LuxFleur in reply to Hidden]

Has a doctor told you that you are in permimenopause? Women in their 50s are able to carry DE, so I highly doubt you would be ruled out, but you'll need to ask a doctor. Aside from all this, unless a doctor has told you that you are perimenopausal, there is no reason to think that you are from what you've shared. Just because your period doesn't always come on the same day doesn't mean you're not still getting it. xo

[Hidden in reply to LuxFleur]

no they haven’t, but when I was getting tests in 2021, before the results were even back, the clinic said I could still be having periods and ovulating etc, but could be perimenopausal. At the moment, I don’t want to go through tests etc again as I don’t think mentally I could take it if results were bad, but I just want to get an idea of what my options could be for the future x

[LuxFleur in reply to Hidden]

I really can't imagine that a 30 year old woman, even with really bad premature ovarian aging and in perimenopause, wouldn't be a candidate for DE. But you will of course not be able to find out from strangers, you can only find out by consulting your doctor.

[Jade2006 in reply to Hidden]

Go to your doctors to check your hormones , they can tell whether you are pre menopausal xx

[Hidden in reply to Jade2006]

I don’t want to atm as I know it’ll set me off if it’s bad news, I just want to get an idea of what my options could be in the future, and whether I need to stop banging on to my partner about time 🙈 x

[Jade2006 in reply to Hidden]

oh bless you , it’s hard isn’t it these journey.

Your not alone ❤️Xx

[LuxFleur in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately you won't be able to get an idea of what your options are without having your doctor check your hormones. However at age 30, I imagine you will have hope with your own eggs, not to mention DE if it comes down to it. Nobody here will be able to tell you more than that! xo

[Hidden in reply to LuxFleur]

honestly, the clinic were SO negative before about my eggs and mentioned on more than one occasion about how I’d have to consider donor eggs. It’s really just about future proofing, and I don’t know if I could go through ivf with my own eggs and deal with such a high chance of nothing happening. I’d have loved children around 3 years apart, so if DE could be a possibility in the future even if I was in menopause, then it’s something we could consider over the next couple of years xx

[Hidden in reply to LuxFleur]

I’ve just read your history and latest posts 🥹! Amazing & congratulations! Hopefully this is your time ❤️

[daisydooloe19]

I am replying to your post and I hope I'm not going to give you negative advice . I am 50 and have had 5 transfers with donor egg and sperms and I am currently going through the menopause. I am attempting to try again I have all my transfers with a clinic called embyroland in Athens Greece and it was 7,000.00 each time. The doctor is warm and wil ring you whenever you want Dr Nicos. whenever I have wanted to go over their has been no wait for embryos...hope that helps...I am just disheartened at the moment as I am wondering if I am wasting my time at my age...I would love to speak with women my age who have had success..

Best of luck

[Hidden in reply to daisydooloe19]

thank you. I really hope you get successful and that you can also get some feedback from ladies who have or are in a similar position to you xx

[Eswyn]

I wouldn’t rule out your own egg just yet, although you have a low AMH, you’re young which means your eggs are more likely to be good quality. You may get a lower number overall but you only need one. I also wouldn’t assume you’re perimenopausal without any symptoms or being diagnosed. You can have a low AMH for years before you hit menopause. To get a full picture, you’d need to test AMH, FSH & estrogen/estradiol.

In terms of DE you can carry a pregnancy even if you’re in perimenopuse. Timings will depend on if you use eggs from a frozen egg bank vs opting for a fresh DE cycle. Fresh cycles have higher success rates than frozen eggs.

In the UK, donors are not anonymous, which limits the numbers of donors and leads to longer waiting lists (could be 6 months to a year). Things can be quicker abroad because it’s all anonymous.

Good luck!

[Hidden in reply to Eswyn]

thank you! We’re still trying naturally (in the hope there’s a few eggs rattling around in there lol), but my query was really just for future proofing the potential to have more children if I do go into full blown menopause xx

[Cinderella5]

You can absolutley carry well after the menopause. They give you meds to prepare your lining etc. We did treatment abroad and once you get a donor it moves very quickly, it took us only a couple of weeks to get a match. Success rates are fairly high. Each clinic will let you know their success rates so all in all you have a good shot.xx

[Hidden in reply to Cinderella5]

thank you - this is the response I was hoping for 😊 xx

[May37]

Hi I used donor egg abroad, happy to share info

[Winniebear1]

hi, I have hit menopause and have used DE in the UK. The whole process from chosen the DE to implantation was about a month but this does vary from person to person and clinic to clinic.

We have used 2 different DE, first implantation failed, second DE , we had one fresh embryo transfer and one embryo frozen.

I am currently 6w+1 day pregnant and have everything crossed it will continue going well,

I hope this helps but happy to answer any other questions.

[Hidden in reply to Winniebear1]

thank you - that is super helpful! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a healthy and successful pregnancy for you ☺️ xx

[Spicycurry]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m 42 TTC second also. I did one good cycle at 40 but due to not being given time to renew passport I was denied another cycle when egg quality and fsh were good. I tried when fsh was higher with oestrogen priming but put on different protocols and had to give up. I had a miscarriage with blastocysts produced from when I was 40 and I have more but these are my last. My husband is also happy with one. He has poor morphology and we had to go through a lot to improve his morphology which was better when I was 40 as I put him on lots of supplements from Rebecca Fett.

I cannot afford anymore IVF but just transfers. I had such high hopes but none of mine are PGS tested.

I know that you can definitely do a frozen transfer at menopause but it would be medicated only. If you wanted to try natural with stims, it would thicken lining. I was on 300iu meriofert every other day. If oestrogen is very low, you can also be given hrt 3 times a day.