Family illness stress and IVF

[Rainbowretrieval]

Hi guys. I’m currently awaiting my first frozen embryo transfer. Whilst I’m delighted we have 9 embryos from my first round, I have endometriosis and am 38 so everything is going against me physically. Mentally not in a good place given the fact that my mother is critically ill with stage 4 cancer and was recently hospitalised and we very nearly lost her. Delaying the ivf isn’t really an option because of my age and I’m hoping by some miracle my mum could still be around if a baby ever comes. My stress levels are through the roof and I know this won’t be conducive to a successful pregnancy attempt. Reaching out in case there is anyone else in a similar position out there… x

[Weareback2]

Hi jist wanted to wish you all the luck. Here is my story this year... fresh cycle in july, had time off my work, was on holuday doing lots of nice things etc and that round failed. My dad had cancer and was going through some heavy treatment. Frozen round in November...had transfer the day after my dad's funeral. Was literally on the bed, feet in stirrups, crying as i was asking my dad to help us in any way he can. This round worked and i am very early, but i am 9 weeks pregnant.The point to my story is sometimes ivf works and sometimes it doesn't and we honestly just need to tely on luck. Out of my two transfers you would think the july one would have worked if you were basing it on stress being a factor.

Will have everything crossed for you. If you want to message at anytime, feel free. Xx

[Rainbowretrieval in reply to Weareback2]

I am so so sorry to hear about your dad… I hope he’s looking down on you somehow ❤️ Sometimes it’s just meant to be. I hope you’re able to look after yourself with everything that’s been going on around you. Thank you for sharing your story xxx

[Kmcdon]

I would say go with what feels right for you. If it’s too much, then give yourself a break and take some time. Honestly you really aren’t old - I’m much older!

I think it sounds like you are in a good position with the frozen embryos so a few months or even a year will not have an impact. If you feel too stressed then be kind to yourself.

Equally if you want to go ahead, then do that. As the Weareback2 says IVF is a strange thing and even at your most stressed a positive can come. Thinking of you. Xx

[Rainbowretrieval in reply to Kmcdon]

thank you so much K… I do believe in fate so what will be, will be, I guess. I just wish that circumstances were different as in lots of ways I feel like I’ll lose either way, if pregnancy happens or not, as I have so much apprehension about my mum. It’s morbid, but it makes me feel less uneasy to hear about other people in similar circumstances as much as I wish nobody was suffering- as otherwise you’d think everyone is having the perfect pregnancies around you with healthy families and the wider world isn’t always like that…

[Kmcdon]

Totally understand. I honestly think be kind to yourself and try not to put pressure on yourself. Sometimes it’s good to think of the advice you would give a friend. It’s sometimes harder to be as kind to yourself! Good luck with whatever you decide. Xx

[Eloquentia]

I am really sorry to hear about what you are going through! In case this is of any help, I was quite stressed with work in the run up to my second FET and tried reflexology. It had a very strong positive effect on my mind and body. Good luck!

[Sparklylife]

I sadly have no real advice for you - but I wanted to say I am sorry about your mum! I cannot even imagine. Like others have said - be kind to yourself! 🧡

Maybe you could try 5-10min every morning - to sit down and practice some deep breathing. I found that very good when I was going through stress. And created myself some techniques I could use out and about too - don’t need long, 2 min or so. Just to stop, try feel how your body is feeling and go through every body part down to your feet/toes. Relax your jaw/your shoulders. And again, take deep breaths. Tell yourself you got this .. and carry on with your day. Might not work for everyone.

Also, my partner kept reminding me that people get pregnant in war zones too, or in less fortunate circumstances. I know that maybe is not the best way of looking at it, but I suppose what he meant is that anxiety and stress might not play as a big role as we think. Try look after yourself in other ways that your can control a bit more, try get sleep/rest when needed. Hydrate and try eat well if you can.

And you are right - sometimes it just helps knowing you are not alone.

I wanted to wish you all the best when you decide to start your FET 🧡

[flamingopher]

I’m so sorry about your mum. When I was about to start my 3rd round there was a promotion coming up at work that I knew would be stressful. I asked my fertility counsellor if I was crazy for even considering it while going through IVF, and she told me that in fact IVF is a major source of stress (as we all well know!) and there’s no evidence to show it has any impact. Got the job, spent most of this year hugely stressed and late off work, and my single day 3 embryo stuck and I’m due in about 5 weeks. So take away from that what you will!

All the best xx