IVF stress : Hi I just needed a bit of... - Fertility Network UK

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IVF stress

Jenadrian79
Jenadrian79

Hi I just needed a bit of support, first IVF cycle. been on the down reg injection 2 wks now and have felt very emotional/tearful nearly every day. About to start stims. Found out My fiancé is being transferred to work in Qatar for a years contract in six weeks time and I feel so vulnerable, lost and insecure. He will be earning 2.5 times his usual UK salary tax free & wants to secure a future for us. These opportunities done come along every day. He will be back every 4-5 weeks and visit. I can visit him for as long as I like as often as I like (unless I’m pregnant as I would be high risk pregnancy). My god the timing! And all the while I wake up with anxiety at the moment and think I need to be relaxed for the IVF to work.

Ladies, You will all appreciate how difficult IVF is even with your partner there physically with you. I have great supportive friends and parents but we all need our man when it comes to this. So if I’m pregnant he will leave soon after which fills me with loneliness and if it hasn’t worked I will then need to do the process completely alone. If I have good quality eggs then just the transfer / otherwise the whole IVF procedure again(!!) I’m 40 next year so I don’t feel I have the luxury to say I will wait until he’s back.

I feel really scared and vulnerable and alone. Any advice or thoughts are welcome, thank you! 🙏

12 Replies
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Wow. What timing as you say. I really hope it works and that you therefore get to join him as soon as possible with your new little family member. Please do what you can to focus and visualise a successful ivf this time. There is no point in thinking about what ifs and where fors when nobody can tell the future. Wishing you all the best. Xxx

Very true none of us know what the future holds. Thank you for your message of kindness and support xxx

I hope you find a way to relax xx

Funny how everything happens at once. At least they’re not all bad things! YOU CAN DO IT xxx

Again as others have said... timing! Timings not great but I think along this journey from my point of view I've held many many things off and now wish I would have done them anyway as in my own circumstances everything has taken so long, from losing weight, having 2 laps, starting treatment then having to freeze all and the list goes on.

It will inevitably be tough but I understand why your husband wants to take the opportunity for you and your future family.

I'm glad yo hear you have a good support network around you as that will be needed.

I think you'll have to cross each bridge as you get there and although emotional and tough days will be there, I believe you can do it.

Xx

Genten I will keep rereading your message thank you so much 🙏❤️

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time, ivf is such an emotional rollercoaster and has such an effect on our body especially emotionally! My husband works away 4 weeks away at a time, when I was going through my cycles I often felt really alone, especially going for my appointments,first time round he was here for egg collection and transfer and second time was a FET he was away for transfer and most of the 2ww. It's easy for people to say you have family and friends but I don't think anyone understands until they have been through it. I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling like that. This forum has been a massive support, I don't post regularly but come on everyday, it's a fantastic place.

Sending you best wishes 😘 Xx

Bless you can appreciate that of course you want your man by your side but if he sees this as a way to secure your future maybe you will be able to cope by making the most of any time you have together and make use of technology to keep in as close contact as possible as long as you both agree on a course of action sometimes the reality is actually not as bad as our fears sending you love and best wishes x

It’s not ideal timing at all but you can do this. My partner works away and my first ivf resulted in a bfn and the day after he had to go back to work for weeks😭. It’s never a good time when you have partners that work away. 💪💪xx

Jenadrian79
Jenadrian79 in reply to Noobs

Thank you for your positivity Noobs and it’s good to know I’m not the only one. Pls excuse my ignorance but this is my first IVF and I’m not familiar with the lingo. What does BFN mean? Sorry to have to ask! X

I really feel for you! I miss my Hubby if he’s away for a night. I find it horrible and time seems to stand still until he comes home. He went adaptive skiing when I was pregnant with our first bfp and I hated it but I put on a brave face. I’d actually had a missed miscarriage and had no idea. As a result I banned him from going this year because of treatment (we were doing a fet). I bet your fiancé doesn’t feel great about leaving you behind either, especially with everything you have going on but his head and heart sounds like it’s in the right place, he’s doing his best by his little family xx

Thank you for your kind words xx

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