I resigned from my horrible secondary school teaching job this summer and then found out our ICSI was starting (brought forward. I am currently unemployed. The nature of the appointments is very little notice.
I have just failed a cycle with 3 eggs collected and then
My feeling is I need to minimise stress as much as possible but I also need money.
Taking a permanent job and then having to request time off for appointments (especially while being new) would be difficult - especially as most schools require the letter as proof and want 2 weeks notice. You don’t necessarily want to share those personal appointment details on the letter either - plus my clinic don’t even give letters?!? .
I have registered with an agency for supply work but the type of work I have been offered is long term supply (this school need a perm teacher and will be relying on me every day) However I don’t like the thought of ringing the agency in the morning and being placed on the day.
Advice and thoughts welcome please!
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Cuppppatea
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Hi, I was teaching while going through treatment too. I spoke to my head teacher and she was very understanding. She agreed that I could go to her directly with appointment letters. This helped ease the stress for me.
I spoke to her and said it was a difficult process and wanted it to remain confidential. I asked if I could give letters directly to her and she agreed. If you don't ask, you don't get.
If I was at my old school I maybe would have felt ok to do that. I’m in between cycles and am likely to be starting the next in 6/7 weeks I’ve just started this supply gig today and they are desperate for me to stay. I worry about the impact of stress. My Aunty thinks I should just forget about trying to work completely at the moment and just focus on this. It’s so hard to know what to do
If you are in a position that you don't need to work, it is worth considering. Ultimately, you have to do whatever makes you feel most at ease in the process. For me, I had to feel like I had done everything possible (we ended up having to use donor eggs and I had treatment/was pregnant during lockdown COVID so was able to stay at home).
I'm a teacher too and always worried about taking time off at all. I spoke with my head and they were v understanding and said all appointments would be treated as an underlying medical condition, so I'd still get paid for them. (Little did she know at the time it would be so many appointments over 3 years!! But I did get them all off and actually they never asked for letters or proof!! I know I was v lucky and I'd worked at the school for a while. I'm actually going to tell the head today I am finally pregnant!!!
But for your situation I'd say you can't put your life on hold for ivf. Unfortunately we don't know how long it will take and if you delay a job you want you might regret it. I understand too it will be worrying for you starting a new job and needing appointments buy I would just explain first and tell them you feel bad etc but the nature is the appts can change last minute! Most places would be supportive and still happy to have you!
Otherwise I'd say if the egg collection is going to be v soon, maybe get that out the way first? It's only approx 6/7 weeks from start to test on many protocols. But if you do get pregnant you'll then have midwife appts and scans and need time off for those anyway!
Happy to discuss more if I can be of help!send me a message x massive good luck x
Yep so hard.Could you do online tutoring while cycling to give you more flexibility? I know even that sort of new pattern takes energy to set up, but there are agencies that want qualified teachers for online tutoring
It might give you just enough money over the next few months and a feeling of being able to concentrate on the cycle
also a teacher here. I spoke to my line manager and headteacher. They were very good about letting me have time off for appointments etc. I had to ask my clinic for letters for evidence.
Thanks so much for your replys. I’ve been offered a temp job through a teaching supply agency which I know they are eventually wanting me to go perm on. I’m trying it out for a few weeks. The good thing is it’s three days a week which really takes the stress off appointments as the likelyhood of them hitting a non working day is good and leaves time for yoga and acupuncture! Obviously it doesn’t pay as well but I feel like everything about it is going to be less stressful.
I am not a teacher but was thinking today to quit my job and started to look even on sandwich’s shops… anything that keeps me going without the management side of and office! I totally relate with your post! Good luck, I think you did an amazing brave decision
Have you done any treatment while working yet ? My last one I was off work, the medication would be manageable I think but it’s the idea that stress could have a negative impact I think. Also I think maybe sleep is good for you while on a cycle ?
Hi cuppppatea, I quit my job in July and am now setting up to freelance- I work in the charity sector. My job was too stressful and I felt exhausted all the time. The stress of going to appointments was also a lot as i was always worried about gettng time off when I needed it. It's definitely good to minimise your stress as much as possible and if this school is desperate for staff, hopefully it means they'll be flexible if you need to shift your days around.
For many years I worked at an education agency so I know how supply works and I can give some advice. Based on your message and my understanding you are currently working as a supply teacher at a school that want to take you on perm. You do not need to go perm with them just yet as you could work long term with them in a supply contract. This would mean they get the commitment from you that you will work solely with them for the term, or school year, (which ever) full time and you know you have a regular income coming in but as you will be on a agency supply contract you are free to take time off short notice when needed. You won’t get paid for those days you take off but you will have the flexibility to take off time for appts, treatments and so on without needing to get letters or even saying why. In an IVF situation this works really well as most of the time you can work is just when you’re undergoing treatment and tests do you need that time off. Also when you need the time off your agency should be able to replace you with any other teacher to cover.
I hope this helps at least to give you a better understanding of your options with supply. Please feel free to DM if you would like any other advice as can help with anything you might need to know about working with an agency including how to push you daily rate up
As for working vs not working during ivf…I was luckily enough to be able to afford to take 10 months off during my treatment which I did as I wanted to be as stress free as possible to give myself the best chance. However, it made no difference as they all failed. I also had so many set backs, cancellations and even ovulations during my treatment that I wish I didn’t take the time off as I used up all my savings leaving us struggling to pay for more rounds and I found myself getting more depressed being just at home with nothing to do but think about fertility. I have now returned to work and am really feeling the time I lost from my career and how it’s effecting my progression now. Also my bank balance is zero so I regret not going back earlier. That’s just my experience thou x
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