9dpt and a BFN

[hifer]

Had high hopes for this little low level mosaic but sadly it wasn’t to be. We were plagued a bit from the start. I felt so sick for embryo transfer (and was very sick when I got home) because all of the drugs made me unwell, then I had a very upset tummy for several days, then I got a very nasty cough and cold (which I still have!) I know some may consider 9dpt early still, but based on previous experiences I know I’m out plus I can feel my body preparing for my period. It just feels different now.

This may be our last transfer so I’m feeling pretty sad. We have one more low level mosaic (although considered not as good an option as they one we’ve just transferred) but I’m just not sure I can go through it all again. This time felt quite brutal. It’s taking a huge toll on my mental well being, not to mention being a financial and physical challenge. Do we just quit whilst we’re ahead (we’re lucky enough to have one little girl from IVF) or bite the bullet and have one more transfer so we know we’ve exhausted all our options? Either way, nothing for now. Rest and licking my wounds before bouncing back.

Thinking of everyone going through the 2ww right now. It’s torture. Hopefully we have lots of success stories.

xx

[KediT]

I’m so sorry for what you going through Hifer. This whole process is torture. Please take time for yourself and let your healing process begin. Once you are ready you will definitely bounce back.

Sending you love & light.

[hifer in reply to KediT]

Thank you my lovely x

[Twiglet2]

I’m so sorry lovely 😢 it seems to be even more upsetting when you’ve put yourself through so much meds somehow but at least you can say you have it everything! As you say in a few days time you might be a bit clearer on what’s next etc for you but for now sending you a massive hug, take care of yourself and be as selfish as you need to be to heal 💜 xx

[Millbanks]

So sorry to read this my lovely.

It’s so devastating 💔

You don’t need to make any decisions right now. Take some time and you’ll know how you feel deep down. It must be so hard once it’s worked once, as you just feel like why wouldn’t it work again. This scares me about trying again.

Sending lots of love your way xxx

[Hidden]

Oh Hifer I am so sorry to read this, I really hoped this round would be good news.

I think you are right, it's no time to make any decisions about your next embryo now. Take some time to look after yourself and recover from your horrible cold too.

I always think whatever you decide as long as you don't have any regrets its the right decision.

Thinking of you and sending you a HUGE hug xx

[hifer in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much. I’ll take the hug 🤗 xx

[Cinderella5]

Aww I'm sorry to hear this lovely. I'm sure once you have time to grieve things will become clearer. Lots of love and hugs.xxx

[hifer in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks lovely. Can’t believe we’re here yet again! 🙄xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to hifer]

It's just shit isn't it?! Enjoy your time with the family and have a wee treat to yourselves....you flipping deserve it!😘xxx

[hifer in reply to Cinderella5]

It’s my birthday tomorrow. So I think hubbie and I are going out for lunch. How are you and the twins doing? Xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to hifer]

Awww happy birthday for tomorrow!🎂🥂 That sounds like just the ticket.🥰We are OK thanks, the boys are coming on well and getting big but boy are they running me into the ground...they have non stop illnesses. Oh I crashed the car tonight which has just topped off a shit year!😖🙄 So other than losing all sanity, we are fine!🤣🙈xxx

[hifer in reply to Cinderella5]

Oh my goodness are you ok?!! Poor thing. I hear you re illnesses. We’ve had chicken pox, hand foot and mouth (which she gave to me and is rare in adults!), chest infections (which she now has antibiotics for and gave to me) and temperatures about every 2/3 days. I had quite a lot of all that whilst I was doing my last transfer. I was so worried it was affecting our transfer but we’ll never really know. They say coughs and colds etc don’t matter but my cough was so bad that I think it might have. Anyway not much I can do now. You’ll be so glad to see the end of this year I bet xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to hifer]

Yes I'm OK! I'm just so pissed off at myself, I thought I'd put the handbrake on the car which is a button and obviously I didn't press it properly....rolled back into the house....ffs!🤬Awww please don't think that the cough had an effect on transfer. Sounds like you have been through the mill with illnesses too! Is this normal?! I question whether our kids have poor immunity. I don't mean this to sound bad but I'm in a way relieved to hear its not just me. It just feels relentless, one is ill and gets better then the other gets it...so on and so on.....I thought I could swear before but now I'm pro....in private of course!!🤣🤣xxx

[hifer in reply to Cinderella5]

Oh no!!! Is the house ok? Main thing is that no one is hurt. Will DM you x

[Cinderella5 in reply to hifer]

Well it's a bit damaged but it's all fixable I guess so that's the main thing!!xxx

[Chel91]

So sorry to hear this 😥 It's really difficult. Totally understand the feeling of not being sure if you can do it all over again. It takes so much out of us doing this over and over. Sending you lots of love and hope for whatever you decide going forward 💗 xx

[hifer in reply to Chel91]

Thank you my lovely x

[Fairsy2021]

hi hifer, I’m sorry this one’s been so brutal to you. You truly don’t know how strong you are until you go through what you have, and have dug so deep only to be let down. I am hopeful that things change for you, as you’re only 9dpt but I get that hope seems almost cruel when you know your own body. See if you can fill your ‘cup back up’ with loving the family, doing some amazing things and defo having a blooming good cry. Then maybe in time, you may feel ready to go again, or comparatively, you may close the door but you’ll do so knowing you gave it all you had xx

[hifer in reply to Fairsy2021]

Thank you so much. Yes we just need to take a bit of time out to make some decisions. Thanks so much for your kind message xx

[Elmo13]

I’m so sorry to hear this Hifer. Sending love your way.

Straight after a failed cycle things always feel pretty hopeless, but feel whatever you feel right now, and just take the time to heal mentally. Things will be a lot clearer then.

Xx

[hifer]

Yes they will, you are right. Thank you 🙏 xx