Has anyone else experienced intense anxiety or panic attacks after a chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage? I lost my little embryo at 5 and a half weeks and I know it’s normal to grieve but I’m starting to worry how badly this is effecting me. The last two weeks since I miscarried, I have had intense anxiety whenever I think about it or see anything to do with pregnancy or friends baby posts on fb. It feels like I can’t breath and I have these intense panic episodes. Mother’s Day was excruciating. Thankfully, I was at a wedding in Poland this weekend so managed to stay occupied and stay offline for most of it. I’ve never had anything like this or suffered with anxiety before so it’s really scary. This was my first ever BFP after our first round of IVF. Has anyone else experienced anything like this and if so, what can I do ? We have 3 more frozen embryos to try and I’m now panicked about how I will cope with another loss or a BFN.
Thanks
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Sarascottxox
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I’m so sorry for your loss lovely. I can completely relate, we had an early loss in December.
I will say the first 6 weeks or so were absolutely brutal and I think it’s a real mix of processing a hugely traumatic event and hormones going wild. I was put on sertraline for anxiety and depression and they take a long time to kick in but are helping me a lot now. Not for everyone but something worth considering if you feel like this for a long time. I also had counselling via my clinic, just a one off session and I didn’t imagine that it could help but it really did. Having someone acknowledge that an awful thing happened is important. I’m due to restart treatment and have had a couple of panic attacks the last few days when thinking about it, something I haven’t had for ages so I’m also worried about how future cycles will go.
Sorry this is so long and probably not that helpful but wanted to let you know you’re not alone. Sending huge hugs xx
Thanks for your reply and definitely helpful. I want to ty avoid medication if I can as I know they take a while to kick in and just hoping things get better sooner. I’ve been thinking about the counselling though. Our clinic does offer counselling but I was worried if I told them how badly I was feeling, they would delay my next transfer as they’d think I wasn’t mentally able to deal with it. Any delay could probably have the opposite effect as it’s the constant waiting that’s the worst ! I did wonder if the hormones were playing a big part as I’ve not had anxiety before, it’s bloody awful! I’m so sorry for your loss too. Good luck with your next cycle. Hope you feel better and no more panic attacks. Big hugs back 💜💜💜💜 xx
Hey sorry for your loss I have been there many time I never used to have anxiety or panic attacks then I had an ectopic pregnancy followed by miscarriages then I started to have severe panic attacks I actually didn’t know what it was I went dizzy and nearly fainted in work my heart rate was fast etc I went to the docs it happened in the waiting room I thought I was dying he calmed me down and explained to me it was panic attacks caused by health and it can happen at any time even if you weren’t thinking about it at the time I have went on and had a baby girl through ivf I still have panic attacks but I just no how to manage them better if I feel one coming on I will stay busy and have deep breaths and say I’m ok sounds silly but it seems to help loosing a baby no matter how early you are is traumatic if they get really bad and affect your every day life go to the doctor and explain to them they will be able to help for something that works for u take care xx
Thanks for your reply. So happy to hear that you had a successful pregnancy after so much heartbreak. Sounds like I’ve been going through a similar thing to you. My husband has been great and helping me with breathing techniques, it’s just so scary when you haven’t experienced it before.I keep trying to be positive and focus in the three more chances we have with our frozen embryos, but it’s hard not to get sucked into negativity sometimes. It’s still all quite fresh but I think if they continue I will speak to my doctor. Hopefully things will feel calmer soon xx
Ps I didn’t want to start tablets if I could manage them my self and I seem to do ok try not drink a lot of caffeine he told me that can trigger them too my sister is on tablets because she couldn’t manage them her self everyone’s different 😊
Hello lovely. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through and are still going through. I've not had anxiety for this specific reason, but I have had a lot of panic attacks in my life in general. If you can identify what triggers them, they can become more manageable. So for example, if seeing pregnancy announcements on Instagram or FB is causing you problems, it might be worth coming off them for a while, just while you work through your grief. I have also found this video really helpful for stopping a panic attack in the moment youtube.com/watch?v=7SstjY_.... Sending hugs xxxx
Thanks for sharing the video. I've watched it and agree this is quite helpful. My husband keeps telling me to 'think of something else' or 'don't think about it' and the video explains how this method just doesn't work. The way I explained it to my husband was like it war telling someone having a heart attack to stop having a heart attack... different completely I know, but telling someone to be happy when depressed or stop panicking when having a panic attack is just an impossible piece of advice.I'm definitely going to have a social media break. It's been very hard with mothers day and I think a break will just be good overall. Thanks for your kind words and advice xx
Everything your feeling is completely normal and valid!
I really struggled emotionally after my early loss in Oct 2020. I had a lot of time off work and was very low for a long time. In October 2021 I had a loss @ 9.5 weeks and again I went to a bad place. However, I didn't take as much time off work (few days) as the earlier loss the year before. And I somehow managed to function a lot quicker this time. I found the early loss worse almost because I had no idea this could/would happen to me and it absolutely flawed me. Both of the losses feel equally as sad to me and I reflect about the what ifs on a regular basis. What your feeling is completely normal.
Like you, I'll be doing a FET soon and I am petrified it will happen again. However, this is out of my control and my fertility team and I am doing my best. I do have a 2.5 year old from IVF so I know it can work for me and I hold onto that hope.
Always here if you want to chat. Big hugs. It's shit.
Hi there, thanks for your reply and for your words of support. Like you, I really didn't think about this consequence. I was prepared mentally for a BFN and was positively hoping for a BFP but I hadn't really given any thought to miscarriage... I just felt elated that it had worked after 2 years of nothing. Like you, I am hoping I am better equipped to deal with things the next time.I'm so happy that you had success with IVF and have a beautiful toddler. I'm also so sorry to hear of your losses. You're right, it is shit. I've done a lot of self-pity over the last couple of weeks which I have found hard as anyone who knows me would describe me as the happiest person they know... my default setting is normally happy and positive, guess that's why I have found this so hard.
Good luck with your FET! I have my consultant review a week today so will find out timeframes, I'm hoping it will be soon xxx
And it's perfectly normal to be sad and angry that this happened to you. Don't feel like you have to keep up appearances and be your usual happy self immediately. You have gone through something massive.
I hope it will be soon for you too if this is what you want as I know the waiting takes its toll. It's been 6 months since my last loss and that's what I needed but for some it serves them better to get back on rollercoaster. I really hope you get your rainbow 🌈 baby sooner rather than later. All the best for your FET.
Xx
Hi sweetie! I too had a chemical back in December at 4w5d, a weeks before Christmas. I had the saddest Christmas in my life. For me it was my first ever transfer and BFP. And it was taken away from me so easily. My clinic tried to make me feel better and say that I should be grateful at least that I can become pregnant. It's a good sign, even if it ended so ugly.
In those weeks I didn't wanted to try for a new FET. Having only one embryo left in the freezer I thought what will the chances be for it to implant as well or do through thaw. Couldn't stand seeing couples with babies or announcements. And the family photos on Christmas day killed me.
Fast forward...January 21st period came, called the clinic and started a new FET. On February 10th had my transfer, no hopes, no symptoms, no nothing. At 10dpt did a pregnancy test to know if I'll wait for my period or not. Came positive. And on OTD had a beta of 490. Currently 9 weeks pregnant. Saw little bean at 7 weeks right on track with a strong heartbeat.
It's hard keep going and sometimes you think that what are the chances and you won't get pregnant. There's hope! Keep going and never lose faith. God has his plans! My heart goes out to you. I hope my story can make you feel better and see that after a storm there's always a rainbow right after the corner.
Hi AllySounds like we've been through a similar situation. Like you, mine was my first transfer and first BFP and I naively just thought that that was it and that we were really lucky that it worked first time. Seeing other couples with pregnancy announcements or baby posts has also triggered me in a way I never thought I could be. I feel guilty for being bitter as I've never thought of myself as a bitter person.
Your story definitely gives me hope though! I hope that our next transfer happens as quickly, as I've read you are more fertile after a loss (cruel world hey!)I'm so happy for you that you've got to where you are! Praying that we also see a rainbow soon to! xx
Yeah after that BFP I thought my worries ended and that the hardest part was to get that positive. How wrong was I!! I felt too sorry for being jealous on other couples but it's totally normal and we shouldn't feel ashamed with our feelings. They play a part in healing.
That's too what I've read that we're more fertile but considering the poor motility and count my husband has conceiving naturally, that would've been a miracle.
You should expect your next period in 4-6 weeks. Mine came after 5 weeks. The hardest part is to heal your soul. I didn't experience bad physical pain but the pain I felt in my soul, was excruciating.
I'm happy my story made you feel a little better and after every storm, a rainbow shows up🌈
Firstly I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. This sounds very similar to my experience, I also suffered an early miscarriage after our first round of IVF. It was our first time seeing a positive test and the feeling of joy and happiness was like nothing I had ever felt. However, the heart break when we had this miscarriage was also nothing like I had ever felt.
I was in a bad place for weeks, after 4 weeks I went back to work and it was too soon. I had a breakdown in work on my first day back and went off again for another 4 weeks.
I went through a roller-coaster of emotions of thinking I wish we would have never gotten the positive because of the pain I felt after the loss, to feeling grateful I had even carried our baby for such a short time.
I ended up going to the Dr's because like you I had overwhelming anxiety attacks and was in floods of tears all the time. My G.P prescribed me propranolol for the anxiety attacks which did help and over time.
I came off social media for a while (deleted both Instagram and Facebook apps from my phone) and I had like 12 months off from IVF until I felt stronger again and I also had counselling. One thing that my counselor said to me was
"you have experience a massive fall and just because it is mentally doesn't mean it takes any less time to heal, if you would have fallen from a roof you wouldn't expect your broken bones to bounce back, so you don't have to either".
Sorry for such the long post, I just hope you find some comfort that you are not alone. It might not seem like it now but you will learn to adjust and life will get easier again. Be kind to yourself and lean on this community for support because they helped me massively!
Hi JadeThank for you your response and for sharing your emotional journey. I'm so sorry you have been through this too. I'm glad you are in a better place now and I completely relate to the quote your counsellor said... sometimes emotional wounds take longer to heal that physically ones.
I didn't have any time off when I miscarried. I took two weeks off during the lead up to my egg collection and then the week following transfer so didn;t feel like I could have time off. I manage a mental health service (which I know is ironic as I need to take care of my own mental health) so I felt I needed to be back in to make sure everyone/thing was okay.
I've managed with having some work from home days and slightly shorter days when I feel emotional, but I also think for me, keeping busy is better than being home and ruminating.
I do take comfort in knowing that these feelings are normal, so thank you so much for sharing. I too have wondered if it would have been better to have not got a positive... it's a difficult question as I will always wonder 'why?' or if I did something wrong, but everything I've read indicates it just wasn't meant to be this time. This community has helped me loads already, and I'm glad to hear they've helped you too xx
Hi I am really sorry to hear your loss, I had a chemical pregnancy and too had 3 panic attacks. I haven't had one since I left to go to uni when I was 18. I think the complete and utter grief is just overwhelming and body and mind just can't deal with it, so I suppose it has to come out some way. I was only pregnant for a matter of days so it's no surprise that they passed very quickly, but they did pass! So hang on in there x
Hello Sarascottxox, I feel your pain, I really do. I have had PTS and severe anxiety since my miscarriage last year at 9.5 weeks. I was thrown into a surreal and chaotic world of ambulances - late, hospital - alone, abandoned on the emergency ward (covid battlefield) for hours with no pads, no water, no pain relief. I was terrified. I won’t go into the worst of it as I don’t want to upset anyone but I do have private counselling once a month, but really I think I need to speak to someone who deals with pregnancy loss…do these exist? It is still almost impossible to see a doctor face to face and a call back is usually two to three weeks. Just learning to live with distress and anger at how un necessarily ill I was in the weeks, months afterwards is exhausting. I hope you can find some help and support. Yoga breathing has helped me in the worst attacks but I refuse to take antidepressants. Ashwagandha Supplements can also help knock the severity edge off anxiety too. Take care and I hope things start to improve for you with time and love.🤗🥰
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