After 2 failed FETs and 1 spontaneous lost pregnancy we are giving up. We have a little boy from our first fresh cycle and he will have to go through his life with no sibling.
I'm 37 in may. The medication and the whole process makes me unhappy, if not depressed, the menopausal symptoms are horrible and the inability to plan anything in case of another cycle, appointment, pregnancy is too much. I feel like my live is slipping away and instead of enjoying what I have I'm miserable longing for something impossible.
That's why that was the last FET. Now, while I'm waiting for the bleeding, I need to get rid of all the baby stuff we kept in case we need it.
I am thinking about buying myslef a ring in a memory of the lost chances. Something with a heart or 3 gems...
What do people do to mark the end of the journey? How do they move on?
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So sorry for the junction you're at. I think your idea of something sentimental to help sounds really lovely.
Please don't feel sad for your son though. My parents could only have me through fertility treatment and after a traumatic miscarriage and complications my mother had to have a hysterectomy so they didn't manage to widen their family like they'd wanted. I ABSOLUTELY love being an only child so as sad as it was/is for them, it really has only made my life more rich because I don't need to share them with anyone else 🥰 they've also been my rock through my own fertility journey. Your son will never feel lonely or miss out because he has parents who love him more than anything & will go the extra mile to ensure he's happy! Xx
I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time . I know exactly what you mean about your life just slipping by. I’ve been so fixated on next cycle and what’s going to happen in future you can easily lose focus on what’s happening now and the time just passes. The thought of going through another cycle is so hard with all the side effects and complications and sometimes I can’t imagine doing it again but it’s so hard to finally say that’s it and make peace with it. There’s always a small part of me that hopes for a miracle and I might suddenly get pregnant naturally even though I’m pretty sure that’s impossible for me. The ring sounds like a lovely idea though. Sending hugs to you x
It's not easy, but I remember having a chat with a friend a year ago, before the last two FETs, and saying that I feel happy. No meds, no worries, just happy. I have not felt that since. Didn't plan holiday as was going through get, didn't go home for Christmas as was waiting for injections, didn't do many things because I didn't know when I will have appointments... And the moods on prostap are the worst. And my poor boy was having one annoyed mum last year...I'm not sure about a ring yet... I found a rainbow one, but there is no rainbow baby.... But why not..
I'm only on IVF cycle two and I can already understand why people would reach a point where they just want to stop. There's so much physical discomfort with the drugs and then the emotional rollercoaster of all sorts of things changing and potentially going wrong even if you do get pregnant—not to mention the isolation and depression that comes from not being able to plan things to look forward to.
I think the idea of a ring is beautiful. It could symbolise a new start for you. I actually Googled it for you and looks like certain symbols and gemstones represent new beginnings. Linking you to an article about it! lillicoco.com/blogs/love-li...
I totally understand you as I'm in the same position. So desperately want to give a sibling to my son but also feel like my life is slipping through my hands. Any decision is not ideal decision. But my plan is the same as yours. I'm giving myself one more chance with fresh IVF, and whatever the outcome, that will be the final round/rounds. I can't wait to be fair, I'm sooooo tired with all this journey.
Sending you much love and enjoy your life with your husband and son
I couldn’t relate more to your post if I had written it myself! I have just found out that my final round of ivf hasn’t worked. 2 rounds, 5 transfers and not even an inkling to a positive result. I have a 3 year old boy too (natural conception) and my life has been absorbed by this journey for 1,5 years and I’m just done!
I am soo sad that it hasn’t worked but I’m not going to lie that I feel relief not having to do more of these horrendous drugs and start to get on with my life.
I think it’s a great idea of a jewelry that marks the end of it and it’s time to celebrate what life has already given us. I might do the same!
Nothing is easy for us, is it? at least our little ones are not big enough to understand it all. I need some holiday now to end it all. but first the wait for the bleeding... I am blessed with what I have and I cannot wait to go back to my life without the dark cloud of IVF hanging over my family. We have given it the best shot...
All the best to you Tessan1. Have a big cuddle of your boy and do let me know if you find any jewelry piece that you like. I may go for a rainbow ring...
I’m so sorry, I’m feeling pretty done. My husband is keen to carry on so we’re trying naturally but physically & mentally I’m exhausted. I’m really struggling I feel depressed. I have no answers for you. Do you have anything new you’d like to try in life? A new hobby?
I'm sorry you're at that point on your journey. It's exhausting. My husband is not very talkative and I'm a bottle -it-up person myslef so we haven't really talked about it but Im guessing we won't any contraception. Why would we? 😉I've signed myslef for a national professional qualification course, I had a hunch I will need a distractions. It just started so this year is sorted. I would get a dog buy can't travell abroad much then, wouldn't be fair on the 4-legs. I would love a dog... 🐾
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