Should I lose hope?: Hi! Love and baby... - Fertility Network UK

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Should I lose hope?

Sage5 profile image
24 Replies

Hi!

Love and baby dust to all.

Looking for some love and guidance.

A bit of background:

August 2020 - Fertility MOT = Low AMH and Antral Follicle Count

Jan 2021 - IUI = BFN

May 2021 - IVF 11 Eggs, 9 Mature, 5 fertilised (5 day blasts)

1 x Fresh Grade A Hatching Transfer = BFN

August 2021 - 1 x FET Grade A = Chemical

Dec 2021 - 1 x FET Grade A Hatching = BFN (added in extra aspirin and Clexane this time)

Firstly, I know I should be incredibly grateful at having got 5 blasts, having 2 left in the freezer and also that I have once seen a second line but I'm struggling. I have now had three transfers of Grade A (some already hatching) blasts with no success.

I have read that after three failed attempts the odds are significantly reduced. Does this mean three transfers or full IVF rounds? Maybe because the news of this latest failed transfer is so fresh I'm struggling to find hope; I was so attached to the beautiful blast already. The last couple of years and every penny I own has been consumed by this but I cannot imagine accepting my life without a child.

I didn't opt to have an ERA after my second transfer (my first FET) as I had implanted somewhat the consultant did not advise but I will do this next if I can find the strength. Should I lose hope?

Love to all x

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Sage5
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24 Replies
Littlepeax profile image
Littlepeax

So sorry to hear. It really is such a tough journey. In my heart though, if I had embroys still I would use them ❤ especially such a good grade. I think alot of it is luck. But also have you checked your progesterone levels? I know this is fast becoming more and more looked into and so very important. Also I've seen people on here who have tried 5/6 times and eventually get there. It's just how much you can take. Everyone is different❤💫

Sage5 profile image
Sage5 in reply toLittlepeax

Thanks so much for replying. I know you are right, I just want someone to say 'I have seen in to the future and I know it will happen for you so keep going.' Wishful thinking! <3

My clinic don't test for progesterone unless requested. I could do think next time. Usually I don't bleed for a few days after stopping progesterone so I've always assumed my levels were good. x

Ladybugluck profile image
Ladybugluck

Hi Sage, I’m so sorry for what you are going through. Failed transfers are DEVASTATING and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I’m sorry this has been your journey. You mention in your post that you hear your odds go down after three failed transfers, but my understanding is this is only the case if the embryos are PGD normal. Did you by any chance test? It could be that the right embryo just hasn’t been transferred yet. I’d definitely try the two you have abs PGD test next time if you end up doing another retrieval. At your age, I definitely wouldn’t give up hope! Age is on your side! Regardless, keep trying naturally. I can totally relate to IVF taking all of your time and money. We don’t have insurance coverage (here in the US) and have spent over 125K on fertility. We had to take a line of credit againstour home to pay for it all. It’s a nsane how expensive it all is!! Best of luck to you! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping these next two stick!!

Sage5 profile image
Sage5 in reply toLadybugluck

Thanks for replying. I didn't get them tested no. The thought was that at my age there is a high chance at least one could be normal and to save the money for transfer fees but didn't factor in the emotional toll the failures/loss would take. I will definitely consider this if I go for another retrieval now I think. It's insane isn't it. We are strong and brave! x

Fruitandflowers profile image
Fruitandflowers

Sorry about the failed attempts. It may not feel like it at all right now but maybe try to see those as very positive results overall - you got a lot of eggs, they were good quality, a great number of blasts and one implanted. We weren't exactly feeling like that after two transfers ended before 6 weeks but our doctors thought our similar outcome was great - ruled out loads of potential problems and rendered a lot of tests unnecessary. They said it was a numbers game but I didn't like the idea of 'wasting' embryos if there was something else we could do. So before my FET I had several long conversations with my consultant and went through all possible options (mainly those I'd read about on here) just so I could be fully informed before going again. Tbh didn't come up with much but meant not delaying to have a load of further tests if they weren't really necessary - but I'm older than you and felt under more time pressure. I think my issue is progesterone resistance/oestrogen dominance meaning you can have high progesterone blood levels but it doesn't necessarily get where it's needed. I've had symptoms of that for years and only now is it - and progesterone issues generally - being taken seriously. When we switched to vaginal pessaries and lubion, it worked. It may be a completely different thing for you or simply numbers, but if you can get your doctors to really discuss the results and options, at least you'll feel you explored everything and then the numbers game approach doesn't feel so difficult. Having said that, I also tried to see each transfer as a completely new chance and not just one in a series - that helped a bit with the hope x

Sage5 profile image
Sage5 in reply toFruitandflowers

Thanks for replying. Yes, I always thought I was a glass half full person. Will keep working on this! Would very much like to go down the tests route now before trying the last two. So pleased to hear of your success. Yes, I think I'd love to feel like I've explored more of what is happening specifically to me to help with the numbers game x

Rain415 profile image
Rain415

Hi Sage. Im sorry to hear about the negative transfers it's so hard when you don't know why high quality are not sticking. I really hope the last two stick for you. Our highest quality (1:1 hatching) 'beautiful' the embryologist always said, didn't work, one was bfn thr other was a chemical pregnancy. The blastocyst that was deemed 'not as pretty' (embryologist words) is the one that stuck. Try to not get too disheartened that the 'better quality ones didn't work. All the luck in the world for when you decide to do another transfer 🧡

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin

There is still loads of hope left.. take heart! Every transfer has a chance of being your BPF. I got my BFP with the 4th transfer.. this cycle I did an ERA and the transfer was done on day 6 as I the ERA showed I was pre receptive on day 5. I also drank Matcha tea for 2 months before the transfer and my endometrium was 12.5 instead of the normal 8.5 and I had some acupuncture too. Good luck and baby dust💕

Sage5 profile image
Sage5 in reply toBozo_the_pumpkin

Thanks for replying! This brings me hope. ERA is next for me. How soon can I get the ERA done after this cycle do you reckon? Congratulations, wishing you all the best xx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply toSage5

I think you normally wait for your period, then Down regulation with Prostap or Lyceum or some such… then period and then the mock cycle in which you do the ERA.. I think that was my timings

IVFat40 profile image
IVFat40

Hello hun, I wondered whether you've considered immune testing, I had my uterine natural killer cells tested at the Warwick/Coventry specialist clinic (as part of their study), and was recommended prednisolone (steroid) and uterine scratch. Before this testing I had 7 blastocysts that failed (one very early chemical), I've recently had my 8th blastocyst transferred, with the steroids and scratch, and it's the first one that's properly implanted. I'm now just over 5 weeks, still very early days of course, but a massive step forward for me compared to my history. Good luck 😊

Sage5 profile image
Sage5 in reply toIVFat40

hey lovely! Yes I thought about it after my second transfer (the chemical) but chose to spend the money on trying to transfer again because the chemical gave me hope. I think it's time to throw all money at tests as I don't want to 'waste' my precious embies. I have everything crossed for you xxx

IVFat40 profile image
IVFat40

Thank you so much hun. The immune testing at Warwick/Coventry was 'only' about £550, I think because it's part of a trial and run within the NHS. It's so crazy that in the IVF world £550 feels like a relatively low amount (I'm completely with you on every penny being consumed by IVF - but, I really believe it will be worth it in the end for both of us).

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin

Prednisone has been added to my treatment plan this time in case of NK cells issues , as a preventative. . Also, the ERA will double up as a uterine scratch as that is essentially what it is. I have also done assisted hatching this time. I’ve read that defrosted embies might have a harder shell which can sometimes prevent them from hatching on their own. And I am also using levothyroxine to lower thyroid levels

Jjleo profile image
Jjleo

Hey hun have you looked at supplements? I was diagnosed with low AMH and diminished ovarian reserve like you this year I was 29 just turned 30. You got more eggs than me I only had 4 retrieved. My partner also had low motility. We took all the supplements from the the book itstartswiththeegg, it really works on the quality if the eggs and sperm and I 100% believe is what caused our IVF to work. Unfortunately although we are ( I was) in my 20's with diminished ovarian reserve we also have a decline in quality. Just so sad that we are both so young and are facing this issue. We were fortunate that it worked first time for us but I think had we not taken the supplements it wouldn't have. We managed to raise my partners sperm motility from 6% low to 40% above average and my eggs were of a high quality. We had 2 transferred and currently have twins on the way im 10 weeks. I would follow all the tips these other lovely ladies have suggested however would advise should you ever consider another fresh cycle that you take the supplements for at least 4 months prior to give the best chance as we did! Best of luck to you on your journey xx

I don’t think you should lose hope. My sister had her two children on her 7th and 8th transfers and nothing was different - sometimes it’s just rotten luck and there’s no rhyme nor reason

You have great embryos and some more left. You are in good shape even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. Heaps of luck x

Maryc32 profile image
Maryc32

Hiya. I’m sorry you are struggling and I know how harsh the blow of the third fail is, but please don’t get too wrapped up in statistics and reading them. I got obsessed with it, and it didn’t help me.

If it helps I got pregnant on my 5th transfer (and two were doubles). I’ve had two egg collections and both times got a decent amount of embryos. Ivf is very hard to predict and sometimes just luck. Hang in there, and please don’t beat yourself up.

I’ve never had an ERA. I’ve tried embryo glue and endo scratch (didn’t make a difference for me but have for some people I spoke to). The only thing that made a difference for me this time was PGTA testing my embryos. BUT this isn’t proven to work for everyone. My advice would be follow your gut if you really want to try something then do :)

And don’t worry about numbers, as long as you’re making embryos you can keep going, each one has just as much chance no matter what number transfer it is xxx

Clara2009 profile image
Clara2009

The first step is take a break and get busy. I am on break after 3failed ivf. Do not lose hope pls.

Mai94 profile image
Mai94

It’s hard but don’t lose hope! I’ve had 3 failed attempts at pregnancy, one natural which needed in my miscarriage, one ivf BFP also resulting in miscarriage and one failed transfer.

Then went in to have a double transfer and both have stuck around, differences were aspirin and fragmin which I know you have tried. And endometrial scratch prior to transfer and although it was a natural FET I used progesterone pessaries as an additional.

Good luck lovely !! X

Jana483 profile image
Jana483

You need three full ivf rounds!The fact that you once got pregnant is enough indication it might happen again!

I had 2 fresh cycles with total of 8 (3rd day embryo) transfered before I got my first ivf baby.

And then did another 2 fresh cycles with total 7 (3rd day embryo) to get my second current ivf pregnancy.

I can't even reach blasts so the fact that you can is awesome!

Nuszkahope profile image
Nuszkahope

I just gave birth to my little daughter, transfer number 13, 5th round of IVF.

They say to try at least 3 full cycles but it can take up to 6 ( retrieval + transfer of all the embryos)I also always had loads of top quality embryos ( biologists opinion) and last two cycles I started to do PGT testing on them, most of them had problems so I regret I did not do that earlier…

Please never give up, it took me 4 years of IVF, some surgeries and millions of tests to get here but we have been successful in the end.

I had many low moments of despair and disappointment but I always believed that I will eventually be successful.

Wishing you all the luck in the world ❤️ Chin up and don’t look back, think of a next step forward x

HollyCG profile image
HollyCG

Hi Sage5!

Your story sounds incredibly similar to mine after having a fertility MOT I was told I had low amh.

I panicked & jumped straight into IVF. My first round I ended up with 4 5AA hatching blasts. First two transfers ended in BFN - I was worried about wasting more embryos if there was another issue so I had the ERA/EMMA/ALICE test before my second transfer.

After my second failed I asked if I could have further tests as I was convinced after googling like a crazy person that I was having implantation failure (also didn’t make sense to me that even though my egg count was low they were “top quality” so why wouldn’t I fall naturally) my clinic wouldn’t test for any immune issues so I moved clinics took my embryos with me & had further testing. Turns out I had high NK cells & on my next round added steroids & intralipids - I am now 13 weeks pregnant. So thankful I followed my gut & didn’t waste another perfectly good embryo.

Xx

Mdms profile image
Mdms

I’m sorry to hear you are going through this - it’s awful. I know how you feel - after losing our second daughter at 20 weeks following mixed diagnoses and a cordocentesis in 2018, I finally got pregnant again March 2020, and had a missed miscarriage of twins. I’ve now had 3 rounds of IVF and 5 failed transfers - 3 of which had been PGT-A tested and had EMMA, ERA ALICE. All of the doctors told me I would be pregnant first round no problem since my first two pregnancies happened on the first month trying. So I understand about losing hope - but keep going if you can - it’s a hard road but you have good frozen embryos still. I have one still frozen and am about to have a WIN test which is similar to ERA as the results expire after a year. Just know you aren’t going through this alone - although I know it feels like it! Wishing you better luck next transfer. Xx

Summertime12 profile image
Summertime12

Please do not loose hope. We tried for over 10 years (IUI's and several rounds of IVF) and I'm 6 months pregnant now. I've never been pregnant before!

Please get your Immunes checked. You need a very good clinic who believes in Immunes testing otherwise it's a complete waste of time and money.

I was prescribed dexamethasone instead of Prednisolone, Aspirin, Clexane and was having regular infusions of Intralipids. You should also have your Thyroid checked. Once I got my positive I was at the clinic every other day as they were checking my projesterone levels, HCG and doing a full blood count.

Wishing you all the best and sending you baby dust x

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