BFN 10dp5dt

[PrincessGurn1984]

Am 10dp5dt transfer today. OTD tomorrow.

I caved today and tested, felt proud of myself holding off this long and wanted time to process it in my head before having to do OTD tomorrow and calling clinic. I’m not surprised and sad that it’s a BFN, not even a hint of a line. Did CB and First. Am sad and gutted but I’m not surprised, I have zero symptoms other than lower back pain and sore boobs from the progesterone. As I have had a natural pregnancy prior to this I know my boobs normally go rock hard and other symptoms to indicate pregnancy and I’ve had none of those.

It’s really hard and I feel like giving up after only having my first transfer, it’s crushing isn’t it. But I know the result won’t change for OTD tomorrow.

Got 2 on ice so hopefully one of them will work.

Any words of wisdom welcome! X

[MammaMia86]

I am so sorry! Nothing worse than looking at those tests and see nothing. My only advice it is not to lose hope....it is going to happen!!! but it might take a bit more time. Remember you have 2 embryos frozen, so that is a good thing. Talk with the doctor and see what you need to do to start again. Remember this is not the end😘

[Pnw2020]

Hi. Take time to feel sad and hibernate if that helps you then focus on the planning the next cycle for the new year and good things to come! For me I was glad to get back into exercise as that really helps my mood. Take care x

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to Pnw2020]

Thanks I did think, I can see it as an opportunity to go back to the gym, have a glass of wine on Christmas Day, go swimming again, eat cured meats lol. Trying to find the joy in small things. I just feel really like ‘ this is never going to work, if this one didn’t stick, none of the others will’ Like why doesn’t an embryo implant? How come some don’t and some do! X

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely, so sorry to hear this - it's so hard.Just because this one didn't work, doesn't mean the next one won't. There are often genetic abnormalities in embryos that cannot be detected by eye - so even if they are good looking blastocysts, they may still not implant. So don't write off your others!!

My advice would be to talk it through with your consultant - ask lots of questions - and see what they suggest for the next one. We did 6 transfers before it worked and what gave me hope was that each time we did some new testing, or changed something up - so I felt like we weren't just chucking them back in and hoping for the best.

xxx

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to Millbanks]

Thanks this is really helpful advice, I think you hear these romantic stories of it working first time for people then when it doesn’t happen for yourself it’s hard to not feel downbeat. It’s feels weird the disappointment/grief and I think it’s gonna take a few days to settle in my mind x

[Millbanks in reply to PrincessGurn1984]

Honestly I think the first time was the worst for me for this very reason. I 100% just assumed it would work because we didn't have any "issues".... or so I thought anyway. It completely blew me away when it was negative. But there are so many things that you can try next time, and for some people it does work 2nd time.

But for the moment, enjoy being able to have a vino and some gooey cheese.

Much love to you xx

[Bookbroad]

Hey PG, I’m in a very similar situation. Just had my second transfer in 2 months and a BFN. The 2ww has been the most brutal part of this process and 100% understand your frustration and fear around future transfers not working. I’ve been asking myself ‘If this one was supposed to be the ‘best’ what chance do the others have?!’. I don’t really have any advice, only wanted to say I see you and understand. For me, knowing there are similar people in this situation helps with the sense of loneliness, even though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. From my experience, with last months transfer, I can say that it gets easier as time goes on and you’ll find you’ve got reserves of energy and optimism you didn’t know you had, I’m sure you’ll draw on them when they’re needed, but for now…I feel your feelings without putting any pressure on yourself to feel any other way, take some time for yourself and take advantage of any small things that will make you feel even just a tiny bit better - food, wine and friends who will cheer you up, even if the idea of being sociable feels like the last thing you want to do. Take care xx

[Redsequin]

Oh no, I'm so sorry. I really had my fingers crossed for you that it would work the first time. I hope you can rest and look after yourself: you deserve all the treats!

Hopefully, your two frosties are of some consolation and it won't be too long before you can try again. I do think some people respond better to frozen embryo transfers as their body has had a chance to recover, so hopefully, that'll do the trick. Also, your consultant might have lots of ideas of what to tweak for next time.

Sending so many hugs xxxxxx

[AuroraXen]

Really sort hear this. It's so disappointing, just doesn't get any easier 😞 Sending lots of love xx

[Roobs33]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this it’s so awful seeing a negative after all the effort gone into it. Hopefully you will be able to feel more optimistic as time goes on. I had my first failed round in October, and I had heard a lot of stories of it working first time for people. And I definitely thought - oh that could be me, but sadly it wasn’t to be! I had a severe endometriosis diagnosis a year ago and two surgeries since and I think that prepared me for it not to work. When I spoke to the Dr I think he could sense my negativity, and told me that I had had a good round. I felt a bit like - well how can it be a good round if it didn’t work?! I have one frozen which I’m going to try in Jan. I have been pleased to be off the medication and glad i am able to try and relax a bit more over Xmas which I think will help prepare for the FET. Sometimes all the feelings of disappointment do hit me (mainly when I get my period), but the Dr told me to have hope which I do feel like I have now. I really wish you all the best, and having two frozen is great. Sometimes frozen transfers can work better as the body hasn’t just been through all the stimulation. It’s so great to get support on here and to not feel so alone. I find it so hard talking to friends about IVF as it’s so complex and they just look a bit confused (which I think I would if I was them). I Hope you have a lovely Xmas and can spend time with family xxx

[Karinashe]

I know this is an old post, but I feel exactly the same in an exactly the same situation. 🫤

[PrincessGurn1984 in reply to Karinashe]

Thinking of you and and sending you strength, as tough as it all was, I’m glad we didn’t give up hope x