10dp5dt

[mirah]

Hello all,

Today was my OTD and I tested on the morning though not the first wee and it came as negative.

It was a 5 day blastocyst and doctors / embryologist said it was a good embryo and I had such high hopes due to all other things being in good shape too.

I’m so disappointed and cried all day. This was my first FET as hospital advised me not to do fresh transfer as I had mild OHSS. I have been on this journey since 2016. Finally started my IVF in Sep and here am I now.

How do you guys cope and what are the next steps.

Thank you to all and best wishes to whoever is going through IVF.

Thanks

M

[Niki_B]

Oh hun I'm so very sorry, bfn are so awful 😥 my first failed transfer I was devastated. I naively had it in my head that it was going to work 1st time. While yes sometimes it does work first time but I think you'll find that is more rare. I just didnt know that much about IVF but after doing so much research I was shocked to find the odds were nowhere near what I thought they were, especially at my age. I dont know how we pick ourselves up and carry on but we do. I thought at the time there is no way I could put myself through this again...but I did. I think you just need time to grieve and you will be ready again, that's if you can and want to. Hopefully you have some frozen embies? I didnt my first cycle and had to start alllll over again, but I found it much easier 2nd time round as i knew what to expect.

This journey is definately tough thats for sure! I hope you and your partner have good support around you and be kind to eachother during this grief stage. Sending you a massive hug, and we are all here for you. Again I'm really really sorry 😥💕💕 xxx

[Ruby26]

Sending you lots of love XX I remember the feeling well. Had a perfect 5 day blastocyst and it was negative. For a while I blamed myself and thought was something I’d done but sometimes it’s just bad luck. Take time to grieve then when you are ready, dust yourself off and go again! You will get there 💕💕 x

[mirah]

Thank you both . I feel much better after reading your replies. I pretty much feel the same that it’s my mistake but I guess you are right that it’s a luck as well xx

[Core]

So sorry to read this, went through something very similar in November, I found Christmas and New Year particularly hard but am now starting another FET. Do you have any Frosties or a follow up appointment booked?xx

[mirah]

Hi Core, thanks for your message. I can understand how hard it must have been for you. Life just seems to stop but I guess we shouldn’t give up on dreaming of becoming a mother.

I called up the clinic today and they have booked me for next month for follow up and asked me to do test again on Sunday . I’m sure it’s not going to change. I do have 3 frozen embies but don’t remember their grades etc.

I wish you the best for your FET xx

[Kcrochet]

I’m sorry to hear of the negative result 😔 one thing I would say is that even when the embryologist says an embryo looks good, they’re basing that on the limited characteristics they can see down a microscope, like how even the cells look. What they can see is only the tip of the iceberg of what’s going on in that little embie. So while it’s obviously a good thing to know all is looking promising, it absolutely does not mean that if it doesn’t stick it’s down to something you did ‘wrong’. Also I’ve heard that in the US some clinics don’t even bother with embryo grading as they think it’s not important xx

[Kikiwaits]

I’m in the US and had eight frozen embryos from my fresh IVF cycle in 2014 that resulted in my daughter. All were grade AB. We did a frozen transfer in November that failed, despite it looking like a “good embryo.”

Ended up having a laparoscopy last month that removed endometriosis and a blocked Fallopian tube. Trying again with another transfer this month. It’s really frustrating that there are no guarantees in this process. I hope your next FET is sucessful!

[mirah in reply to Kikiwaits]

Thank you Kikiwaits .

Wish you the best I can understand how frustrating it is. I had laparoscopy in Aug last year where they couldn’t find much just mild endometriosis which they burned. My embryo was 5BBB. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.Im coping right now but this forum is great atleast you don’t feel alone and we all are going through this so can understand how it feels.

Thank you for your wishes and I wish you all the best too for your FET and hope you see a BFP xx