BFN - feel hopeless : Hi all, Just to... - Fertility Network UK

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BFN - feel hopeless

Babymagic37 profile image
10 Replies

Hi all,

Just to let you know I had a BFN this morning after my 2ww. We honestly thought this could be the one, it was a strong embryo and a good lining etc plus I did everything that is possible to help it e.g. eating right, looking after myself. We are absolutely devastated. This was our second embryo transfer after 5 rounds of ICSI. We have no more embryos and no more will power to continue. What’s more we have to live 5 minutes away from ‘friends’ who were successful on their first embryo transfer. It makes me angry that we are going through this. To be honest I just feel like this will never happen for us. I want to accept a child free existence but my husband does not want to give up. I have lost all hope. I just needed to rant and state how unfair this process is and how angry I feel.

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Babymagic37 profile image
Babymagic37
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10 Replies
Fertilityjourney profile image
Fertilityjourney

I'm so sorry to hear this. This is such a tough journey. Rant, cry and do what you need to for now... and over the next few days, hopefully you and hubby can agree on moving forwards. Big hugs. Xx

Picalilli99 profile image
Picalilli99

I’m so sorry about your bfn this morning. They really are soul destroying - especially cycle after cycle. Life can be so bloody unfair sometimes so rant away lovely - people on here totally understand! I’d say don’t try to make any big decisions either way right now. Just take a bit of time to focus on looking after yourself if you can. Sending big hugs xxx

JA-fnuk profile image
JA-fnukPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Just take it a day at a time at the moment Allow yourself time to grieve and make sure you have people round you who can support you Thinking of you

Janet

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks

Hi lovely, there's not much that can prepare you for how awful all of this is. I just wanted to send you a hug and some understanding xx

Ginger1984 profile image
Ginger1984

Oh I'm so sorry. We are on our 5th try now. Got my final scan tomorrow then hopefully egg collection Mon. We have said this is our last go. Mainly due to finances. If you can afford to go on and mentally feel ok? Keep trying. On our first go of icsi we were successful first time. I now have a 5 year old daughter. Soon to be 6 on Xmas day. It can work but I know how you feel we've been devastated the times before that have failed but we gave ourselves a good few months gap before trying again each time. We did the plan where you sign up for so many goes. In our case was 3 then if they all fail get 50% of your money back. Emotionally it can be so hard. Only you know best just don't let it come bergen your relationship as that's the most important. If you don't decide to continue have you thought about getting a dog. I have 2 and I love them too pieces wouldn't be without them.

So sorry to hear this, its just crushing each time isn't it. None of it is fair. Its still very raw at the moment so take that time to scream, cry, shout whatever.. and then when you start to feel stronger again take some time to think about decisions and what to do next. There does seem to be an element of luck. Six fresh rounds didn't work for me (never enough to freeze) and yet other people get their BFP like your friend on round 1. One friend of mine had their two children on rounds 7 and 8 with literally their worst quality embryos - whilst all their perfect ones failed. another friend had her BFP on round 9! And nothing different was done... so if you want to find hope again there is some out there. But for now take some time. Sending you hugest hugs xx

Ugh this is utterly unfair. Sometimes you have to say it… life in our footsteps is just total bullshit. All these people that accidentally have kids and abuse them etc, then people like us who want nothing more than to give our love and lives. Just keep strong and you’ll know when enough is enough. Sometimes the brightest lights come from the darkest places. Hang in there hun.

Crossing everything that another try is the one to stick x 💕

DOCIreland profile image
DOCIreland

Im so sorry to hear this, I had the same a few days ago .Today was my test day but I tested early. You go through everything in your head to see what you have done wrong and why is life so unfair. It sucks no end. Think of you. ❤

Babymagic37 profile image
Babymagic37

Thank you so much to everyone’s replies and support - it honestly means so much knowing other people understand and get what I’m going through. I find this process so isolating, all our friends just seem to fall pregnant with hardly any effort and we’re here trying everything, spending thousands on processes that are so stressful and ultimately we have nothing to show for it at the end. It’s all just so unfair, I can’t even bring myself to see some friends anymore because they just don’t understand the enormity of what we’re going through. If I hear “relax and it’ll happen” one more time….they have no idea. I wish everyone the very best of luck with your journeys, I’m rooting for all of us, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make this all better for each of us xxx

Coles2020 profile image
Coles2020

Sending hugs and love 💕

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