failed fresh transfer : BFN today after... - Fertility Network UK

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failed fresh transfer

KHRAM profile image
18 Replies

BFN today after fresh transfer, feel so angry and frustrated don’t know how to cope.

I have two frozen embryos but I just feel hopeless, it was a good quality embryo that was transferred so if that didn’t work I have no hope for the others 😞

I’m under immunology specialist as well so I thought with all the treatments this would have worked.

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KHRAM profile image
KHRAM
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18 Replies
Doodlebug23 profile image
Doodlebug23

Hey, I’m feeling exactly the same as you right now. Another failed transfer with no real explanation. Sorry I don’t have any useful words apart from I’m totally on your page and here when you need to vent. X

KHRAM profile image
KHRAM in reply to Doodlebug23

thank you, the anger and frustration it’s so hard to manage it and to just get up and carry on with daily life 😞I have no motivation to do anything I’m at work and all I want to do is be in bed not slept 3 nights now. I’m here for you too! I think In this journey no one understand you unless they going through the same thing. I hope we both get to our happy ending.

Doodlebug23 profile image
Doodlebug23 in reply to KHRAM

Yea I totally understand. My head is all over the place but I am being distracted by work and I’m at home as couldn’t cope going into the office. Pm me any time x

WillowPark profile image
WillowPark in reply to Doodlebug23

So sorry guys, hope you are OK. This was me a few weeks ago so really feeling for you tonight ☹️ It is awful and so hard to accept when everything seems to have been perfect.

KHRAM profile image
KHRAM

thank you xx same to you

Positive20 profile image
Positive20

Hi sorry to hear you are both going through this. Unfortunately good high grade embryos aren’t a guarantee . I had multiple good grade embryos transferred with failed outcomes however it did eventually work but not with our best embryo. It is soul destroying and I have no advice to make it any better. Just be kind to yourself, treat yourself, focus on your future goals and positive thinking xx

MrsOrangejuice profile image
MrsOrangejuice

It's crushing and I'm sorry. We were unexplained infertility, early 30s and basically given a guarantee that IVF would work. But I responded weirdly and had a round cancelled then disappointing fertilisation. But still got what the embryologist said were the best embryos she'd seen, and with that and all the positive noises from the doctors, we thought it would just work. It did in a way, as I got a BFP, but turned out the HCG hadn't risen and ended in an early loss. Almost exact same thing happend on the next fresh transfer at a different clinic. I quizzed my consultant and asked him to go through every single option and test, and understand what was wrong if we had perfect embryos and no known issues. And he said it was just numbers, roughly one in three was his odds for a couple like us. So I had a FET with extra progesterone and that worked. Since had another fresh that ended in a PUL, a BFN on a FET and then a surprise natural pregnancy. So it's awful to have to keep going, I hated the idea of just throwing good embryos away without knowing what the problem was, and I do so wish I had been one of the stories where it worked first time and had avoided all the heartache, disappointment and 'what's wrong with me?' agonising, but ultimately I have one miracle and possibly another on the way and that's made all the pain a bit less acute. Your feelings are totally understandable right now and if you need a break, take one to reset, but please don't assume anything from one transfer, this whole process is so unpredictable and fraught, and the disappointments can floor you, but don't give up hope - you've got two frosties and that's brilliant x

KHRAM profile image
KHRAM in reply to MrsOrangejuice

Thank you so much, what you written does give me hope and I do keep telling myself that it will work eventually but it’s just hard right this moment to be positive. Thank you for telling your story so happy for your two miracles xx

Dinobaby05 profile image
Dinobaby05

Hi KHRAM, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Just know there are lots of us here to listen and support. 🤍I had a frozen transfer in August with a 4AA and everything was looking good until we got the BFN. I remember feeling really angry and frustrated as the clinic couldn’t tell me why it hadn’t happened for us. One nurse told me we were just unlucky and it was a ‘numbers game’, which not surprisingly, didn’t reassure me. My line manager also told me that at least I didn’t have a miscarriage and to look at that as a positive for trying again!!! I really struggled to get past the feelings of hopelessness and at one point, I didn’t think I would be strong enough to try again but here I am 1DPT! It helped accessing the clinic’s counselling service who were really good at supporting me to challenge my negative thoughts and someone on here gave me the advice of not thinking about the egg quality as if it was good enough to freeze, it will be good enough to transfer. I also find all the women on here who tell their stories really inspirational and it empowers me to keep going. You still have two embryos to try which is brilliant. Everything crossed for you. Xx

KHRAM profile image
KHRAM in reply to Dinobaby05

Thank you 🙏🏼

Eloquentia profile image
Eloquentia

It is really soul crushing when you get a BFN, I am very sorry that you are going through this. Take the time to grieve...I too thought after our first BFN that there was no hope because it was with our top quality embryo. But I was wrong, the second FET worked and my beautiful baby girl is sleeping next to me. Embryo grading is just a beauty contest, it does not tell you about the actual genetic quality of the embies, just their appearance. So don't despair, there is much hope for the other ones! I hope you find your sticky embie very soon :) xx

KHRAM profile image
KHRAM in reply to Eloquentia

Thank you ready this gives me strength to try again xxx so happy you got your baby girl xxx

Eloquentia profile image
Eloquentia in reply to KHRAM

IVF is an emotional roller coaster with a lot of pain and grief along the way...but the end destination is so worth it, so don't give up! But by all means, take your time to recover both physically and emotionally. We took a few months off IVF after our BFN, went on holiday, lived our old normal lives, it was very good for us! Good luck :) xx

Nabsal profile image
Nabsal in reply to Eloquentia

Agree with you I am also taking some months off after bfn 😭.

HoneyB11 profile image
HoneyB11

I got a BFN on my first cycle and felt a huge loss even though it never was… then suffered a miscarriage from a surprise natural conception the month after our failed ivf… but am now 5 weeks pregnant from my second cycle (despite being given odds of only 10% chance of success due to my low AMH and adenomyosis).

So do try and keep the hope - it’s a horrible, emotional and stressful journey but like us all I’m praying that it will all be worth it in the end 🙏 Xx

Nabsal profile image
Nabsal

yes it works defiently work please stay positive. We all are warriors here it’s really hard journey which needs lots of courage and stamina .

Cridog profile image
Cridog

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. We've had a failed fresh embryo transfer back in July and I was just so full of despair, anger, frustration, hopelessness. I still feel I haven't recovered yet and, although we have one embryo in storage, I feel I need to wait a bit more. We're also have unexplained infertility and the doctor said we can go with the FET any time, but I'm not anywhere near mentally prepared. I know it sounds massively cliche, but try to be kind to yourself. Wish you from all my heart to heal fast and that things will work out for you. Big hugs and much love!

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2

I’m am so sorry it didn’t work and natural to feel upset 😢 please don’t give up hope for your little Frosties though it’s so amazing that you have those too ready and waiting for you !!

My first fresh transfer didn’t work of a ‘perfect’ 5AA, 2 transfers later though and my frozen 4BC is now a crazy 2 year old so it really doesn’t mean anything that this one didn’t work when thinking about how the other embryos will go! And the ratings are just a beauty contest at a moment in time so if it’s good enough to be frozen it has every chance to be your miracle Xx

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