I didn’t know if I should post this but everyone here has always been so helpful and understanding on this site. I think I just want to let it out somewhere with people who understand the pain …
After all the trying, travelling to Greece during covid and 10 days quarantine, trouble getting time off work and having to tell work that I was going for ivf and going for donor transfer. I finally got my my BFP and for once it just felt like everything was going right for a change. I could breath and feel happy that this was ‘the one’ and it was my turn, finally. I had calculated my due date, fantasised about having a boy or a girl (didn’t care which) or even the prospect of having twins!
I went for my viability scan today, nearly 8 weeks, only to find out I have an ectopic pregnancy. I just broke down on the bed right there and felt crushed. I felt something was wrong when the sonographer kept looking around in silence. I was then told to go to A&E immediately after a doctor checked again. I spent most of today there and got told to go to EPU Monday to find out what the next steps will be… surgery, injection or will it resolve itself.
I am so heartbroken, so close and yet so far. It just hurts so much I don’t even know how to collect my thoughts or how to put it into words. This fertility journey can be so f*cking cruel and unfair, I still feel pregnant, my stomach is swollen and my boobs and I have that pregnant feeling. Come Monday it will all change to emptiness 💔💔💔
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BettyBe
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I am really sorry.I do not have any words to comfort you. I know there is nothing that helps, but I send you a big hug. I pray for you and for your little angel.
Your post breaks my heart, I know how you feel 😢 I have no advice, just want to tell you, whom ever been through ivf understand you…. Be kind to yourself and get help… I’m sending you lots of love.
Thank you Linda84co, it just hurts for what could have been.. if only the little one just implanted somewhere else, didn’t get lost going the wrong way 💔
Ow I’m so sorry 💔 this journey is so unfair and can be so cruel and challenging. There’s no magic words that I can say that will make you feel any better. You need to allow yourself to grieve, be angry, feel sad, shout, scream… let it all out. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself. Big hugs xx
Im so sorry ive been through an ectopic myself and its just awful we chose to try the injection to keep the tube and thankfully it did work but sometimes that doesnt just make sire you speak through all your
Options with the hospital - i know with the injection your not allowed to
Thank you my lovely. It’s a hard bloody journey. I do want to try again, i don’t want to lose my tube even if we are using donor. I hope it can resolve on its own. Was the injection effects painful? Did it take a long time for your cycle to return to normal? I think I need to wait 3 months anyway to get my body back to normal 🌺xx
It was a little painful when they did it and they made me wait at hospital for about 20 mins after but it was fine , it worked however they did warn me that depending on how far along you are sometimes it doesn't work first time so you require a 2nd dose and if that doesn't work they look at other options - after it worked i just had to be monitered till i bled again and i think they did bloods to to check my HCG had gone back to negative. (It was 7 years ago now) over all i didnt have many side effects really
Thanks for the reassurance. A&E said it looks quite small and I’m not that far gone, so hopefully that’s good in terms of treatment. They did an internal exam and I had no pain, so they were happy to send me home and wait til Monday to see the next steps. Hopefully I don’t lose a tube 🙏🏼 xx
You should be fine from what i remember methotrexate works best before a heartbeat is seen after that it can be more tricky to use & works so if small of she be fine.
Hang in there feel free to PM if you need to talk x
Oh no am so sorry for what you are going through is not easy to be pregnant and than finding out that things are not ok is heartbreaking 💔 sending you lots of love and hugs
Us ladies on this forum have definitely been through it! And the hope for a child makes us go through it all again! Thank you for your wishes, much appreciated 🌺xx
Thank you, I know lots of women on this site have been through the pain and worse. I just needed to vent someone and shout “why is it so f-ing unfair, why can’t it just bloody work for once” 🌺 xx
O darling. I'm so so sorry. It's just so unfair! Like you say to get to the amazing point of being pregnant to find out it's not meant to be.....it's heartbreaking. Give yourself time love to process everything and when and if your ready again....you can make a plan 😘 Xxx
Thank you, I’m trying to look forward and think about trying again and getting my body healthy when this is over. I’m not ready to give up yet! It’s another blow but we are willing to try again 🥰 xx
It’s absolute rubbish. I suppose now I just want it resolved so I can move on. I was enjoying the pregnant feeling before but now I just want it gone. Ladies on this site have definitely been through the rollercoaster of heartache, loss and getting their miracles also 💖 xx
So sorry to hear what your have been through, its so unfair but I'm glad your going to keep going, good for you!! You'll get there I'm sure. Give yiur body and mind a little break then give it all you got again. You can do this!! X
You will get there. It will all work out in the end. Everything happens for a reason and although we don't always understand why things are made so difficult for us, just think how wonderful it will be when each and every one of us on here and beyond gets to hold our precious babies. Our time is near just hold onto that x
I hope so! Thank you… I still have fight in me still… not ready to throw the towel in yet! Hope all the ladies going through heartache at the moment find some peace and strength through these difficult times, it’s not easy and straightforward for us 🌺 xx
Thank you. I think it’s more “I’ve come this far, I can’t stop now!” It’s stubbornness! And now we’ve moved to donor, it’s given me a new lease of hope! 🌺xx
I’m so sorry that you are going through this. It really is so unfair. I found out I had an ectopic when I went for my viability scan too. Heart breaking doesn’t even begin to describe the emotional turmoil from that day. Here for you if you have any questions. Sending love and strength x
Thank you, it really does feel so unfair, to get so far and with all hopes up and it all gets dashed away! I keep thinking of the morning and feeling confident it was either a single or twin pregnancy, that’s all I thought! 😪 xx
Thank you some much. It all happens for a reason… what reason I don’t know but hopefully we’re lucky with our next round. Just want to heal and try and get healthy for next time. I’m so swollen still with all the drugs and hormones 🌺 xx
I totally understand your feelings..ectopic journey is slightly challenging..at the moment, the important to be aware what attention your body needs to recover well..I’ve been through ectopic and had to go for emergency laparoscopy..trust me, your body will recover well and you will also become stronger mentally with each passing day..when I was in the same situation, I always felt that I should allow my body to recover well..take care of yourself…you are much stronger than you think you are..speak to someone about what you are feeling because that can also help to an extent..you are already expressing your thoughts here and this is the best place to do that..May you gain all the strength to face this situation and also slowly allow your body and mind to recover..always look forward to better things..that really helps..all the best 👍
Thank you Crazy_girl, it reassuring to hear as I’m waiting for the hospital to call this morning to go in. I just have to take one step at a time and see what happens today. Thank you for your kind words 🌺 xx
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Update - My Rainbow Baby
More heartache, more painful than before 😢
**Sensitive!** BFP 
In 2ww and risk of redundancy at work :( 
Ectopic Pregnancy.
