In late July we finally got our BPF after 1 failed FET and another round with zero fertilization. I couldn’t believe it and didn’t really until our first scan at nearly 8 weeks.
We were told I was pregnant with twins but that the 2nd baby was small with a slow heartbeat and we were told to prepare for the fact that it was unlikely to make it.
I tried to get my head round that and had realised it was unlikely. Yesterday we had our follow up scan at 9 weeks 6 days and I fully expected to only see 1 heartbeat. What I wasn’t prepared for was that both babies hearts had stopped beating.
Devastated and my world is in bits. My dream of being a Mum seem further away than ever. I’ll be 43 in March.
I’m waiting for an appointment with the EPU to discuss what’s next but as I’m so far along they’ve said it’s unlikely to come away naturally.
Does anyone have any advice as to what happens next? Or positive stories of what’s happened after something similar?
I know this may seem an odd question to ask but how quickly did people go again? I can’t get away from the fact I’ll be 43 in March and that my dream of being a Mum feels more and more unlikely. Thank you x
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Libsie3103
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I’m so sorry for your losses. I had two mmcs one at 8 and a half weeks and one at 10 weeks. I opted for a D and C with the first and medical management with the second. They both have their pros and cons which should be explained to you at your epu appointment. As for treatment obviously you’ll need to wait until you have no hcg left in your system which can take a couple of weeks after whichever option you choose. Our clinic then asked for three bleeds between treatments but speak to your clinic about that as it tends to vary. Good luck with everything xx
Oh Libsie, Im so very sorry! That is just heartbreaking fo you both. I cant offer any advice as I havent been as far along as you. Massive hugs at this sad time.xxx
I'm so very sorry this has happened 💔 my heart breaks for you. I know the pain all too well. I had a MMC in may when I was 11+2. It started the day before with pink spotting...I just knew something was wrong as I had 0 spotting up until this point.. but hoping it was going to be ok. It wasnt 😥 ended up in hospital where bleeding really started getting heavy and had a blood test and my hcg had dropped significantly so we knew I was miscarrying. They asked me if I wanted to miscarry naturally or take the vaginal pills which they said would speed the whole process up and I could stay in hospital and have morphine on tap. I was not offered a D&C At this point as they said it had already started and would be better to not have the OP if possible (and I think because it was over the weekend they were short staffed for surgery, I'm in little old New Zealand) all I'll say is I wish I was offered a D&C. Luckily I stayed in hospital for 2 days and had morphine every 2 hours if needed. There is a small risk with D&C scarring etc but I still would have opted for that. So personally I would take the D&C but of course that's your decision and do what's right for you.
I'm so so sorry this has happened 😓 there is nothing anyone can do or say to take away the pain away, but I hope you have good support from family and friends, you will need it. Take care of yourself and PM me if you need to chat or anything. Thinking of you at this devastating time 💔😓💕 xxx
I am so sorry for your loss, it's heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing your story - I think I am leaning towards a D&C but still waiting to have an EPU appointment and talk through the options. Mine is a "missed miscarriage" so I am waiting for it to all start and that's awful in itself. Appreciate your support, thank you xx
Thank you so much - I have never experience pain like it, I am sure it will get easier over time but right now I'm struggling to believe that. Sorry for your loss as well xx
Thank you so much. I can't believe it's happening, after the last 10 months I really thought this was our time. I've never felt pain like this before xx
Bless you darling. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. You’ve gone through so much and I can only imagine what it means to go through such a loss. I truly hope that one day peace and motherhood become yours. Condolences to your hubby too. I’m glad that through all the trials and the pain you’ve faced you still have each other. I really hope for happier times ahead for the both of you...x
I'm so sorry for my delayed reply. Thank you for your lovely message - I still can't believe this has happened, I really thought it was our time. Hopefully our time isn't too far away. Hope all's good with you? xx
So heartbreaking to hear your sad news 💔 I opted to let the process take place naturally after a mmc of 1 baby at 8 weeks, which took over 2 weeks to begin after stopping the meds, but thankfully was over quite quickly and not too painful. Sending you masses of love and strength at the worst of times 💕💕 xx
Thank you so much for your message and sorry for the delayed reply. Is such a tough decision to make and to know which is the best option. I've opted for a D&C after some advice from my Consultant xx
Sometimes just having made a decision makes things a little easier. Hope all goes as smoothly as can be and you can begin the process of healing physically and emotional from this xx
Am so sad to read this having miscarried one well I just can’t begin to imagine how it feels to lose 2 precious little ones.
I opted for the surgical option, I won’t lie it was awful wakening up and I had this awful feeling of emptiness. However we figured I had been through enough pain emotionally and it was the right option for us.
Am also 43 so can relate to how you’re feeling about the future but you have proved you can get pregnant so maybe you will try again when your ready.
Thank you so much for your reply and apologies it's taken me time to reply. I've opted for the surgical option as well. I couldn't face waiting longer for it to "happen", a week on I have no sign at all., Thank you for your encouragement re my age as well - I'm hoping in the future it will be OK, now is the time to heal physically and emotionally. Take care Hun xx
Its so sad, I’m so sorry. I’m 43 and have had a MMC at 6 weeks with D&C. I also had a few chemicals. I’m trying again. Listen, here is an inspiring story. I know two different ladies who both had mc at 10 weeks and 12 weeks then both went on to have a healthy baby after that. One lady was 38 the other was 43. Don’t give up. I’m sorry for your losses.
Thank you so much for your reply and for the encouragement, it means so much. Throughout this tough journey it's encouraged me to hear of others who have come out the other side smiling - reminds me it is possible. Sorry to hear about your MMC - wishing you lots of luck for the future xx
It certainly is, it deals some cruel blows. As if this journey wasn’t hard enough. D&C on Wednesday and then time for physical and emotional healing xx
It can be unfair and completely cruel. Thinking of you, love and light. Healing time sounds like a plan. Maybe plan an escape somewhere for a couple days, if you can swing it. You’ll get through this. Xx
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