💔 all over, once again : Can’t believe... - Fertility Network UK

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💔 all over, once again

Emlou87 profile image

Can’t believe I’m writing this… at 12+4 I miscarried and lost our baby. Not only was that horrific enough, but I lost so much blood I almost died. My partner had to witness me with my eyes rolling back in my head and passing in and out of consciousness with blue lips. Needless to say, it was the scariest thing we’ve both ever been through. After emergency surgery to remove the pregnancy, I’m now out the woods and on the mend physically. God knows how long this will take mentally.

We’re taking time out now and have booked 4 breaks/holidays to give us nice things to look forward to. It’s time to put having our baby on the back burner and spend time on us again, making memories and having fun.

But before I go, the burning questions running round my mind…

I stopped all my medication at 12 weeks on the Saturday, miscarried 4 days later. Could I have stopped medication too early and that caused me to miscarry? Could the medication have ‘held off’ the miscarriage? I find it too much of a coincidence that it happened just 4 days later. I had a growing belly and I’d see the heartbeat at 7wks and again at 9wks.

If you’ve read this far, thank you and good luck wherever you are at in your journey. We’ll be back in April/May after a well deserved break in the Caribbean where I’ll be sipping cocktails at 10 in the morning because it is TOTALLY acceptable after what we’ve been through, right?! ❤️💔

33 Replies

Oh I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. Good idea to plan time for R&R.

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking. Mind yourself and your partner, enjoy your well deserved time out and be kind to yourself ❤️

So sorry for your loss💔 recharge and be kind to yourself 💕💕 all the what if, we did this or that won't do any of us any good on this journey 😭 it's one of the hardest journeys too go through. 😔 take time and grieve😘 you will get your 🌈 baby. Xx

I'm so sorry to hear this. What a terrible traumatic experience. I think that your question is really one for a medical expert (I'm not). What I read about the use of progesterone is that by 12 weeks a baby creates all the progesterone it needs. Therefore artificial supplementation doesn't make a difference to the survival of the baby. Progesterone does increase the possibility of a missed miscarriage because due to high levels your body does not shed the lining of the womb. This is why when a missed miscarriage is determined a woman is told to stop all medication and in cases a miscarriage occurs without further medical interventions. However from what I understand, that this occurs in 4 days is really soon. I don't think that it is likely to happen in this way.

I have had two early miscarriage so my experience is different than yours but I did find myself trying to work out what I had done for it to happen. Looking back I think that this made everything even more painful. Miscarriages are horrific but they are really out of our control.

The cocktails sound like a very good idea xxx

O my goodness. Im so so sorry for your loss. I've just read your profile and you must have been through a devastating time with all your losses. Just absolutely heartbreaking. I really hope you have lots of support. I'd perhaps write all these q's down for your clinic and tackle them when you feel strong enough. None of us here are medically trained and would just be speculating but I understand your concerns. Most ppl are told to come off meds at the latest 12weeks as placenta should take over by then but then everyone's situation is different. And absolutely get on the cocktails at 10am on your holiday in the Caribbean!!!! 1000000% I hope you are able to enjoy your time together on your holiday and concentrate on each other. Big hugs Xxx

Emlou87 profile image
Emlou87 in reply to Lovemylion

Thank you. Luckily I have the most supportive partner who is my rock. ❤️ Xx

My heart is completely broken for you! I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going to! You have a long road of healing ahead of you so enjoy those holidays! Be kind to your poor body, it is trying so hard! No loss is easy, but what you’ve been through sounds traumatising and I just hope you’re able to overcome the trauma xxx

I’m so so sorry to hear this. Absolutely devastating 💔- and after everything you have already been through - I can’t begin to imagine how tough that must be. Just wanted to send love and hugs. Take care and hold each other tight. I hope you can enjoy those Caribbean cocktails while you take time to heal ❤️xx

I’m so so sorry to read this, you’ve been through so much trauma. Look after yourself and take time to heal, a change of scenery will help and just let yourself grieve as much as you need to. Grief has to pass through you but you will be so resilient from this life experience. Lots of love xxx

So sorry for your loss. That experience seem really scary therefore taken a break is well needed. I stop my progesterone at 10 weeks and nothing seem to went wrong because i think after certain weeks the body produces its own. But if you felt like that is what contributed to your miscarriage i would so suggest next time you test your progesterone level before stopping your meds. My doctor made me go a full day without progesterone then i went in the next day and test and the levels were where he wanted them so i stop at 10 weeks. Hope you guys enjoy your vacation 😊

Emlou87 profile image
Emlou87 in reply to Mellyboo111

I defo want my progesterone levels tested next time! X

My heart ache for you 😭 I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need to heal. Sending so much love and strength xx

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, my heart aches for the pain you and your husband have endured. I hope the break will give you much needed time to recover and you definitely deserve those cocktails in the Caribbean. Sending you lots of love xxx

Em, I have no words, that is a heartbreaking and shocking experience for you and your partner, I am so sorry for your loss 💔 thank goodness you are still here 🧡 enjoy those cocktails 🍹🍹🍹 and good luck for next year xx

I’m so sorry, my heart goes out to you both, sending you the biggest hug xxx💕

I'm so so so sorry for your loss and such a traumatic experience. I hope you will heal as soon as possible from this and that in the longer term it will make you stronger. With regards to the progesterone, please please please don't blame yourself. We are all told to stop at 12 weeks, some a lot sooner. I did too and my pregnancy continued. Sorry, nobody wants to hear about pregnant people after having just miscarried but I only say this because I don't want you to feel any guilt on top of the overwhelming pain you must feel. It could be a number of things, including rotten fckng luck but it wasn't the progesterone. Sending you virtual hugs and best of luck for the future. ❤

Emlou87 profile image
Emlou87 in reply to Bella_Bee

This is what I needed to know. There is clearly something that isn’t right though and hopefully the doctors can figure it out before we try again x

Not sure if you want to hear this but I stopped my meds quite early before 12 week scan as I couldn’t take them anymore they were getting to me to have to keep doing them anyway my pregnancy continued so I don’t think personally that you did anything wrong. I am sorry for your loss and it’s great you have things to look forward to ! good to heal the mind x

Fizzbip profile image
Fizzbip in reply to pebble7890

Yes, my clinic stops them at 10 weeks even. I was getting so stressed about that but then I had a missed miscarriage anyways while still on them. I'm so so sorry Emlou87 x.

So so sorry for your loss and what you’ve been through. Definitely take that time to grieve and focus on you and your partner. I would recommend accessing some counselling too if possible, it really helped me xx

There are no words for what happened to you. I'm so sorry. Like the other comments, everyone is told to stop at 12 weeks, so it couldn't have been that? You have done the right thing by booking the break, no one deserves it more than you. You will get through this and be back here in no time. ❤️Xx

Huge hugs to both of you. This is such a difficult time. Please make sure you are able to talk to someone whether it be each other or a councillor. My heart aches for you guys xxx

I am so sorry, no one deserves to go through what you have been through xx

You poor girl. Sending love and strength. Yes it’s absolutely the right thing for you to be sipping those cocktails and enjoying your marriage. ❤️❤️Xxx

Awww lovely I'm so so sorry for your loss and for the fact you were so poorly!! My heart goes out to you both. You absolutely deserve lots of rest and recuperation in the sun! You sip those cocktails and try to let yourselves heal together. Massive hugs.xxx

Hi Emlou87. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I just wanted to give you my experience. I have had 2 missed miscarriages found at scans whilst I was on progesterone and once I stopped the medication I started bleeding after 4 days both times. For both of mine the progesterone definitely held off the miscarriage so I guess it’s definitely possible the same thing has happened with you. I’m 15 weeks now and came off progesterone this time with no problems xx Take care of yourself xx

Oh dear that must have been so traumatic for you. Well I had a miscarriage post stopping the progesterone at 9 weeks . I personally learnt from my experience that somehow my body was not producing enough progesterone. So in the one that I carried my twins to 35 weeks . I requested my gynae to continue my progesterone post 12 weeks . And he agreed with me that there’s not a very significant harm in doing so . And that out my mind at ease a bit . But obviously everyone is different. I would suggest take holidays freshen up ur mind and write a list of questions u want to ask to ur consultant for your next cycle . And if possible go for pgd as it makes sure that there are no genetic issues with the embryo . But having said that I have to also say there is no guarantee for any cycle and there can be so many reasons for a miscarriage. But the key is to keep trying and keep asking questions. All d best xx

I'm so sorry for your loss. That sounds absolutely horrific for you both to go through. Your holidays sound perfect and I agree that sipping cocktails at 10 in the morning in the Carribbean is completely acceptable / necessary. Xxx

I am so sorry for your loss, you have been through so much. Sending you hugs ❤ I can understand you wondering about the progesterone and probably best to ask your doctor, just to put your mind at rest. But I don't think stopping the meds would be a factor, based on the fact they say natural progesterone production has taken over by that stage. So please don't blame yourself, you need to concentrate on you and your mental health now, you are right to go and have some fun.I hope you enjoy your breaks and you deserve those cocktails anytime of the day xx

I am so sorry to hear this ❤️ I also had 2 miscarriages, one natural and one after IVF. The second was a month ago. Sending you love and strength at this difficult time.

I can’t say how sorry I am that you had to go through this. It’s unfair and wishing you the best recovery with cocktails on the beach. You deserve it all! Look after yourself and do what you makes happy. ❤️💕❤️💕

So sorry to hear what you’ve been through, sending you lots of love. Enjoy those trips, sounds like they will be exactly what you need right now xxx

So sorry for your loss, I know it’s hard but try not to think about the what if’s, it will just torture you x

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