looking for some words of wisdom

Hey everyone 💕 hope you’re all ok. I’ve not posted in a while but really hit rock bottom again so turning to you lovely lot for some positive stories to keep me going.

I’ve been TTC 6 years now. Have endometriosis and low ovarian reserve for my age, I’m 37 (38 this year) husband had a history of male factor but recent tests and DNA frag have been good.

We did 3 rounds of ICSI in 2023, which all failed - combo of poor fertilisation and bad PGTA results (all aneuploid). I then went to have endo excision surgery in May of last year which resulted in my first natural pregnancy (first positive ever!) - sadly to end with a MMC and D&C at 8 weeks.

My period didn’t come back til December and I needed a hysterocopy, then last month we had another miracle and fell pregnant naturally again (!!) - only to find out my HCG is rising at only 31% - ectopic or another MC on the horizon.

I think my issue is egg quality and I just don’t know when to give up. My body has FINALLY realised how to get pregnant but now the issue is staying pregnant 😟

Has anyone been through multiple miscarriage due to poor egg quality and then gone onto find that good egg? Is there hope or should I consider donor? 6 years is breaking me and I don’t want to give up. Sorry for the story time 💔😣 helping me kill time while waiting for EPU to call xxxxx

[Millbanks]

Oh love, my heart aches for you.

I don't have much advice for you, as I've never fallen pregnant naturally. But I do think egg quality was an issue for us for a bit. I went to see a fertility nutritionist and she gave me some excellent tips, and our subsequent egg collection yeilded some better quality embryos.

I'm not saying by any means that this a silver bullet, but I do think there are things you can do to improve egg quality. As you get older the eggs need more energy to divide correctly, and things like NAC and Ubiquinol can help that. Also loads of antioxidents to give them the best chance possible. Getting your husband on the same should help too.

It frustrating that we don't know why mmcs happen because you're always left wondering if it's you / the embryo / egg / sperm .... I had one last year and it was a PGT-A normal embryo and the consultant just said - these things happen. So I don't think it is always a quality issue either! One thing I read is that even if the embryo is perfect / your uterus is spot on / the embryo impants, it can still not have enough energy inside to continue to grow. Which is also frustrating but makes me think it's just one of those things.

Its statistically likely that if you did another FET it would work - but you end up putting all your faith in that statistic which can be hard too.

Ugh, I feel for you xxx

[Hidden in reply to Millbanks]

Hey Millbanks, thank you so much. Before my final round I went all in with supplements and nutrition and so did my husband - we managed 6 blastocysts (most ever!) all graded 5AA-5AB plus one 5BC, we had all but the 5BC tested and they were all aneuploid 🥹 so all we have left is a frozen 5BC untested. These were frozen when I was 36 so I can’t help but feel things are getting worse with age and the fact I had an Endometrioma removed from my ovary last year (likely lowered AMH). Sorry I sound like a negative Nancy - wondering if I throw in the towel and move to donor, or just try one more time naturally and pray for 3rd time lucky. Xxx

[Millbanks in reply to Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear that - just the most heartbreaking phone call to receive.

If it were me (and this is only my opinion) I would probably opt to try one more round OE. The thing is that each cycle is different, each collection of eggs and sperm are different and just because you didn't get any euploids on one round doesn't mean you won't on the next one. However I totally get that you would feel negative about this - I would too.

I think ultimately it depends on how much you want any baby to be your own genetics. I have several friends who went down the donor route and they have all said that by growing the baby inside you, you bond, and when they are born you forget immediately. And don't forget that your baby will be grown and nourished by your own body, and there is transference of your DNA to them in that process too. It's actually funny how many people say that one of my friend's babies looks just like her, when he was a donor egg.

We were lucky enough to get pregnant on our 6th transfer and when he was born there was a moment when both my husband and I looked at each other - clearly thinking the same thing - is he actually ours?? Has there been a mix up at the clinic? He looked nothing like either of us! So even when they are genetically yours, doesn't mean there is that instant bond...

My point being that I don't think it really matters how you become a family - families come in all different shapes and sizes - what matters is your happiness at the end of it all.

xxx

[Endofitall]

I am really sorry. I’ve been there with an ectopic conceived post op and it’s just 💔I really hope now you’ve had excision surgery and getting back to IVF you’ll have success. As you’ve said at least there’s signs of implantation now post op. It can take a few goes at our age now to find the golden egg and I think the limiting factors are coping with the turmoil of IVF and finances. Hope you’re okay and EPU had a plan. If you ever want to DM then inbox is open xx

[Hidden in reply to Endofitall]

Gosh I am so so sorry this happened. Did you have slow rising beta too? What symptoms did you have? They’re telling me it’s too early to see and the EPU hasn’t even contacted me yet! 😓 I’m 4+4, tests still VERY positive and no pain or bleeding. X

[Endofitall in reply to Hidden]

That is early and it could be that it is just slow rising but still viable. But it’s a horrible limbo. Didn’t end well for me but that isn’t to say there aren’t stories out there of things turning out ok. My HCG was low and slow. Just about rising acceptable amount (i can’t remember the % they use) between 4-5 weeks. I started to have this odd brownish like prune juice bleeding after I did any walking or anything a bit more strenuous around 5-6 weeks. And then developing pain left side and pain when going for a poo at 6 weeks. I had a clear ectopic pregnancy in a tube on scan by EPU at 6 weeks. They didn’t bother to scan me sooner. We tried expectant management to see if resolved itself (I was still only just a few weeks down the line from my endo op) but then had rupture at 8 weeks so emergency lap. I hope your story turns out very differently. Sending hugs xx

[Twiglet2]

aww lovely I’m so sorry to hear about your current pregnancy levels rising slowly 😢 I’ve had this quite a few times and also had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks when the heartbeat stopped and slow growth and soooo many chemicals! I am pregnant now (36 weeks) with own eggs at 42 and I did just keep going and going (no PGTA) and finally seemed to have got a lucky one so it can be done! I took 600mg of coq10 in ubiquinol form for over 3 months before the egg collection but that would also help for trying natural of you are not already on it 🤗 I wonder if GP would also consider prescribing you some progesterone to support natural pregnancies as well since you’ve had a few losses? Xx

[Hidden in reply to Twiglet2]

Heya Twiglet, huge congrats on your pregnancy, it really does give me hope ❤️ And sorry you’ve had such a rough journey too. I was perscribed progesterone but I had my levels checked early and they were 76 which I think is good for a natural pregnancy so I didn’t want to ‘mess with things’, now I feel I should have? But then if this is a bad egg, it would have only dragged things on longer maybe. I really struggle with making decisions and feel my clinic aren’t overly supportive of natural pregnancies. Once I know what’s happening with this pregnancy (hope it doesn’t drag on!!) I will get back on the supplements 🤞🏼 thanks again and good luck with arrival of your little one xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah sounds like progesterone was fine and I think I had the exact same thing (as my progesterone was all sorted too) the embryos themselves just weren’t the ones developing as they should and was a case of keep on trying to find that ‘one’! Thanks and thinking of you Ive been there a few times and the limbo part you just don’t want to drag on 💜 sending you a big hug! Xx

[Doodlebug23]

No advice really, but I went straight to egg donor as I just wanted my baby and that gave me the best solution to get there asap. No regrets.

[Hidden in reply to Doodlebug23]

Thank you Doodlebug, I’ve been following your journey and delighted for you. I’ve been looking into the refund guarantee programme - not sure if I’d qualify? I didn’t for ivf but wondering if donor is different x

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Hidden]

I wouldn’t qualify for it unless went donor. It’s worth asking x