I can't believe I'm writing this again seriously.
So as you know I had my first beta positive, 2nd beta was fine. Yesterday I was meant to be 5+ 2 and I had an appointment for a scan. Doc performed the scan and we saw this beautiful nice sac with the embryo in it, nice thick walls surrounding the sac and doc was very happy with it. And I'm like oh yes this time everything will be fine....
Fast forward to last night. As I'm lying on the sofa I felt these intense cramps and lower back pain and in my head I'm like "oh no, no, no I know this feeling" and two hours later it started.... Fresh blood with clots and terrible cramps throughout the whole night.
Just back from a scan and the sac is open on one side and going slowly slowly . I've been given two days bed rest,an extra injection of progesterone and I won't take Clexane and aspirin. Another scan on Monday which for me will be to just confirm the obvious.....
Its like a bl.dy joke I swear,like there is a curse and I feel like I will never manage to carry a healthy pregnancy. I can't stay pregnant more than 5 weeks, so how on Eart I'll manage to stay pregnant for 9 months??? Starts to feel like mission impossible ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I think that's actually my first really negative post but this time I have no positivity in me at the moment. I just want to run away and hide from everyone but instead I'm usrrounded by the whole family and I can't deal with the sad faces. I know they love my very much but I just want to be alone ...
Thank ou all for always being here for me. Lots of love to you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Klndmr
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Oh no hun, so sorry 😔 So unfair, I can’t believe it! Have you even done the KIR-HLAC genotyping test? It would be worth it. Anyway a friend of mine did 18 transfers and she is 20 weeks now. Today is hard but try to stay positive. Sending you a massive hug ❤️
I can feel the pain in your words and I'm so sorry to read them. It is the cruelest most heartbreaking journey we find ourselves on and especially going through layer upon layer of loss and sorrow. I'm sorry ❤️
Its like a never ending story for most of us isn't it. If it's not one thing it's another. But what can we do, nothing really but crack on when we are ready ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I've got all my fingers crossed for you btw 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
Damn right the journey seems never ending and it is accompanied by the worst feelings and fears. You've hit the nail on the head in that if it's not one thing it's another. Thinking of you ❤️
I'm so so sorry love. Had a little cry for you. It's just so unfair and makes me so angry. Don't worry about not feeling positive. You have every right to feel angry with the world right now. Allow yourself anything that might make you feel a tiny bit better, and if it's space away from others you need just let them know. Thinking of you and sending love xxxxx
Thank you ever so much! I think once I get back home and spend some time by myself in my own place I'll be better and probably will be planning next steps. Please don't cry you need to stay calm and positive right now ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰 Lots of love your way ❤️❤️❤️
Yes, you've definitely earned a few duvet days when you get home. Sending hugs your way and hoping your lovely doctors come up with a new, amazing plan for next time xxxx
this is so unfair hun I always come on now and then to see if you update anything and I’m really sad to see this 😞 heartbroken for yous you are so strong and I really hope one day it works out for yous ❤️Xx
Thank you ever so much! It's like a joke, one day is good news and the next day bad news, every time the same thing over and over again. But nothing to do, let's see what the next step will be ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I cannot believe what I'm reading. I'm so so sorry. I'm completely shocked and I'm just a stranger. I cant begin to comprehend how you are feeling. It's like you can't catch a lucky star. I'm so sad for you. I understand the sad faces around you. It's like you don't have the energy to cope with their grief, never mind your own. You need to get some space. It's not the time for thinking about it but your resilience will reign and better days are ahead. But for now, just breathe. That's all you need to do for the moment..just breathe. Take one hour at a time, or less if it suits you better. And when you can, take the time to grieve..don't ignore it. Be in it and eventually, the heartaches will soften. Everyone of us here is thinking of you today and wish nothing but light towards you and your partner.x
I did have like a two and a half hours cry last night on my own before I've told hubby what was going on. I always find it grieving by myself first makes things tiny bit easier to deal with afterwards. My eyes are like little puffy cushions 🙈🙈🙈🙈 Thank you for your very kind words ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Hope is all going well with you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
😢 I’m so so so so sorry. I felt the no no no as I started to read. It’s just so so cruel. I’m surprised this is your first proper negative post when you’ve been through so much, you’re such a warrior. Allow yourself the grief and lock yourself away if you want. I’m giving you the biggest virtual hug I can 🫂🫂🫂❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss lovely. This journey can be so cruel. I don’t have any words of wisdom or advice but just wanted to send you all of my love ❤️
Ive just locked myself in my room with my iPad and Disney plus. In all honesty all I want now right now is a glass of wine and a cigarette but I'll give it another two days before I do that, don't wanna drink while I'm still on meds 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 Hope you are well ❤️❤️❤️
oh no I can’t believe am reading this this is so unfair how many heart break can one take this so so sad and unfair am really sorry for what you all are doing though please don’t give up hope as long as there is life there is hope you just have to hold on sending you a lot of love and hugs
Thank you! Not giving up just I let myself to have one really really dark moment to get everything out and to make myself ready to move on! 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m heartbroken reading your post love 😢 Please do whatever you need to do to grieve and put yourself first. Just let them know you need some space, they’ll understand. I’m so sorry again and thinking about you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ This isn’t the end xx
Thank you! One good thing is I love myself a lot and in situations like that I just want everything to be clear and over asap if it's not going to work so I can move on and start planning again 🙈❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Hope you are well
Take your time to grief and if you need to take time out for yourself awayfrom your family. They are so supportive of you and I am sure they'll understand!
Thank you ever so much! Once it's all confirmed and I can move on and return home I'll feel much better and ready to start planning again ❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰 Hope is all going well with you ❤️❤️❤️
I can't believe I am reading this, life is just too cruel. I am so sorry lovely.
You definitely need your own space to try and come to terms with this and grieve. Family are very well meaning but sometimes we just need to be on our own (with hubby) to try and process things, sometimes the sympathy makes it so much worse.
I feel like you need maybe another opinion about what is going on? I just don't understand how things can be so good then change so quickly, it just feels so wrong and there has to be a fix for you. You will get your rainbow I promise. No need for positivity. Had a little cry for you. Sending you so much love xx
I did have a two and a half hours cry last night before I've faced giving the news to hubby who was out with his friends. I did let him have his time out 🙈 I also needed my own space to grieve before I face the family and let them now of what's happening. My consultant was off today but he arranged for me to be seen by their senior professor and he was like in disbelief as well of how things can change so significantly overnight. My guess is he will now get involved in my case and they will think of a solution together. All I can think of is that we don't make good embryos together 🙈🙈🙈🙈 But of course I will leave this to the doctors let's see what happens on Monday ❤️❤️❤️❤️
and you don't cry! Right now you need to be calm happy and relaxed! That's all I want from you my lovely Daisy ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰 Lots of love and hugs your way
So sorry to read this. You do NOT need to be positive right now. You just need time to grieve. There are few words that will make you feel better other than a lot of people are thinking of you and sending hugs xx
Thank you! What would make me feel better right now is a very large glass of sauvignion blanc 😂😂😂😂 but I guess I'll have to wait until Monday for them to confirm what we've already know 🙈🙈🙈🙈 All the best for your transfer Hun! 🥰🥰🥰🤞🤞🤞🍀🍀🍀🍀🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
You have that glass when you can and get as many people involved in your case as you possibly can too. Sing from the roof tops! You want your consultant, senior professor and everyone else reviewing your case to see if there is anything they can do moving forwards 🤞🤞xx
I fully trust my consultant and I've seen how he has worked with me and his other patients, and he truly feel terrible when things like that happened . In all honesty I believe there wasn't anything else he could of done more with this transfer he's been brilliant from start up until now. I'm sure him and the old professor will come up with something 🤗🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
oh babe I’m so sorry this whole journey is so unfair for some of us. Please try and stay positive, reading this makes me feel the pain and heart ache. Not a lot I can say I was in same hot few months ago I’m still angry and upset but as you know time will heal us and we will be stronger for going through all this. I was happy for you reading your other posts can’t believe how cruel the universe can be sometimes. Sending you lots of virtual hugs and love ❤️❤️
Its definitely so so so unfair for some, it's just a never ending story seriously can even imagine me carrying a healthy pregnancy it's just always expecting it all to last for maximum of 5 weeks and that's it. The wors thing is I don't get upset anymore but very very very angry at how unfair things are. But what can we do, crack on and move on with a new plan with the hope things will improve. Much love and hugs your waytl too ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m the same didn’t even get upset or cry last two fails just angry with the universe. Yeah we crack on but it never gets easier does it? I’m still angry and still haven’t considered a new plan thought I would just give up but then something happens and that’s when you makes me think maybe one more time, and that was me last weekend. We just need to get up dust ourselves off and do it again when we are ready. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery ❤️🩹❤️❤️❤️
I am devastated to hear this news 🥲 I am truly very sorry your going through another loss when everything looked so promising .
It’s so bloody unfair & cruel , you deserve happiness & we are all rooting for you
You take the time to process this & I hope you get some space from the family. There are times like this when you just want to be alone. & positivity can take a run & jump for now!!! Sending love ❤️
I will be lightning a candle this evening for baby loss awareness in memory of my daughter & for all the babies gone too soon you will be in my thoughts xx
We all deserve all the best! And I still believe sooner or later it will happen! I will light a candle to and will think of you and your daughter ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Sending you much love and hugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so so sorry to read this! There are just no words. It sucks beyond belief and I'm not at all shocked you don't feel positive. I'm not sure anyone could under the circumstances. You don't deserve this and I am truly sorry for this loss and all your previous losses 💔
Please take care as best you can and do what you feel you need to do to grieve and process. Sending you love and a big hug xxx
Thank you ever so much for your lovely words! Once it's all confirmed and I can start planning next steps I will feel much better ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Best of luck with OTD hope you share some good news 🤞🤞🤞🤞🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I can imagine, I'm the exact same when it comes to getting on with next steps. I'm routing for you so much. You absolutely deserve some good fortune. Thanks for the luck! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
I have tears in my eyes reading your post 😥😥😥My heart really breaks for you, lovely. I am sending you the biggest of hugs. You are such an incredible, amazing and brave woman!!! I will also light a candle tonight for all the babies gone too soon and will be thinking of you. All my love ❤️xxxxxxx
Its crazy isn't it I was given everything I could ever think of and still got the same outcome. That's my thoughts too, we have two embryos I will ask to get them tested andI think best will be to do another egg collection and test all the embryos we manage to make and then think about further transfers.
But first things first, time for myself to recover mentally and lose some weight 🙈❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Lots of love your way
There are no words to take away that pain and one human can take only so much. I feel your anger. It is so justified and so unfair. I have been there, like you, crying for hours and just wanting to be alone.
But you are not alone and you will come out fighting; as always.
However long it takes and however you get there, you know the end will be worth it.
I really think PGS testing and even asking the doctor about mitochondria transfer are two next options to explore ❤️
thats my next plan anyway to talk about pgs testing and see if they will test our last two embryos, and also maybe have another EC and test so all possible embryos from it. Let's see what doc says on Monday x 🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️
i was on a very low dose Prednisone 4 mg a day, increased to twice a day after transfer. My lupus and antibodies and blood clotting disorders tests an everything came back normal. I had 4 lots of intralipids this time. So let's see what the new plan would be ❤️
Same thing, planning has kept me sane in the last years that's my way of carrying on too. I try to close this page as soon as possible and just move on ❤️❤️❤️
Don't really know what to say as everyone else has said already...
Sending you biggest virtual 🫂 🤗 sweety and have faith in God and keep believing it will definitely happen for all of us,I know it is easier said than done
I hope you take out time to feel all sorts and in the end you decide whatever is best to you...
Thank you so much for your lovely words! I do have believe even more than I ever imagined I have and I believe with all my heart our time will come too! I'm already prepared with my next plan and will discuss this with the consultant on Monday 😂😂 😂😂😂🤗🤗🤗🙈🙈🙈 Hope you are feeling better 🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Incomplete miscarriage have been confirmed. There is still some tissue left but is normal cause I did not stop medication. So I'm flying back home today, he wants me to get checked next week so I'll have to phone EPU and explain the situation. I'm sure it will be fine as I'm under the recurrent miscarriage clinic so they can't refuse to see me. Sooo that's it really Infertility 8 Me 0, so lets hope that's the last one 😁🤗🍀🤞🙏
So sorry about that sweety💕 I am sure things will get better and as they say things happen for a reason,God has definitely thought the bestest for us all..😍 just be hopeful as you are always and take really good care and as you feel good take out time with your hubby and go on a spa or a dinner date which can make you feel relax and cozy...
I am still waiting my periods to show as I start I should start with my cycle
I’m so so sorry. Take your time and don’t pressure yourself to stay positive at the moment - get all those emotions out so you can get them out of the way, and then you can decide on next steps. Thinking of you, wish I could give you a big hug right now xxx
I did have a two and half hours cry last night, I needed it to prepare myself of facing hubby and the family. I always like to look strongerthan I am. I'm giving myself 6 months break max and will be on it again 🤗🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️ When is your next FET?
I know how you feel, I’m exactly like this too, always want to appear stronger than I am but I feel it does more harm than good. Perfectly ok to just curl up and cry even if no one around you gets it. I think a mental (and physical) break is a good idea because of all the hormones too.
My next FET is November so I’m going for my baseline scan in a few weeks’ time. Not too optimistic to be honest, it’s not the best grade and is a day 6, but I know I’ll always wonder what if! It’s a never ending rollercoaster xxx
So sorry hun 💔💔 I know it's so hard right now but you will get there. Don't give up. I'm about to go into my 6th egg retrieval and 15th embryo transfer. Sending love x
Awwww 15th ❤️ I wish you with all my heart for this one to be the one! Enough is enough, it's time for happiness! We all deserve it so much! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
aww lovely I’m so sad this is happening to you and also a bit angry at how cruel this journey is being to you! It just feels so unfair 😞 There is defo no need for you to be positive right now you must feel so sad, hurt, angry, scared and much more but yeah please don’t feel you need to be postive or put on a brave face for your family. I am here if you need someone to talk to or vent to and I promise you don’t need to be positive xxxx
Thank you ever so much for your lovely words! Everyone on here is so comforting and always makes me feel so much better! I am extremely angry but also ready to start with a new plan as I believe sooner or later the problem will be solved! We all so deserve this!!! Hope you are well ❤️❤️❤️
Its so hard to keep going but we always do it! We always pick ourselves and crack on with whatever life throws at us. Sooner or later we will defeat that bi..ch infertility 🥰 I love saying that! When are you starting your next cycle?
I don’t think we are going to do another cycle …. Just feel as they aren’t willing to change anything and have had 8 transfers is there any point ? I pushed for steroids as so many people on here have said that was the answer for them but they said no .
I think we may go down the adoption route but even that looks so hard
I am so sorry...the path of infertility and loss is one of the hardest journeys us women sadly endure. There are no words. Please be kind to yourself and try to take extra care x
Thank you! You yourself have been through hell of a journey omg! It's unbelievably unfair, heartbreakingbut what can we do isn't it? I did have NK testing in UK and Turkey, we had genetic tests, and every possible test I can think of. The only thing we haven't done is PGS testing. We are having an appointment tomorrow and will discuss future steps ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Love and positive vibes your way xxx ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. Sending you so much love and care your way. Have you tried ever pgs testing embryos? After 7 miscarriages that’s how I got my angel. ❤️❤️❤️
I thought about it with our last EC but we didn't do it, we have two more embryos left from this lot so I'm thinking if we should test them or just give it another try. Or have another EC in the spring and test our two frosties and any embryos we get from the new EC.
I cannot believe this , your post literally took my breath away 💔. I am so sorry that you are going through this . I know you will get your happy ending, it’s just so much to go through to get there but we women are determined and we keep fighting 💪🏻. Please be kind to yourself as what your dealing with is beyond devastating ❤️❤️. Sending so much love and strength your way ❤️. Xx
Thank you ever so much! I do believe with all my heart we will get our miracles sooner or later! We won't stop fighting isn't it? 🥰❤️ Hope you are doing well ❤️❤️❤️
just wanted to say I’m so sorry please be kind to yourself ❤️ It’s so unfair,I’m currently in my 2ww from my 8th transfer not feeling positive though after all the heartbreak.
Honestly there are no words. Heartbroken for you and sending the biggest hugs. Take care and take what you need right now - your loved ones will understand
Thank you! They are quite understanding thank God but they just worry too much for me and try to comfort me in any possible way ❤️❤️❤️ Hope everything is going great with you! 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
Im so very sorry sweetheart.💔 What a hell of a time you are having, totally unfair. You're allowed to feel down, disappointed and disheartened....it totally normal. Take it easy for now, your strength will come back as will your positivity. Massive hugs and lots of love as always!
You are just a beautiful amazing young lady, your strength is unbelievable. Another shitty chapter in this shitty IVF headf@ck......you are an absolute warrior!! Enjoy that wine, you deserve it, hope you get lots of doggy hugs and licks/kisses.🤗😘🥰xxxx
He will definitely give me lots of doggy kisses he always gets mental when I return form a long trip bless his little fur heart 😁😁😁😁 I used to laugh at people obsessed with their dogs not I'm worst than all of them 😁😁😁 Thank you for always knowing what to say to make me feel better! As I always say, you and Daisy are my inspirations ☺️☺️☺️☺️🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This road of infertility is the absolute most painful and lonely journey. I’m so sorry that this time was not the one. The ups and down and emotional torture is hard to explain. It’s like we are numb to things because of the disappointment of it all. This pain will never go away but it will lessen in time, I guess that’s what we all hope. Be kind to yourself and know that we all love and support you. Xoxo
Thank you ever so much! It's is a nightmare road to walk on but we have no choice do we? But keep going and going, and fighting! Sooner or later will be our turn! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so deeply sorry. I really hoped this is your time. IVF journey is so difficult, but I do believe you will be lucky y the end, as it does sound you are under an incredible care! Sending you virtual hug
Thank you! I do feel I get great care and I know my consultant did everything he could to make it workz and he did make it work twice and I'm sure he will be able to fix the problem 🤗🤗🤗 and make it stay! Hope you are doing well! Lots of love your way! ❤️❤️❤️
Absoluteky! Sometimes we just need to let the sadness take over for while cause being always strong and trying to move quickly asap sometimes can cause more damage than good ❤️❤️❤️ All the support here is absolutely amazing and gives me strength to carry on! Lots of love! ❤️❤️❤️
Frustrated more than anything. I’ve had my bit cry and now ready to get a plan together to move forward. This journey is brutal. How are you doing? Xxxx
More than brutal! It's like a never ending drama and you sometimes feel it will always be like that. I believe things will get better and we will get our miracles but why on Earth we should struggle so much and go through all that????? It's so unfair! I'm back home, I couldn't stay there anymore🙈🙈🙈 feeling better being in my safe space just been doing cleaning and tidying all day and can't wait to get my dog tomorrow I haven't seen him in 6 weeks lol ❤️❤️❤️
So having a little break or cracking on with it asap? 🙈🤗❤️
Ahh tell me about it, like what the hell. It’s relentless. If we don’t have hope what do we have!? Have to keep moving. I can’t imagine being away from home. I’m glad you’re back to your home comforts. Funny, I’ve spent the day cleaning. My goodness, 6 weeks is a long time, he will be so excited when he sees you. The unconditional love of a pet ❤️
Cracking on ASAP, i just need to get a plan sorted. It’s so hard when I have to wait 6 weeks for a follow up. I’ve managed to get a referral to a recurrent miss carriage clinic and also trying to get NK cells test done. How about you, rest or repeat? Xxxx
I was going to say can't you get referred to the recurrent miscarriage consultant. I was referred after my 3rd transfer chemical and she done all the possible tests and of course nothing came out of there hahaha.
I will wait a bit, I'll probably have another go in the spring one EC and two FETs with two miscarriages is enough for me this year. I need to remember for a bit how normal life feels like 😂😂😂
hey, I had not been able to post before but I just wanted to add my support and just send love at this incredibly difficult time, there is nothing really I can say just wanted to add my wishes of support as you are such a strong positive person xxx
😔 I'm so so sorry Klndmr. So sad and shocked to read this. You really are such an inspiration to everyone on this group. You deserve this so much. Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself. You are doing amazing and absolutely all you can - you're allowed to feel negative and have feelings where you want to hide, this is totally normal so be kind to yourself and treat yourself ❤️💫 here for you if you want a chat. Sending so much love to you xxx
Thank you! You people here always make me feel so much better as only here we can feel understood and really really supported! I sometimes feel everyone around us doesn't get it at all. They just expect us to forget and carry on living normal but they've got no idea how traumatic experience can IVF be most of the times. I'm back home so feel much better being in my own safe place and in time I will pick myself up and start making new plans. I think this time it got me more than before as everything was going so well and I let myself actually believe everything was going to be alright. Anyway sooner or later it will happen I will never stop believing this ❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️
Hope you are doing great! Lots and lots of love, hugs and smiles your way 🤗🤗🤗❤️🤗❤️
I just saw this darling (I haven't been here too much lately, was struggling a bit). I can't believe it 😢 I can't imagine how it must feel to get success on OTD and betas over and over and have this happen 💔😫 Sending all my love and support
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*Trigger warning* 6+6 scan - empty sac 😢
5 weeks 4 days & bleeding 😰
extremely low hcg levels and stopped rising
Sensitive post *warning* healthy heartbeat found 🎄❤️💗💙🎄
