Feeling sad and disheartened

[CarrieF]

Hi I am new to this. I am 39 years old with a low Amh of 4.4. I just did my first ivf/Icsi cycle. 6 eggs where retrieved, 4 fertilised. 3 only had 2 cells by day 3 and arrested that day. 1 had 6 cells by day 3. I was booked in for my transfer this morning day 5. But got a call saying the embryo was still in cell stage and hasn’t gotten to blastocyst. So they aren’t transferring it. Has anyone else has this experience? Should I have transferred the embryo even though it was slow? I just don’t know what to do.

Thank you. This is so hard and scary.

[JoyfulStar]

Hi CarrieF, I completely get how you must feel. I had a round where no none of my 13 eggs retrieved, 5 fertilised, made it to blastocyst. It is so disheartening because it feels like it is over prematurely.

Does your clinic do only 5 day transfers because I am surprised you were not offered a day 3 transfer with only 1 embryo progressing still at day 3?

I know day 5 transfers are all the rage now but I read somewhere that doctors should only progress embryos to day 5 if they have 3 or more embryos at the 8 cell stage. From personal experience, the best thing now is to have a consultation with your clinic to find out any tweaks to future treatment. Also, if you are so inclined, advocate for a day 3 transfer next time.

Also, don’t know what supplements you are on but some people swear by the recommendations from the book “It starts with the egg”

All the best with your journey and I will encourage you not to lose hope. 🙏🏾

[CarrieF in reply to JoyfulStar]

Thank you JoyfulStar. I’m going to check out the book. I think that is the only thing I can do at this stage is try to improve the quality of my eggs and to stay positive.

[JoyfulStar in reply to CarrieF]

When you start taking the supplements, just focus on looking after your physical and emotional wellbeing. You will need to take them for 3 months for them to be effective. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. 🌹

[CarrieF in reply to JoyfulStar]

Thank you x

[CarrieF in reply to JoyfulStar]

I bought the book too. So have started reading it. Already some major changes for me. Thank you again for recommending x

[leo1980]

Hi CarrieF, so sorry to hear your news. At 39, I had one cycle where none of my eggs even fertilised. It’s a brutal process. I did a cycle after that only to appease my husband, and all 7 eggs fertilised, 4 made it to day 5 which we had tested and were normal. I had them frozen and am now working on getting my weight back under control (I used steroids) in that last cycle and am going to do ERA before transfer. You will get lots of great advice here but here is one I wish the doctors had told me when I started 5 years ago... be prepared to fail. Be prepared to have many goes. You need to bring your game face in for the long haul.. I naively expected it to work first time - I was 36 at the time; We had no known issues. So the not knowing why really messed with me- emotionally and physically. So hang in there, every circle is different. Look after yourself. This one may have been bad but the next one could be better. Sending lots of love your way xx

[CarrieF in reply to leo1980]

Thank you so much Leo1980 for your kind words, it means a lot what you said. Sounds like you have been so strong, it’s so nice to hear other’s story, so you know your not alone. I shouldn’t have had such high expectations on my first cycle as I knew going in I had low Ahm and my age! I’m going to focus now on my health, supplements and diet. So hopefully next round (August) I’ll have had more time to get my egg quality up. Sending love your way too x

[BBHH1]

Sorry to hear, I wouldn’t transfer the cell stage on day 5-6. But you could try transferring day 3 next time and see if they thrive in your body!