BFN feeling cheated and sad !!!

Hi folks .

I've been on here a few times lately . It's my first IVF cycle .

I had 1 donor egg transferred 11 days ago ! My egg was splitting nicely and was graded a 1-2 which was quite good news

Woke up this morning at 530 am on my OTD ( yes I know that was early ) !!!

It's a BFN !!!! I feel heartbroken and really thought I was in with a chance as my boobs were so so sore and heavy . It must have been through all the hormone drugs I've been on . I'm sure this has happened to so many people but my hopes were so high

I know in a day or 2 I'll be able to start thinking about where we go next , just feel a bit gutted !

😨😨

16 Replies

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  • Hi Leah

    So sorry to hear this... It's heartbreaking.

    When our first cycle failed I felt completely shocked as it had all gone so well, plus I'd had really sore boobs and truly felt pregnant but now I know it was just the drugs.

    Take all the time you need to get your head around it, it took me about a week before I thought I was ok but then the sadness creeps up on you when you least expect it.

    Sorry again it really is awful news but you'll soon feel ready to look at your options going forward. I was told to look at the first cycle as a trial run which helped me to get my head around it.

    Holly xx

  • Thanks for your message isitonlyadream ..... It's nice to come on here as I know that people do understand .

    I like the way you've said think of the first go as a trial . In a way that's right as at least I now know what to expect .....

    I can see from on here that people also go through worse and that I should be grateful .

    Did you just go through one IVF treatment ? I hope things work out for you also .

    Thanks again for replying xxx

  • Hi Leah

    We have had one fresh cycle and one embryo transferred a 5 day blast but unfortunately that one didn't work. We were lucky enough to have one 5 day blast frozen and I've just got home from the clinic, my lining is 9.6mm so they have contacted Leeds to get the ball rolling for our fet.

    So I'm mid way through our fet cycle now and still very nervous and apprehensive but trying to keep as positive as possible!

    It's just a numbers game from what I can tell, for some it works the first time, for others it takes a few goes, don't give up hope.

    Holly xx

  • Hi Holly, hope you don't mind me gate crashing your conversation but your circumstance sounds exactly like mine and I am at Leeds also. Do you mind me asking how long it was from the first attempt to your fet? I'm hoping they just crack on straight away as I have 7 frozen ones and just had my first fresh one fail 😒 I'm just keen to get on with it and defrost another and go again but I know it all has to take time. I don't even know the protocol for FET either.

    Good luck with your FET and I'll be keeping everything crossed for you πŸ’ž Xx

  • Hi gurty

    No worries πŸ˜„

    Our fresh failed on the 26th may and our follow up appointment was 2 weeks later. I had to wait for my next period which was the 24th June and a day 21 appointment was made for the 14th July. At this appointment I had the prostap injection to down regulate then on the 28th July a scan to make sure i had. I then started estrogen tablets (3 / day) and had another scan a week later. Lining was thickening fine do upped tsblets to 4 a day and just had my last scan this morning.

    I've just had the call from Leeds, transfer booked in for next Tuesday the 16th August which is exactly 3 months since our first transfer on the 16th may.

    I have to start the Pessaries and fragmin injections on Wednesday and stay on the estrogen tablets too.

    I was ready to get started straight away too but as you can see even getting started straight away takes time, 3 months!!!

    So sorry you've had no success first time round it really is heartbreaking.

    Holly xx

  • Awww thank you for replying Holly, I have just spoken to the nurse and she has basically just told me the basics of what you have said πŸ˜„ We are on the waiting list for our follow up appointment which will be within 6 weeks and like you I have to wait for a natural period etc and then it will all start again so we just worked it out to be around October which is 3 months. I can cope with that, I just didn't want it to be like 6 months or something as I know it all takes time. If it was up to me I would be back in now giving it another go!! Haha!

    Wishing you all the luck in the world for the 16th August, let's hope this is your time and you get the positive result πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’ž

    Xx

  • Hi gurty

    Thank you πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

    I know what you mean I have zero patience!!!

    Thank you for your well wishes it means a lot, I'll keep you posted xx

  • Hey Leah, my thoughts are with you. It's such a terrible feeling. Give yourself time with your partner, have lots of cuddles and try to be kind and close, it helps through the dark days.

    As you were Donor do you have other Frozen embies you can use later down the line?

    This process is the hardest and the most gruelling and you're incredibly brave to get to this point. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

  • Hi Hannah .

    Thanks for your message , it does help .

    Unfortunately we had a bad start with this cycle as out of the eggs collected from our donor ( only 1 egg fertilised ) ...

    I had all my hope on the one embryo and it was looking a strong egg !

    Thanks for your kind words . I think I'll be having some wine tonight ..... Cuddles with my partner are helping too !!!!

    I get it now when they say it's an emotional roller coaster !!!! Xxx

  • It's such an illogical process isn't it. I have had grade As transferred that have not worked yet the weaker one in the lab made it to day 5 and turned into a 4AA grade. Crazy! I guess it's about probabilities rather than certainties. One thing this whole process has taught me is to be hopeful but never confident, there are too many things outside of our control.

    Wine and cuddles are perfect 🍸😘 , be kind to yourself and try not to beat yourself up about it. Big hugs xx

  • Hi Leah

    I am exactly the same, it's our first cycle and we tested yesterday at 5am and BFN!! Tested again this morning and still BFN! 😒 No sign of my period coming at all so I had a glimmer of hope it was wrong to only read up that Progrsterone pessaries can stop your period anyway!!

    I felt like you, totally felt pregnant. Sore boobs, bloated, even down to 'so called cravings' which now I know was all my head! We do these things don't we.

    I feel for you I really do, it's awful and we just have to pick ourselves up and go on to the next stage of the Unknown. I have 7 frozen embryos so I'm extremely lucky and I have to be thankful of that. I guess it's just waiting for follow up appointments now which we know can take forever! Haha

    Do you have any more donor eggs to go again? It's heartbreaking but I have honestly heard more stories of failed first attempts than successful ones so I don't think it's uncommon that it doesn't work....my mum said it's no surprise considering everything our bodies have been through πŸ˜•

    Sending you some hugs πŸ’ž Xx

  • Thanks Gurty for your message .

    It sucks doesn't it ? Those bloody pessaries play tricks with your mind ..... Thanks for your lovely message and I'm sorry to hear about your cycle too !!!!!!

    Unfortunately we only had 1 egg which fertilised so none frozen . It will mean we will have to start the whole process again I guess , which will take a bit of time .....

    Good luck to you with your next journey and I'm sure one of those frozen eggs will give you the baby you have dreamed for ....

    We have to try and keep positive , despite the set backs thrown our way .

    Xxxx

  • It really is super crap!! I was dying for a glass of wine last night but I daren't yet as my clinic suggests that if you haven't started to bleed with a negative test that you carry on with the progesterone for 3 more days and test again! Not that I'm holding out any hope - I think I can accept it just hasn't worked this time. Fingers crossed for another one hey 😊

    It's such a shame that you now have to start the process again, from scratch. I should be thankful that I have the 7 frozen ones! Nothing ever comes easy for us does it, it feels like one positive and then a few negatives! A rollercoaster of a ride this isn't it.....lets just hope and pray it gets us what we want in the end. I will keep you in my thoughts and I really hope you get another donor ASAP and then you can go again and hopefully get the positive result in the end πŸ’žπŸ™πŸΌ

    Good luck with your journey too - xxx

  • Awww I feel for you, bfn are rubbish. Take some time out for yourselves then in time you will be ready to try again xxx

  • Really sorry to hear you got a BFN. Take time to recover emotionally and physically and have your follow up before you decide what to do next. We used DE for our third and final round of ICSI and got 3 mature eggs and 2 embies transferred, sadly another BFN and no frosties. I assumed that we'd get more and better quality with a younger donor. Hopefully your next donor will produce more eggs for you.

  • Hi Leah - I'm sorry to read this. It's so hard staying positive throughout without getting your hopes up which makes it even worse. I hope you are doing well, take care of yourself x x x

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