Familial egg donation

[minnesota_girl]

Hi, has anyone had any experience with familial egg donation?

I'm considering this as my next move - I'm 41 (nearly 42), I've had three failed rounds of IVF, two positive pregnancy tests overall (the first one natural before we went to IVF) two miscarriages - and suspected low egg quality.

My younger sister (she's 34) has offered to donate (she already has two kids and a high AMH for her age of 35) and she lives 4000 miles away, and we've always been close and we both feel this is something that could work.

I was wondering if anyone else has done this and how have you found it?

I had my head wrapped round it fully and then did my 3rd cycle of IVF and got a positive, and then had so much anxiety over miscarriage and then it happened, and I'm not sure I can go through all of that with such a low chance of success and feel like it might be time to increase my odds of actually having a viable pregnancy. But I admit that the positive really floored me and I got so excited that it might actually be my egg that worked and my biological child...

[Beanybeanz]

I have no experience of this, however I have just done ICSI and obviously this is one of the things you think of when you go through all the options- I would’ve been completely open to the idea.

It sounds like a great option for you if you relationship with your sister is strong, and it will be your biological child because your sis and you basically have the same make up 😊.

My female family members and I have talked previously about how we’d do this for each other if one couldn’t have kids. I was lucky with my first round of ICSI but another family member is struggling and this will be an option for her in the future if she isn’t successful.

I say go for it if all parties are happy with it and everything is talked through beforehand. How lovely to have that option and what a lovely sister! xxx

[Vicster80]

I did this for my sister. Worked perfectly. I was going through treatment to have a baby anyway and have a high AMH so I donated half my eggs. I got 24 so 12 each. She had a baby boy and I had a girl. She has since had a girl with one of her frosties. Honestly think it was the best thing for both of us, no regrets whatsoever x And they are 100% her children. Mine and her eggs would be pretty much identical anyway as we share dna, and obviously fertilised with her husbands sperm, and she carried and gave birth. The kids look so much like her too which is brill xx

[minnesota_girl in reply to Vicster80]

Thanks for sharing, what a wonderful story! And amazing she was able to get frosties as well!

And I love the fact that the kids look like her, what a lovely bonus x

[Lillilly]

Even though I haven’t used a family member’s eggs, I know what you mean about the excitement of it still possibly working with your own eggs. We were settled on the donor egg route when it seemed i may have fallen pregnant naturally. That only lasted a few days before AF reared her head, but I remember feeling guilty for “abandoning” my donor eggs at the first whiff of my own. That was a year ago. I’ve reflected a lot on it since and I don’t feel guilt any more. I think I just got excited that I might be pregnant, whether it was my own eggs or donor. After struggling with fertility for so long, any step forward is exciting! I’m not sure it was even a comparison. It’s just what presented itself first.

I don’t mean to diminish that inner conflict you must be feeling between OE and DE. It’s tough letting go of your own fertility and I certainly grieved a LOT. I imagine it will stick with me for life, but I am also so happy I’ve embarked on the DE route.

Using your sister’s eggs sounds really great but I’d suggest having some sessions with a therapist and allow yourself to be brutally honest with yourself. Had a family member offered me their eggs I would have declined but that’s only because of what I discovered about myself in therapy sessions and I’d have dreaded insensitive comments from friends/family about who’s the real mother etc.

Sorry, that last bit doesn’t sound like I’m encouraging you. Far from it. Just showing you the other side of the coin.

Xxxx

[Orla9298]

My sister was my donor last year, feel free to look back over my posts, I was only 32 ish when we started Ivf, now 37 this weekend, 5 full retrieval rounds of ivf and all the associated transfers with my own eggs, 4 natural miscarriages, 1 ectopic with emergency surgery.

I did one donor round with my friends eggs when I was 35, she is the the same age as me, but we didn’t get many eggs or embryos, and both transfers failed, but then my sister donated at 33 and had average amh of 15 pmol, and we got 13 eggs and 4 blasts frozen, the second one is now 22w2d and a baby girl in our surrogate!

My sister is so like me (looks wise) and we are super close! We are pretty different in our personalities. It was the obvious choice (the only reason I did it with my friend first is because she’s a good match for me too and I love her, and my sister was pregnant so couldn’t at that time).

We actually even skipped the donor counselling just because we were so sure. It’s exciting wondering how my daughter will look - my sisters daughter is a beauty, but for our baby obviously 50% is my husband so I always wonder will she look more like my sister or my niece, or my hubby.

I do question how it will feel to my daughter as she learns about it all, but I figure as a family we will all make so much effort to normalise it and teach her how my sister just donated me one cell to start her off, from the same dna.

That wondering about my own eggs has not gone away, we are still trying naturally as I still grieve a bit for them. But I tell myself come on, look at your history, it has NOT gone well! We even wonder about doing another retrieval with my own eggs and trying them in surrogacy for a sibling... but then I just feel pretty certain when our little girl arrives, whose eggs they are will be the most irrelevant thing ever. Plus we still have our two frosties left.

I hope my reply is helpful in any way! I’m happy to talk or message if you like! Xx