Absolutely heartbroken that our first FET (second IVF cycle) has failed. I tested this morning when I was feeling slightly hopeful only to be hit with the hard truth that once again it hasn’t worked for us 💔
I’m always told that I’m young, my eggs will be good and with no known fertility issues on my side (we have male sub-fertility) that our chances are good - but after a miscarriage and two failed cycles, I’m starting to think there is something wrong with me.
I’ve text my consultant and asked for our follow up appointment to be scheduled as soon as possible (I’m impatient..) and will prepare a list of questions to ask. The obvious being why does she think it’s failed and what can we do differently next time?
Can you please advise me of other questions I should be asking, or further tests I should look into and ask my consultant about? What would or what have you done differently after a failed FET before you got a BFP?
I’d like to think I’m an optimistic person, I know these things happen but I have to say that I’m losing faith and hope. This was our last top quality embryo (first 5AA failed, this was a 3AA). I’m grateful to have blastocysts frozen, I think we have two 3ABs and two 3BBs left so I know they’re still decent looking on the surface but they’re not as good as the ones that failed so naturally I question whether they’ll fail too?
I also did absolutely everything and more for this; acupuncture, ate pineapple core (quite tasty too), ate Brazil nuts, drank pomegranate juice, had my folic acid and my vitamin d tablets. Also had my thyroxine daily 😔
I know there’s a few of us testing today so good luck to you 💫
If you’ve read this far, thank you 🤍 xx
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XOXO13
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I'm so sorry to hear this. Having to go through two weeks of waiting only to be hit with a negative is torture. But you have more frozen ones. I've heard so many stories of the first top quality embryo not taking but two of the following less quality ones implant. Don't lose hope. You will get there and it will all be worth it. Xx
I’m so so sorry lovely. Just like you, I felt completely deflated after previous rounds didn’t work. Our top grades didn’t work either and I just couldn’t see how lower grades would - but I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant with twins and one of them was a 3BB so I would say it’s a great grade. Things that I changed that might help you - TSH levels checked (although sounds like you’ve done this), progesterone levels checked on the day of transfer (mine were low so added lubion), embryoglue added. I also did the thrombotic risk profile blood test after my mc and it came up borderline so I got put on clexane injections, which is supposed to help with implantation. Another thing you could consider is an ERA but they might suggest one more attempt at a FET before this. I know you won’t feel like it now, but there’s every reason to believe your next transfer will work xxx 🌟
Yeah, I have my thyroid screening on a monthly basis so I know that’s finally monitored. Although, in the last TWW I’ve had, I’ve had a lump near my thyroid glands that I think is referred to a goitre - my doctor didn’t seem too concerned and I don’t know much about it but wonder if I should get it investigated further.
I trusted my doctor when she said not to worry about progesterone but this time I’m going to push for it to be tested because it’s something that seems to come up for many women as a concern frequently.
Thank you for your tips, embryo glue is added to my list of things to ask for as is an ERA (I’ve a feeling she tell me this isn’t needed for the next round).
I’ve not heard of thrombotic risk? Do you mind me asking what that involves?
Thank you so much again for your kind words and advice 💫
And twins, still such special news (I know I’ve said that a lot!!) xx
Oh hun. I’m so sorry to hear this. BFN’s are devastating, especially when you feel like you’ve done everything right. You have 4 more embryos left though which is amazing and therefore time to tweak your protocol if it’s needed. I don’t even know how my clinic rates embryos but whichever way they do it, they don’t tell me (and I don’t ask) to avoid this situation where you feel like one might be better than another. Loads of ‘lower’ grade embryos implant over ‘higher’ grade ones for people on here. Hopefully you can chat to your consultant, and go from there xx
I’m so sorry sweetheart, it’s an absolute heartbreaker. As Peanutchips says, there’s no reason that your next one won’t work. Embryologists won’t freeze embryos that they don’t think are viable so stand up for those 3BBs!
I had an ERA test done after 3 failed FETS and it showed I need an extra 24 hours of progesterone. We’ve not had a chance to test this yet but for me that’s a significant change that might just be the charm. I would highly recommend talking through your window of implantation with your consultant. Other things to test are NK cells as you say, ALICE/EMMA, progesterone levels and of course the last stop for a lot of people is PGT-A testing of the embryos. Lots of luck to you. Hope you get some good answers xxx
Of course not; it’s exactly the same timeline as an FET, except that on the day you would usually transfer they do a biopsy instead. Then you stop the meds. It’s really quick biopsy- feels weird but not too bad. My results came a week later. They did the ALICE/EMMA test at the same time both which were negative. I did have the option to test for NKC too but my consultant basically said that it wasn’t worth it, and when it’s private and you’re paying and they tell you that - I tend to believe them! Also at the moment they won’t give steroids which is how the control the NKC...
you can start your next FET straight away (if you get your results in time) well my clinic were happy with that anyway.
Oh I’m so so sorry to hear this. It’s so hard and it never seems to get easier. Sending you love! I did write a post asking similar back in December if you want to check it out - I’m similar to you, was told I’m young and it’s just been down to luck. For me they said that because I hadn’t done a frozen, I should do a frozen first before starting investigations. As you’ve done both they may suggest testing your embryos or doing a ERA /Alice
I’m really sorry again hun, take it easy on yourselfxxxx
Aww you are too kind to ask about me at this time lovely ❤️ I’m okay, had a little bleeding which has freaked me out (thankfully stopped now) so am taking it easy but definitely more nervous!
It’s really good that you’re thinking about next steps and look forward to hearing what your consultant recommends when you meet with them. Take care of yourself lovely xxx
I can imagine how devastated you are. Our stories are quite similar, I did so many tests and we couldn’t find anything on my side, we know that we have male factor infertility but never found the reason why, apart from semen analysis all my husband tests are fine including MRI. I had 3 chemicals so far on all our 3 transfers. We are doing now genetic tests to check whether we are sharing the same genes (hope not🤞) as my NK cells are normal. My embryos are PGS tested as I thought after having 2 chemicals we are not producing chromosome normal embryos. I think you should discuss with you doctor about Hysteroscopy and ERA test as next steps, also some tests on your endometrium lining for inflammation. Good luck and stay strong 💪 big hug from me ❤️🤗
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, it’s so heartbreaking 💔
I had a HyCoSy before this transfer and all clear which is so reassuring. I’m thinking ERA could be a good next step and seems to be the advice I’m given on here.
I am so so sorry 💔 but I know it will happen for you, do not give up! Will message you xx
I am so sorry to hear this, I was wondering how you are. I was meant to do my test on Thursday but I am still too nervous to so haven't, we will do it tomorrow.You have done everything you can with acupuncture, eating, resting etc so you gave it everything. I would definitely ask what your consultants thinks and next steps. Maybe two next time? Worth asking.
I did think about two. My consultant was so against it last time, and I am worried that if I ask for two and lose them both then I’d be devastated. I’m not sure I should take the risk. Does transferring two increase the success of implantation?
I have heard two sides, one side that the womb finds it harder to keep both but then I have friends (3 couples) who have had twins from IVF. I only have one left on ice but I would want to do a cycle again and put two in if it doesn't work. The only thing my doctor said as to why they wouldn't put two in is for the rare chance you could have identical twins making triplets but that's so rare. It depends on the grade of your embryos ... it's expensive going over and over again I thought. That's just what I am thinking.
I am so sorry about your news and have everything crossed for you.
I am going to test in a day if I can get the courage to. It's so hard. All of this xxx
I agree, I’ve heard of so many success stories with double transfers. My consultant just scared me out of it.. but I may talk to her again about it.
Fingers crossed for you .. it is really hard, it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through. And I honestly don’t think anyone really understands that until they live it themselves.
I couldn't agree more, I have had so many friends (and even my brother go through it) and I thought it was so much easier than it is. I used to say to friends they should pay the doctors to worry now. It doesn't work that way. My best friend is starting it now and I have changed my tune... I have said I didn't worry as much when we tried naturally but now there is so much focus on our eggs and it womb it's horribly stressful.Wishing you nothing but success and baby dust xxx
Hello lovely, sending you lots of love and I completely understand how you feel! It's so heart breaking and also the hardest part is that it is out of our hands. I am older and have had 3 fails with top blastos and one miscarriage with 1 average one. I really don't think quality equals success, and it is subjective too on the embryologist. Sadly it is a numbers game, which is the hardest part so you can't lose hope. With every fail i have learned something new about tweaks I need to make for the next one so a lot of is learning. Sending you hugs, please don't lose hope. Things I have changed are doing a natural FET and adding aspirin xxxx
I think you’re right, I don’t think the quality of them at appearance tells you much. I may ask the embryologist next time not to tell me anything as they get your hopes up when they say how good looking it is!
It is definitely a numbers game isn’t it, and a painful one! And a learning game.. I’m hoping my consultant has some suggestions! I’m so tempted to just say throw everything at me!!
I’d ask about progesterone levels (were they tested on the day of transfer) what was your lining thickness? Is there any merits in doing an ERA test etc? Did you do a medicated FET or a natural FET? any merit in trying the other one?
Rest assured that the embryos you have frozen still have a really great chance. I had a really “odd” feeding about transferring my 5aa blastocysts and asked to transfer my 5ba and day 6 4bb instead and these two are my twins
I didn’t have my progesterone tested on the day of transfer, my clinic said I didn’t need to (I did ask). Lining was good, I checked that. I had a medicated FET but wonder if they’ll change that next time.
I’m so sorry the round did not work for you. I have no additional suggestions beyond what others have said but just wanted to send you a massive hug xx
Oh so sorry to read this I’m gutted for you 😔 it’s good you’re getting prepared to see your consultant and it’s good to have questions to ask ready. I know at my clinic they offer an endometrial scratch after 2 failed transfers so maybe worth an ask if there is anything different they can do from their side. Try not to worry about the grading of the embryos, our embryologist told us the grading is subjective to the opinion of each embryologist (if that makes sense) and not to stress about it because when people fall pregnant naturally they don’t know the grading/quality of the embryo that has implanted so in that sense it’s just a number! I really hope you’re ok and you indulge in some alcohol and comfort food xxx
I’ve got endometrium scratch on my list - have you tried this before?
Oh I am.. I’ve got myself a large glass of red wine, eating crisps and going for a takeout tonight! I haven’t drank properly for as long as I can remember, more than a year so I’m actually enjoying my wine!!
I'm so sorry to hear this. It is an awful feeling when it fails. When my FET failed I spoke to my Physician and we opted to do the ERA to make sure my implantation window was correct... glad we did because I was post receptive which means my little embryo never stood a chance to begin with. We changed my progesterone timing and now I am pregnant with an AB grade embryo. I have had quite a few friends that have has BB and even one a BC that ended in love birth so I would not worry quite as much about to quality. Hopefully you and your physician can come up with a plan to change things up for you a bit so that your next round has better news. Good luck and fingers crossed for the next go at it! Reading other womens stories on here might help...there are plenty of women who have gone mutiple rounds and finally got their little one so don't lose all hope during this sad time. Hang in there.
So sorry it hasn’t happened this time. It is so deflating. I also had 2 4AA’s fail then a 4BB and a 2BB implant so try not to worry about the grade so much. I believe you definitely have a future baby or more in your Frosties. Keep the faith , have a break and return to this stronger , when you are ready. Take care xx
I'm so sorry to hear this news! Take some time out for yourself and then start planning once you have your consultant meeting. Loads of stories of 'lower' quality ones working. I have everything crossed for you and your frosties. 💓
I’m so so sorry to hear this, it’s really shit. It’s good you have more embryos though so don’t loose hope. Maybe just need your protocol tweaked a bit. Take care xxx
My boobs have come back really sore.. it’s what started to give me a little hope that it had maybe worked as since my miscarriage, I’ve never had sore boobs before my period. And with the last round of treatment, the medication also didn’t give me sore boobs. So it must be this round of medication giving me them!
I feel okay this morning, I’ve read lots and researched different next steps to take to my consultant so hopefully third times a charm! Xx
It’s so strange isn’t what the medication does each time. This time to my last in November it’s different as well so you just never know. It’s a horribly unfair game we have to play with the IVF such a lottery 😢
You have the best attitude though and armed with all your questions you next meeting with the consultant will give you more clarity. Here is to 3rd time lucky for you 🤞🏽🤞🏽
Heaps of baby dust coming your way from all of us xx
Oh, XOXO - I am so sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you. Seeing BFNs never gets easier and feels soul destroying when you feel like you've done everything in your power for that longed for BFP. I hope your consultant can shed some light on why they think your angel embaby didn't stick around and that they can personalise your protocol for next FET. Sending lots of love xx
I hope you are feeling a little better as the days pass. I'm gutted for you that this didn't work out. When I posted about my first BFN your repose really helped to pick me up. I know its so hard to focus on the positives but how great that you have those frozies! As others have said there are so many examples of lower grade ones taking. You still have lots of options and chances ahead. After my failed cycle I remember being told by my NHS nurse that you are offered 3 cycles as that is roughly what is required to get a successful outcome. Its a bloody hard journey made harder by not knowing when it will work for us, but what you do know is that you have plenty of future attempts ahead and the odds are that you WILL get there ❤️ xxx
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