Everyone else seems happy for pregnant friends and family but I can’t cope. Am I a bed person?

[TTCWithCHSweetheart]

Ok so everyone I talk to seems to happy for their friends and family when they receive amazing news but I hate it.

All my friends that are going through/ been through infertility say they never got angry with others so why do I find it so hard to deal with?

Am I that bad of a person?

[Snee0]

It's natural, me mainly but also my husband found it incredibly hard to be happy for others when they fell pregnant or gave birth. I would say congratulations but then be in tears to my husband and be very angry/frustrated for a few days. It would take me a good week or so to get my head around it before I could actually feel a little happiness for the others. It was a real challenge. You're definitely not a bad person, totally natural and infertility is such a difficult path to walk down, so emotions are always high and on edge I find xx

[Cookiemonster5]

Definitley not, I was exactly the same, we used to remind each other over and over that someone else having a baby wasn't what was stopping us but still it's so hard and I'd be in floods of tears!

[Coach2]

I think it’s more unusual not to be upset given the strain infertility puts on our relationships. I felt and still feel upset when I hear other people’s news. As much as you want to be happy for them, it’s yet another reminder of the position you’re in. You see others fall pregnant so easily and it’s hard not to be resentful, especially if they tell you in an insensitive way. It can feel like everyone else’s life is moving on and you’re stuck in this limbo and that can feel incredibly frustrating and lonely. I once read that you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself in this position, and to let yourself feel what you feel and know that you’re not alone. See people in your own time and give yourself space from pregnant friends if it gets too much - if they’re good friends they’ll understand. The way my partner and I cope is to try and focus on our journey and stop comparing ourselves to others. Once you accept that everyone is on their own path and that your journey may take longer, you stop seeing their news as something that impacts you in the same way, as hard as it is to hear. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best xxx

[Sarahmanc]

I honestly think a good friend will understand if it’s too painful to go to a baby shower or do baby related things. You’ll have good days when you feel like you can stomach it but don’t put yourself through it if you’re feeling rubbish. You’re not a bad person. Just a normal one xxx

[Ivfgotadream]

It’s normal to feel sad or some negative emotions but no matter what I’ve been through - and I’ve had a very difficult journey - I always went to the baby showers, left a congratulatory post on Facebook, met the babies. My approach is that you can’t begrudge people their happiness - it’s not their fault just as much as infertility isn’t mine. Friendships and family isn’t about only being there for them during the bad times it’s about being there for them to celebrate their good times too

Obviously If this friend on her 6th kid and only had to look at her husband and gets pregnant with triplets then in that case I’d probably block her! 🤣

[fay2399]

Don’t worry I am bad person as well... some news is just not fair ... many people get pregnant with unwanted children... I can’t have one even if I’m desperate to have one !

So don’t feel bad 👿🤗😘