Anyone else miss having a life? You know...planning weekends and trips away but now (not even covid related) I can't plan anything.
Two failed rounds of iui and so far one failed IVF (next embryo transfer is on Monday) but I never know how my body will be feeling so I just can't plan anything...and I miss it!
Yep ! Feel like my life’s on hold ! Would like to actually use my holiday to have a holiday! X
Yup life has been on hold for about 3 years now - it used to be obsessing about when I was ovulating so avoiding visiting friends/family so we could schedule in an early night, not booking holidays in case I got pregnant, wishing my life away in 2 weekly sections - leading up to ovulation then the 2WW, then it became about recovering from miscarriages (5) and waiting to try again then it was recovering from 2 ruptured ectopics (2) and waiting to try again then it was 5 rounds of IVF - obsessing over treatment dates and how it would fit in with work, saving every penny to plough back into more IVF. I can’t say I regret how we’ve spent the last 3 years because the end goal will be worth it but I’m not just tired I feel like my soul is tired and I don’t feel like I’ll ever be the person I used to be
Oh I'm so so sorry about the difficult journey you've had and the losses. The thing to take away from it all is you're clearly an unbelievably strong woman..even though at times you might not feel like it but you have a goal and you'll get there x
Sending you big hugs. I relate to every word so much. xxx
Thankyou - I’m actually 10 weeks with twins today on my 5th IVF cycle so hopefully these will be our healthy rainbow babies - we’ve certainly been through a storm to get them! X
Oh my goodness. Congratulations to you!!!! Wishing you nothing but happiness and safe times x
Sending you big hugs. I relate to every word so much. xxx
I know what you mean. It very much feels like life's on hold and even when I press ahead with changing jobs or the odd holiday.... the majority of my focus is on this horrible journey and how we can't move forward with our lives. xxx
Yeah ditto.,2.5 years of not being able to plan a holiday in advance,wedding or anything. Same situation with jobs too x
Yeah, originally I didn't change jobs for ages "because of the maternity leave" but have had to abandon that notion now! 
Yes totally. xx
100% can empathise with this JustStarting1! From October 2018 - present day, everything has to be thought out and planned, no more spontaneity & it really does get me down.
I don't have any words of encouragement unfortunately, but just wanted to say you are not alone and my inbox is always open if you need to vent! Take care and be kind to yourself! 💕
Thanks love. That's the good thing about this page that others understand. Good luck to you x
Yes! It’s so tiring and frustrating. 😔
I’ve had to learn to just get on with it and plan, make sure my life feels rounded. If I feel like cancelling on the day so be it. Book a holiday I’ll be pregnant or not, if not well I’ll drink wine. If you have to delay treatment by a month so you can have fun, so be. I’m going with the less stress and happier the more likely success.
I changed jobs 3 years ago. I hated my previous role but was staying in it (for 2 years ) in case I got pregnant for the great maternity pay. So glad I decided that I needed to consider my whole life. Or if still be sat there now. This process has been going for 6 years for me. Whilst currently in 2WW with donor eggs , with 2 Frosties in reserve and another fresh donor egg cycle covered on the package. I appreciate there is no guaranteed success and if it doesn’t work I still need to have a life and feel like me and not just a pin cushion.
I’m off for a night in Bournemouth 2 of my closet friends, no I can’t drink but I can still dance, there are no kids and I can just be. If I want to rant, they let me.
That said probably lots of my friends do feel pushed to the side, but I don’t feel like listening to their helpful advice of try IVF, what about surrogacy etc etc.
Aw well good luck to you. You absolutely have the right attitude , I should learn to adapt it a bit more too...and I'm in the same situation with the job aswell.
Yeah friends and family all think they are helping but they don't understand it...even husband's don't at times lol x
I'm with you.. 2 failed IVFs. I have some summer holidays but will spend it going to the clinic and injections. The injections need to be refrigerated so can't even bring it with me on holidays... Sad and frustrating
Oh no that's disappointing. Well hopefully you'll be able to ap preciate it after it works for you. Good work x
Probably slightly easier as was skiing and cold, but I bought a small insulated camping pack with freezer packs. Was fine taking them on a plane with a note from my clinic. Just made sure there was a mini bar in every hotel before I booked and got them to re-freeze my packs day before I came back.
Yup! I am nearing the end of my second ivf 2ww. I realised at some point during this cycle that I have almost lost my identity to this over the last 2.5 years. I’ve decided if this fails I’m going to take some action, perhaps write myself a list of stuff to do and make sure I get things ticked off each month instead of wasting my life waiting for more treatment or googling my problems. I’ve found covid has further isolated me as even though people are starting to meet up again I’m still scared of getting it as it could effect my treatment. If this fails I’ll probably be scared of getting it in case of delaying further treatment 🙈 it really is crap! X
Yeah I know just how you feel. It's rubbish isn't it! I'd love to be able to just start planning things again but because we just don't know month to month where we will be in the process it's tough. I'm doing my second transfer on Monday and then that horrible 2ww. Good luck to you x
The tww is the worst! It’s sent me crazy for sure 🙈. Good luck to you too. X
I can completely relate! We shielded throughout my first IVF cycle (June-July) which resulted in a chemical pregnancy. We are keen to start our second cycle ASAP (likely end of August or September) but feel it will be impossible to do anything at all! I’m even terrified of going back to the office...I live in fear of anything that could compromise my treatment...which is everyone and everywhere!! Stay strong, there will be another side to all of this xxx
Oh I'm so sorry to hear. How difficult that must have been. I'm definitely more relaxed this time around, I think because I know what to expect (ish).
I've actually just said to my husband we're booking a one night hot tub stay away in December and booked it. Something to look forward to, if I'm pregnant I won't go in and if I don't feel great can cancel for free the week before so all round win I guess. Good luck to you x
Yeah over 3 years TTC had 3 pregnancies to 12/13w and 2 chemicals, plans made and undone no abroad holidays just incase etc etc I’ve actually gave up trying now and feel the best I’ve felt emotionally for such a long time and I’ve lost weight so feel better physically too.
I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult time you've had. That can't of been easy. Glad you're feeling better now. I really need to try and lose some weight but just have no motivation at all...which is ridiculous as I have every reason for motivation right now too. Good luck to you x
I completely understand and agree. I can remember saying this exact thing to my husband. I want the old me back! It is such an all consuming journey. I don’t think lock down has helped at all. We just had another BFN and would love to say sod it and book a holiday away but wouldn’t feel safe with how everything is at the moment.
I think the forum helps so you feel less alone. I agree with some of the other comments. Book little fun things in. Date night with partner, chat with friends on zoom with a wine. Doesn’t have to be big but might help.
Sending hugs xxx
Aw I'm so sorry about your bfn...never easy.
Yeah it's definitely planning the little things I think helps you feel normal. We've booked a little b&b place in Dec to look forward to...you can cancel up until a week before so if I needed to for any reason at least I've got that protection x
Hello, I relate to this so much! I have forgotten what life before IVF was like and when my life didn’t revolve around taking supplements, feeling guilty for having the odd coffee and worrying about planning cycles around things like friends weddings!
The pandemic has just made things even worse. All my friends are now going on holidays and going out for lunch but because of our upcoming IVF cycle (which I am very grateful to be able to start soon) we are still being very careful.
My main pleasure used to be having weekends away/holidays. Sending big hugs xxx🤗
Good luck to you. I think like others have said it's all about booking small one night trips away (that allow you cancel short notice) or a nice dinner etc that helps a little bit....still doesn't beat two weeks in Spain though lol x
Yes I feel exactly the same. I had my FET on Monday too! I hope it goes well for you and you are not struggling as much as I am with the 2WW. I have full on insomnia.... good luck and take care! Hopefully we are almost there! xx
Aw thank you. Good luck today you too. The first time the 2ww was so difficult and each day was the longest. This time it's still long but manageable and I've tried to keep myself busy which is helping. Think I've also resigned myself to a state that its not going to work...don't know if that's right or wrong but it's working for me x
Whatever helps you keep calm! Its so difficult not to go completely crazy. good luck with it all and take care xx
I know other people have said it but 1000000% YES do I agree with you.
We have been TTC for 5 years now, and I am 43 so running out of time. We have had a right roller coaster of a ride which I will spare you the details of but all the way through its felt like a baby could just possibly be round the corner so we have put our life on hold.. we have delayed our wedding (because we want it to be a big piss up!), I have stayed in a job I hate because it has insane maternity pay (full pay for up to a year!), our one 'we are lucky we don't have kids' thing that we do is travel loads and we havent been booking anything (pre covid) because of long haul flights and MC risk.. literally every aspect of our life is on hold and has been for about 4 of the 5 years now.
I dont know what the answer is really. But just wanted to say I hear you xx
Och I'm so sorry to hear about your difficult journey. I absolutely can appreciate every aspect of what you're saying.
Wow that is insane maternity pay!!! Nothing worse than stuck in a job you hate...that's me now...but the thought of having to take on extra stress and then trying to get through rounds when in a new job that you don't know yet just seems a lot.
I'm keeping everything crossed for you that your baby really is just around the corner xxx
Help! I missed a pressary
Have I jeopardised it? 🤯🥴
A letter to the baby I will never have..
Missed miscarriage 😢
Missed miscarriage at 8 weeks
