How to carry on

[Hey012345]

How do you keep sane in order to keep going? First failed round of IVF, low AMH, not sure if I’m mentally able for it.

[Ivfgotadream]

I think for me the only way to copy was to plan for the next one - I’m a planner and a control

Freak 🤣 and IVF is one of the most out of control processes you can put yourself through

We also put together a pot of money/budget which would enable us to have (at the time) 3 cycles so felt less pressure if the first one failed.

We ended up taking a loan out to fund a total of 5 rounds but it’s taken us every penny and all of those 5 rounds and 4 transfers to get us this far (currently 8 weeks with twins)

I’d say I’m pretty strong mentally though (I’ve had to be as I’ve had 5 miscarriages and 2 ruptured ectopics and lost both tubes).

[Hey012345 in reply to Ivfgotadream]

God love you, you’ve really had it so tough. That’s amazing you’re going to have little twinnies, congratulations and I hope everything goes well. Was there anything in particular that you did or would give advice to do?

[Hey012345 in reply to Hey012345]

I mean to make your body ready so that it would happen x

[Ivfgotadream in reply to Hey012345]

Thanks!

The funny thing is that my twins are from a January egg collection where I was at my unhealthiest and totally not body ready of any of my cycles (Weeks of Xmas booze and food bingeing)! 🤣

The only difference for me was changing from short protocol IVF which I had two failed cycles from (3 transfers) last year to natural modified IVF.

On short protocol over 2 cycles I got a total of 28 eggs less than 30% fertilised and 4 average quality blastocysts.

On natural modified over 2 cycles I got a total of 7 eggs 100% fertilised and 4 top quality blastocysts - 2 currently on board and 2 more frozen.

My 3rd cycle of natural modified which ended up being more like short protocol my egg quality was back to rubbish and this was after lockdown where I had 3 months of eating healthy, All the supplements that anyone has ever suggested, lost weight, lots of exercise, no stress as was furloughed, basically lots of clean living and it ended up being my worst round so honestly I think it has everything to do with how your body responds to each protocol and finding the mix of drugs for that specific month of your cycle and finding what works for you.

The rest don’t worry too much about - sometime you have to be brave and try something different. Go with your gut instinct - I knew just keeping on normal IVF wasn’t working for us. Find a doctor who you trust and listens to you - mine said no point in forcing my body to behave like a Ferrari and produce loads of eggs when it’s more like a Ford Focus. Trust my body to select the eggs rather than forcing it to make ones it would never have done naturally itself. It was a massive leap of faith for us to switch to natural modified knowing I might only get 2 eggs considering how few fertilised previously. My twins are from the cycle I only got 2 eggs

[Gabrielagrazebrook in reply to Ivfgotadream]

Hi Ivfogtadream,

Congratulations on the twins!! What a beautiful success! Your story is fascinating! Would you mind telling me more about the difference between short protocol IVF and natural modified IVF? I've not heard of it and your story is filling me with interest! Thanks x

[Ivfgotadream in reply to Gabrielagrazebrook]

Thankyou! Basically short protocol means no down regulating - you start stims cycle day 2.

Natural modified is a lot different as it’s targeting much fewer follicles to give the body chance to do more of its own natural selection.

I took tamoxifen tablets from cycle day 3 (similar affect to clomid - really designed for women who don’t ovulate regularly but clinic agreed to try it on me!)

Then 150ml Bemfola stims every OTHER day.

Cetrotide to prevent ovulation as needed

Egg collection around cycle day 12/13

And that’s it

For me it made a massive difference x

[Gabrielagrazebrook in reply to Ivfgotadream]

Interesting, thanks! It looks like my clinic automatically does short protocol, at least with both my rounds and all other couples I know from there. I have relatively little follicles (7-9) and the 1st round’s ones were v low quality. The 2nd round is this wknd. If it doesn’t work, I will ask them about Natural modified.

[Blondyboo]

Sorry your round didn’t work x Planning was the same for me. Expect and accept you will probably need more than one round and start planning towards next go. It takes the pressure off. I had 4 rounds of IVF I needed to get my baby 😍 also the round that worked I was less strict I even had a G&T day before transfer! (Although I had DE not my own) but I do believe state of mind helps to be calm xx

[Hidden]

So sorry your first round didn't work. I often think a BFN on your first round is the hardest of all because you are full of so much hope that IVF will be the fix you needed - and there are so many 'it worked first round' stories out there. You get more realistic/pessimistic as time goes on.

I always think that the first round your body is sort of learning what to do.. there is a lot you and your clinic will have learnt from it and there are loads of things you can mix up to try things that are different and improve your chances. Your body will also know what's expected of it next time round too.

I agree with IVFgotadream.. the way I dealt with my first round not working was to immediately plan for my second and I started that one the next period after my first failed. Ironically that was the best of all my rounds so far and I did get my BFP but sadly MMC.

I am about to start round 5.. I have had 3 natural MMC and 1 IVF MC and 3 IVF BFNs.. you do keep going but with a healthy dose of realism and each round I actually find easier because I know exactly what I am doing.. I am also so often prepared to be disappointed!

I am afraid I can't give you the 'I am pregnant'! story quite yet, but I would advise counselling and making sure it doesn't take over your life. Take time to remember who you are and why you and your partner go together because it can get an unhealthy obsession!

I have everything crossed you get your miracle on your second round xx

[Sofi1]

Have faith and it will happen I know easier said than done! I'm 42, I had 2 failed rounds where no eggs were collected as they were not mature or good enough. Docs told us to go for donor eggs or adopt a child or a puppy!!! However, ended up pregnant naturally in between the ivfs, unfortunately lost it. Then got pregnant again after the second ivf...due in sept all being well. Take care of yourself I had pregnacare vitamins, vit D and ubinquinol...not sure how much they helped but worth a shot.

We were planning for 3rd ivf and saw a consultant in Manchester who was really reassuring and give us faith and confidence so if you want details I can give you them. We would have gone through ivf with him.