*sensitive* 10dp5dt - BFP - advice on how to deal with the anxiety?

[Riri88]

Hello to all the amazing ladies. So first of all I want to say that I don’t want to sound ungrateful about a BFP at all because we are excited but ooh boy the other feelings…

So I caved and tested early from 8dp because I had a chemical last FET and wouldn’t want to ‘miss’ it. See image for the tests this cycle from 8dp onwards and the 10dp was around a small hour ago so has maybe not dried fully yet. My clinic OTD is tomorrow and only do a HPT, no beta’s. As their test is less sensitive that will be hopefully a good marker to show a strong line and not like last FET a shadow of a line after 10min.

BUT. The anxiety a BFP brings is just unreal. I know I should take it one day at a time and trying to but the thoughts in my head keep going towards ‘what if it doesn’t progress, it could still be a chemical in the coming week, is the line still too faint for 10dp? And then I am increased risk for ectopics so what if it is stuck in my one remaining tube again? That would just be like soul crushing.’ How do I keep going until the early location scan? Pff it is so hard!

Any advice as I am (sadly) aware that many of you would have had chemicals/ectopics/miscarriages and I am sure these feelings are all to common? What did you do/focus on? Work for me helps but not all the time.

And when did you stop testing? Can’t keep doing FRER’s every day right? Should I do just the clear blue with weeks indicator 1x a week from OTD to see if at least HCG is progressing past those thresholds? And stop other testing? Or keep going with FRER’s to maybe say 16dp5dt or something? Any recommendations?

Thanks ladies! This group has given me so much support from initially reading stories to more recently engaging more myself in conversations! Wouldn’t know where to go without you guys!

[minnesota_girl]

Such a hard thing. You want to be happy but it's hard, believe me I get it! I've got a BFP also this cycle after two b2b chemicals and I was great about not testing until the official date, but it's testing AFTER the date that can be difficult for those of us who have had chemicals!

I personally used the approach that if i felt better testing then I did, and if it caused me anxiety then I didn't.

As you move through these markers it will be easier to stop! I've decided to stop testing today after three solid days of positives. I decided that was enough for me right now so I understand the mixed feelings. I still don't feel like I'm out of the woods yet but I'm going to concentrate on the fact that I am pregnant NOW and enjoy that if I can 💕

Best of luck to you with your BFP ✨✨✨

[Riri88 in reply to minnesota_girl]

Thank you and congratulations to you to! I will try to enjoy just the fact we are pregnant right now and keep telling that to myself out loud throughout the days 😅Same good luck for you with all these ‘feelings’ that pop up now and then. I hope it sticks and grows well 🥰

[Lamagarden]

Hello Riri88, I’m in the same situation! We amazingly had our BFP about two weeks ago now and I’ve been a bit of a wreck since! After the initial shock, I went into terror and am freaking out about food and public transport etc. However, I’ve been saying positive mantras to myself to settle my fears and that has helped. Have our scan tomorrow! I haven’t tested since the OTD as simply too scared. Fingers crossed for all of us xxx

[Riri88 in reply to Lamagarden]

Congratulations! And well done on not testing! I really hope the scan tomorrow goes well! I need to do more meditation actually so back on my mantra’s and back on supporting my chakra’s to help I think 🥰 thanks for the reminder!

[Missl73]

Congratulations, I definitely find the wait to the first scan harder than the 2ww. Personally, continual testing makes me feel worse because I start obsessing - same with blood betas. None of it is within your control and it may not give you the reassurance you’re hoping for - sometimes ignorance is bliss, with nothing to base it on and no symptoms (normal this early) you can just choose to believe all is well. Having experienced a loss previously, all I can say is no amount of preparing for the worst makes it any easier when it happens so you might as well be positive and believe that your baby is healthy and everything is going to work out. Wishing you all the very best 💞

[Riri88 in reply to Missl73]

Thank you! That is so true that if the worst happens it will still be shit and it won’t be worse just because you were thinking positive thoughts prior. Will keep that in mind! And congrats to you as well! I hope this one sticks and lots of baby dust to you too!

[sun-and-rain]

Hi! First of all congrats with a beautifully positive test! I can tell I'm in a very similar situation as you. I too have been testing since 8dpt (fresh cycle), not from anxiety, but from just wanting to know if I was just making up the shortness of breath and the tiredness... And I had a faint line back then, and now 13dpt I have a clear line. I also had a chemical or early SA after my very first ET (FET), and also this time I've had constant bleeding for a week from Sunday (5dpt) to Sunday, so I can't help not believing 100% that the test shows an actual pregnancy... My OTD is on Thursday (they have an extra loooong 2ww at my clinic), but as I tested earlyand have been bleeding I asked gently if they could provide for me to have my hcg checked in my blood just to know if the levels are rising as they are supposed to, or not. I fear that if it will be an early loss that I will still test positive with a home urine test on Thursday... I got a baby after my sixth ET last time. In the beginning of that pregnancy I didn't bleed a single drop until I got a little brown blood in my underwear week 14, which of course totally freaked me out. And the other times I've had similar bleeding or spotting as I've had now, it's not been any positive at all... But they say that a chemical pregnancy gives little or no symptoms, but I have symptoms that I recognise from last time when I actually got pregnant. So I kind of still maintain the hope that this might work even if it started out seemingly very badly... Hoping for you, and for me, that our little beanies are still alive and kicking, and that they stick to our uterine walls to stay, at least for the next 8-9 months or so ❤

[Riri88 in reply to sun-and-rain]

Congrats to you too! Sounds like you are also having quite the stressful journey especially with the spotting! Let’s hope your clinic might do bloods earlier and that your feeling is true that these symptoms are a good sign! I do hear many ladies go on to have healthy pregnancies with spotting so I hope this is for you as well. Keep us posted how you get on and I keep everything crossed for us indeed! 🤞🏼🤞🏼

[DSEW]

Congratulations, the anxiety never ends. From BFP to pregnancy to child birth to watching them all night checking them breathe to hiring a sitter to first day of school to high school to college to marriage. The journey and anxiety is forever.

[Riri88 in reply to DSEW]

Haha this actually made me laugh even though it is sort of depressing at the same time 😅🙈 I do sometimes ask myself why we want this so bad knowing the anxiety would likely never stop 🤣

[Mar786]

Hiii just wanted to say congrats on ur bfp!!! like you i tested early too due to my chemical last time!! I can definitely feel the pain and anxiety it has caused me with testing. I tested bfp 8dpt too. Im just so so scared keep thinking the lines my get lighter etc i done so many tests and some come out light and some dark so spent one night crying!!! Then symptom spotting 1 day i would have them then the next I wouldn’t its been soo hard. yesterday i had slight spotting tooo!! Just so crazy im not going to test for a few days myself now either..Really pray the littke bean sticks for us 🙏 xxx

[Riri88 in reply to Mar786]

Congrats and sorry to hear you are feeling like that but sort of nice to know I am not the only one feeling like that! I think after tomorrow OTD I should stop testing with FRER’s and maybe do the week indicator one for 2 weeks making sure eventually we get to 3+ weeks and just think positive! Sticky stick little beans for all of us in this situation!

[Mar786 in reply to Riri88]

Yes - i really want to do the week indicator too soo scared i may also try that next couple of days xx

[Riri88 in reply to Mar786]

I know my clinic doesn’t like those tests and I think people on here have mixed feelings but I sort of think eventually it has to rise enough to indicate 3+ and if it would go down we pretty much know it won’t be viable. I might rather have that than wait for a scan for a good few weeks. I already looked up the thresholds for the clear blue week indicator test so that should help! The difficulty is to stop testing every day and leave it days or a week in between now 😅

[Cinderella5]

I've had an early miscarriage and a chemical so yes the anxiety levels that comes with a BFP are off the chart!! Its completely normal for sure....in fact even before I had experienced my losses I was a wreck with a BFP. All I can say is go one day at a time. Take it easy and as for testing, well that's a tricky one. I tried to stick to every second day and by the time I'd had a couple of blood that showed everything was rising as it should I stopped testing at home....I did do one a week later though and again the following week but it didnt really tell me much and in fact as your levels increase the tests find it harder to determine what's going on and can get lighter so please dont rely on testing regularly....google the hook effect. Best of luck.xxx

[Riri88 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you! Will Google that (when my husband isn’t around as he banned me from Google🤣).

[Cinderella5 in reply to Riri88]

Ha ha ha I tried to stay off google, lasted all of 5mins! My husband also used to give me a telling off.🤣🤣xx

[Mar786 in reply to Cinderella5]

This has really helped in regarding the tests thank you!! I was rly hoping for bloods to be honest so i could know my situation but my clinic does not do them

[Cinderella5 in reply to Mar786]

You could try medichecks, it's an online company that do bloods from a finger prick.xxx

[Mar786 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks so much for this - will have a look xx

[ttcemmie]

Congratulations on your BFP! I got BFP(s), but they are fainter than I would like (and show up even fainter in photos, which isn't helpful), so I totally get the anxiety!

[Riri88 in reply to ttcemmie]

Congratulations though! It is a start and hopefully in a few more days there might be progression in the lines. I really hope so for you! Does your clinic do bloodtests or just re test in a few days?

Anxiety keeps cropping up but trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind of things! 5 weeks today. (Not counting the days or anything🙈)

[JenRoy]

How are you feeling today? I totally understand how you’re feeling. I’ve just got a BFP from our 3rd DE transfer. Very strong lines on 11dp5dt. Did three tests at 3am on Saturday🤦‍♀️. One FRER, one Sainsbury’s own and a digital (which said 2-3 weeks). Initially I was delighted…now completely terrified & freaking out. I’ve pretty much no symptoms. Have done an HCG so waiting result. My clinic doesn’t seem to recheck levels so I’m going to do a home blood test via Medichecks tomorrow which is 48hrs after 1st test. It’s all so nerve wracking!! 🤪😱😩 Obviously excited for another BFP but our 1st DE transfer ended in an MMC picked up at the viability scan so am completely dreading it and so worried it will happen again. I know there’s nothing I can do but the wait is excruciating 😖 xx

[Riri88 in reply to JenRoy]

Hi hun, well I think you saw the rollercoaster I went through today. It definitely doesn’t get any easier. And I think like you have experienced you will worry every single day until the baby is born. Nerve racking to say the least. Meditation is definitely helping for me and doing chakra energy meditation and focusing towards the lower 2 chakra’s. And keep telling myself there is nothing I can do to change the outcome… keeping busy with other things helps to a certain extent.

I hope things will go well for you as well and that this one is sticking on! ❤️