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Fertility Network UK
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Another BFN - How do I carry on? 😭

Just needed to offload after another BFN following my 2WW after being started on progesterone pessaries for PCO and short luteral phase. It’s always what I’m expecting, so i’m not sure why I get so upset. I’m 26, BMI of 20, never smoked, barely drink, I workout 3 times a week, my husband is healthy. We are so very happily married and like you all, want this so desperately i’d give anything 🙁 working with children on a daily basis and seeing people take this blessing for granted doesn’t help.

How do you ladies carry on? Need a virtual hug 😖 xx

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I know this is disheartening for you, but it sounds like you have the right medical support and that you are doing all the right things, so do try to be patient if you can. It can take some time to fall pregnant, so each month is chipping away at that probability rating. Sending you big hugs & know you’re not alone here xx

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I too had a bleed yesterday and BFN today after 2ww. This is my second time. Not sure really what you can do. I have resigned myself to the fact it will never be and I have so many other good things I can focus my life on. I'm 37 and not getting younger, so will need to get on with life. Sending you virtual hugs.

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Sorry to read this hope your ok this process seems so cruel at times ..... i got my bfp last Thursday i had positives for over a week then a negative and a confirmed chemical pregnancy 😩..... its so unfair how we have to fight so hard for our dreams ... but dont give up you sound like your doing the very best the both of you 💖 sending big virtual hugs your way Xxx

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I read your story last night and cried. Although all of our stories are so different I can’t help but feel like I relate to them all. We all share a common ground. Life can be so unfair. Thank you xx 💕

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❤️ we have just go dust ourselves off and keep trying ... the 2wws are hell im dreading having to do another but thats now with my mind as it is in a few weeks im sure ill be raring to go again only this time the chemical pregnancy thoughts will be lerking so more worry... we are lucky that we have gotten this far i belive .... we can only do what we belive is our best ... hope your ok ❤️Xxx

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I can’t imagine how cruel that must be to have a glimmer of hope and then have the rug pulled out from underneath you 🙁 it’s funy how you read a lot about hormone levels being ‘just right’ weight being ‘just right’ food etc that can help, yet drug addicts and people with horrendous lifestyles get pregnant every day? The further I get into this journey the more I believe it’s a game of luck xx

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I agree i see it on a daily basis i could cry for those children ... 🙏🏻 one day that we will get our happy ending 💖 xx

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Hi I have PCO but I was told it doesn't effect ttc... have you been told different?xx

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They didn’t really say. I don’t think it helps. It’s caused in the first place by a hormonal balance and can come and go over a lifetime. I had internal scans almost a year ago to the day for spotting (turned out to be a cervical ectropian) and that scan was completely clear, I didn’t have PCO then, but I do now. Despite having none of the symptoms. My cycles are regular as clockwork 30days, no pain, no bloating, no weight gain, no excess hair, nothing.

Initially they thought I wasn’t ovulating due to the PCO but tracked my follicle and I did ovulate just on day 20\21. My acupuncturist suggested I try Vitex Angus castus for a few months to help balance my hormones. Look into it, it may help you too if you have PCO xx

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Hi Clare, has your partner had his sperm checked?

For you I would say swap to organic milk and meat and eat lots of eggs, avocado and fruit. Especially orange juice. Also don’t take ibuprofen and switch to decaf if you haven’t already.

I think if you have been together for two years and trying about a year then you can start to have further investigations.

Good luck xx

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Thank you. No he hasn’t but we’re going to arrange that today.

I’ve cut out caffeine, sugar, eat lots of fruit, don’t take any pain killers. I’ve even started eating salmon most days because I read in an article it was good for fertility. Got my DH on 85% cocoa chocolate bars daily as I read it helps sperm production. Haven’t swapped to organic milk or ate more eggs though, will that help? We’ve been together for 8 years and married for 1. This is our 9th month of trying so the GP won’t give us any help until we’ve been trying for 18months 😔 so frustrating.

Thank you for your advice 💕 xx

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You could consider investing in condensyl vitamins for sperm health in the meantime, they’re a complete supplement you buy online but are quite pricey.

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They may still agree to a sperm check as these are non invasive and quite straight forward. If not you could pay for private check.

Organic milk and meat is important as they give animals lots of hormones which can pass to us and affect our hormones. I ate loads of eggs (free range) as was recommended to do this. Don’t know what helped my ivf work but I did loads like you and got pregnant on my first go at ivf. I’m a little different to you in that my issue is blocked tube (one removed years ago and remaining one blocked) but I still didn’t want to take any chances and did everything I could to help so that if things hadn’t worked out I knew I had done all I could. You sound similar in that respect.

Really hope you are successful soon. Xx

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Thank you so much for your advice, I will definitely do that this month! We paid private for the scans and the progesterone and will be doing the same for the sperm test. I’m then at least hoping I can find an answer to take to the GP and say please help us. Congrats on your ivf success, and thank you for the well wishes.

I have hypnotherapy today (reading a book called ‘Mind body fertility’ and how hypnotherapy can be helpful. I am literally trying everything I can. Hopefully one day it will all be worth it xx

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Hey hun I am so sorry that it didn't work out :( I had 4 fails (2 x IUI and 2 x ivf) before my third ivf worked. This round I took steriods. I had my NK cells testsed at warwick and coventry hospital. Is this something you want to? X

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I’ve never heard of NK cells before - why do they test for them? x

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Hey hun, I had the test done myself because of my previous failures. High NK cells basically allegedly attack the embryo after transfer as your body thinks it's a virus. But I was on steriods from transfer day and luckily I got a bfp!! I could have been down to that, but I also had the scratch done this cycle. The staff at warwick and coventry we're amazing. It cost £540 pounds and it included two tests. One test came back normal and the month after it came back as high. So therefore I was given the steriods by the clinic. Please feel free to ask any more questions. I totally understand how you feel x

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