And here I am

[Soliditi]

Hello everyone!!

I am a 44 year old female whom always thought that my nieces and nephew were fulfilling until I met my husband and my biological clock started ticking. With that being said we stated our fertility journey august of 2019. We were told that we were both in excellent shape just need a little help. So we went through 3 rounds of IUI’s. We went to the doctor and explained that because of my age I was little concerned and felt strongly to move forward with IVF. Doctor tried to convince me to try another 5 rounds and if they failed to move forward with IVF. We did not agree with him and came to agreement that IVF was the next step. We start the preparation process and Pap smear showed little abnormality. They suggest seeing my OBGYN prior to IVF. Went to Gyno and she recommends colposcopy, get the results back and Was told I had level 2 HPV but was cleared for IVF. IVF prep starts, and one week prior to retrieval doc tells me my estrogen wasn’t high enough, and to cancel everything until my next cycle. Well next cycle COVID 19 takes over and stops everything in its tracks. In the meantime I was so drained from the fertility doctor so decided to do more research and go somewhere else. We start our journey and after first ultra sound doctor tells me he needs somethings riled out and not start anything until I c my OBGYN. I go in and they tell me they need to perform leep. Today I get the results and OBGYn wants me to see OBGYn that handles pre cancer cells so see what is going on and how to go about treatments before IVF.

I am so scared, so angry, so confused.. keep asking myself how in the universe was one doctor ready to move forward and missed everything. Gave us high hopes only to lose those hopes.

I am so confused and scared. Don’t even know what to make of anything anymore.

Can this pre cancer ruin my one chance at possibly having a baby?? So many questions, and so much fear. Any advise or support from this forum is highly appreciated.

Thank you

[Tacos44]

Hi there. Please do not loose hope.💕I started pursuing IVF at 43... with all of the appointments, tests, and a polyp removal operation, I didn’t get a transfer until a year later at 44. The ticking clock was real and so stressful. I know what it feels like to be so aware of days, weeks, and worse - months. It’s such an extensive process.But I know that the polyp removal and every test helped to make sure my body was as ready for implantation as it could be, so maybe the leep will do that for you too. It sounds like you were wise to find a new doctor who is more supportive of what you know is best for you. Stay strong 💕

[Soliditi in reply to Tacos44]

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement.

[Lilly12255]

I am not an expert but if you cannot have transfer because of pre cancer cells, a solution would be to collect your eggs, create embryos and go for surrogate. Xx

[Soliditi in reply to Lilly12255]

Thank you for the advise, but as for me surrogacy is not an option. There is nothing wrong with the idea but emotionally it is not something that I as a woman can handle. My hope is to carry my own child, and my faith is 100% with God.

If it’s Gods will for my husband and I, it will happen, if not I will have to accept it.

☺️