I had an embryo transfer on March 20th, and after 5 years of trying and two IVF cycles I was baffled to see our first ever BFP. I am currently 6weeks 6 days and I can’t help the feeling of doom that infertility has given us all. After so much failure I am foolishly expecting to miscarry even though my symptoms are all normal and everything seems to be fine thus far. My first ultrasound is in a week and a half. I am pregnant but I can’t even bring myself to say the words, in fear that this pregnancy will vanish as quickly as it came. When I talk to close family (who know everything about my IVF) I say things like “if we have this baby” and “since I might be pregnant” and they scold me every time. I’m sorry if this is insensitive, as I know COVID has destroyed the paths of so many people seeking treatment. Just wondering if there are any tips for keeping positive ❤️
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UnicornKisses
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I'm so sorry for your loss... Avoid people who scold or won't support you in this regard. It's better not discuss your ivf plans with anyone other than your husband. It's also better to avoid conversation about baby with anyone else unless with your loved one that is your husband. Even if u get a positive bfp it's important for u to stay positive until delivery because miscarry might happen at anytime during pregnancy. Don't let anyone scold you!!! You are a individual women and do remember you are no less than any other. People watch you, look for any ups and downs, if you go up, they try to bring you down by just their WORDS... trust me words are the most powerful tool to destroy anyone's growth. I think you are a complete successful women but only fulfillment which you are looking is a baby 👶...
Be strong show how strong you can be!!!! The more you be strong the more your enemies will weaken... Next time when you have ivf, don't discuss about it with anyone until 14 weeks... Be positive!!! You are a very strong women!!! God bless you!!! All the best!!!
Thank you for being so supportive. My IVF required I drive 2 hours away and I work with my mother-in-law so it would’ve been near impossible to keep it hidden, but I understand what you are saying. I appreciate your kind words, and it’s true. We do need to stay strong in these times!
I was exactly the same, I had two failed full rounds of IVF after 4 years so when I finally got my BFP last June I couldn’t let myself believe it. It wasn’t conscious but I just couldn’t say the word pregnant. I was terrified for months and every scan I was expecting bad news.
My family, although supportive, really didn’t understand and I was so hurt when my parents told some of their friends and family our news before I was ready. Didn’t they know how scary this was for us?! I know they were just excited but I just couldn’t feel the same.
After our first official scan at the hospital though (which was very strange being sat there with real pregnant people!) something clicked and I thought actually why not me! There are lots of sad stories and our experience makes us cautious but why shouldn’t it be your turn. And the chances of a miscarriage are still less than the chance of a successful pregnancy.
I can’t promise everything will go to plan for you but I hope you are able to feel the same reassurance after your scan. I just took a day at a time and tried to tell myself each day that I didn’t bleed was a step closer to our dream and a day further than I’d ever got before. I’m not sure the worry ever fully goes but I was able to enjoy it the further along I got and now have healthy 9 week old twins!
Good luck and wishing you all the best for a healthy pregnancy that you can enjoy xx
One thing is for sure, after a long road to get here I am truly appreciating every moment.
Good luck xxx
Hey there
I feel exactly the same at 8weeks and I haven’t let myself come to reality that I am actually pregnant. I’ve had two scans and everything is fine and my little bean is growing on track, morning sickness has kicked in strong but it’s like it’s not happening to me. I think as we have all struggled we are protecting ourselves as we are so used to failure and it’s easier to fall from a little height than to fall from a great height if all goes wrong.
As Franco81 mentioned the odds that you have a successful pregnancy are so much higher than anything going wrong, however I too cannot stop obsessing over the low odds and my brain thinks it won’t happen to me. Also I think this site and other sites can make you think that miscarriage and especially missed miscarriage happen more than it does. People are more likely to post on bad news as they are looking for support. Those with positive news are probably less likely to post so sometimes it can seem like missed miscarriage is a common occurrence when actually it is less than 5% of pregnancies that this happens in.
I can’t give you any advice unfortunately and I am sure many of us lucky enough to get pregnant are feeling the same.
Many congratulations and wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy as the odds are that this would be the case ❤️
You are absolutely right about it being easier to fall from a smaller height. I think that’s why a lot of us test early and things like that. And you’re right about this site giving us an altered view of the full picture. It’s so wonderful to have access to the many women who are going through the same thing as us but yet, we are not an accurate picture of the general population. And we are less likely to post the positives, not wanting to rub it into anyone’s face. I really appreciate your thoughts and best of luck to you ❤️
I feel EXACTLY the same. I am 9 and a half weeks and feel numb to it almost. I’m saying the same to close family members that know, ‘if i get to 12 weeks, hopefully if all is ok...’
Ive had 3 scans already, one with clinic and 2 reassurance. The sonographers are always so excited on my behalf and i just lay there like this 😶 i feel like its not happening to me, its not real and its just going to go at any moment.
So hard to believe in my body after its let me down for so many years.
There is no ‘normal’ way to feel in all this. Go through what you need to to protect yourself. As you get to each milestone you might feel a little bit better. Hang on in there! 💜 xx
I’m so happy you posted this today I’ve been feeling the same.
Wow you’ve been through so much of course it’s going to be hard believing you are pregnant. I’m 7 weeks luckily ivf worked first time and we had only been trying for 2 years and I’m struggling. Even though it’s been hard I think it’s too good to be true to be pregnant first round. I do the same when talking to family and friends I can’t help it I’ve told them they cannot say anything to people yet even though most people knew we did ivf so they must no we are pregnant🤦🏽♀️ I haven’t even been emotional or cried with happiness I just can’t seem to believe it. I’ve had two scans so far and everything fine even at those I felt relief but wasn’t emotional or excited.... but this week I keep thinking something is going to go wrong and have felt so down and been so snappy with my partner it’s like I’m waiting for it to happen😢 I think you will feel better after your scan but it is hard a lot of people say after 12 weeks it gets better and especially when you start getting a bump. I mean you have been through a lot more then me and I guess you just can’t quite believe it at the moment and only time will help.
I’m just trying to keep busy even if it means just in bed watching Netflix or tv shows just to get these days to go fast.. being at home with the lockdown is a blessing but also a curse. I really hope you feel better soon and start to relax and I hope your scan comes round fast 🥰💖🥰💖
Thank you so very much ❤️ I’m so thankful we have a resource like this to help connect those of us going through similar experiences. I feel exactly the same way you do. Best of luck to you
We are exactly the same 6w 6d. I echo what you’ve said and this is only our first round. However seeing some things on here including the struggle and years behind some ladies it makes me feel how can my first time round be lucky and all be ok. I prey it is and continues to be but I can’t say the ‘p’ word either. I’ve taken some light and hope from the ladies comments on this thread. They all make SO much sense - so thank you for posting. Not thank you for being terrified, we never want that but for sharing your thoughts and echoing what we all feel. Sending. Love and heaps of baby dust to you. I’ve never prayed for so many ladies I’ve never met! Xx
Thank you for replying! I was just commenting on how wonderful it is that this site can bring us together. It is very helpful to hear that we’re not alone & we feel similarly. I really appreciate your kind words and I will keep you in my thoughts ❤️
Many many many congratulations! Of course you're worried it won't progress and it's hard to accept after going down a difficult journey, but hopefully the further down you get you will feel more reassured and you can even begin to be happy and excited! 😃 Don't force yourself to feel any sort of way. Feel however you need to xxxx
Hi hun I’m in the exact same boat!! I also had A 5 day embryo transfer on 20 March ( now 7 weeks, 3 days. I’m also petrified and can’t believe this is actually happening to me. I had a scan at 6 weeks and 2 days but measured 6 weeks only but explained nothing to worry about but of course I worry!! I’ve now decided I won’t be having any extra scans just usual scans on nhs as such a cause of anxiety unless I have bleeding or pain. I know it’s easier said and done but take each day as an extra blessing and that little one is getting stronger every day xx
I completely get this, I measured one day behind on my viability scan and it freaked me out! By 12 weeks I was measuring 4 days ahead so honestly it really doesn’t mean anything when it’s out by a few days that early on! Wishing you all the best of luck for 12 weeks ♥️ xxx
It’s so crazy how deeply infertility has affected us, and we don’t even realize it. I will take each day one-at-a time & like you said, every day without bleeding is a good day xx
This is completely normal! I couldn’t use the phrase ‘pregnant’ either because I was petrified it would go away. My husband was actually brilliant and told me I had to let myself enjoy it because I can’t control what happens but right then and there I was pregnant and I had to let myself have that moment that I’d waited and fought so hard for.
I’m 17 weeks tomorrow and the fear is still there but it does get easier, celebrate every milestone because you deserve it xxxx
I was exactly the same in my pregnancies after I had a missed miscarriage and ectopic- the best thing to do is to think this pregnancy is a new pregnancy and remember just because you’ve had a miscarriage before doesn’t mean you’ll have another one. Try to keep your mind busy as there is literally nothing you can do but wait it out. Also I’m sure your family is just trying to keep you positive, I think it wouldn’t be right of them to agree with you when you say if you have this baby- you have the same chance as anyone else, I know it’s hard to imagine at this time but it really is true!!! An IVF pregnancy really is the same as any other. Good luck and hopefully you’ll have a smooth pregnancy ❤️❤️❤️ Xxxxxxxxxx
I’m so glad I found this post as I’m exactly the same, I’m further behind as only got my bfp this week.
After 5 years of trying and 4 failed IVF transfers I can’t believe we can be this lucky and just get a positive naturally!!
I panic every time I got to the toilet and wipe that there is going to be blood and now I’m freaking out about how dark the 2nd line is and should it be darker! I just feel like it’s so hard to relax and feel it’s going to be a long 12 weeks for a scan and not sure if early scans at private clinics are going to be doing early scans during the lockdown.
Definitely helps knowing others are feeling the same! Keeping everything crossed for us all 🤞🤞🤞 xx
I’m doing the same thing in the restroom! I’m so glad I posted this because it has been such a relief to see how many women are going through the same exact thing simultaneously and that we aren’t crazy for feeling this way! Best of luck to you ❤️
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