IVF Donor Mum: Hi, I am new here and I... - Fertility Network UK

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IVF Donor Mum

LisaBeatrix1980 profile image
11 Replies

Hi, I am new here and I am almost a week into nafarelin as part of my IVF treatment, after which i'll also be on Gonal F, to have a donor child. I am 39 years old who separated from my partner last year, with low AMH levels and trying for a child on my own. It's been a very overwhelming journey to this point, and I know that the physical part is going to be just as tough. I just wanted to say hi, and if anyone has any advice, guidance or experience with going through this process alone I would really appreciate it.

I have a really supportive family and set of friends, and am lucky in lots of ways, and I am trying to remain positive but of course going through this entire process, including the invasive treatment before even getting to the egg retrieval stage can sometimes seem a very big mountain.

Wishing all those going through IVF at the moment all the best luck in the world :-)

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LisaBeatrix1980
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11 Replies
alittlelife profile image
alittlelife

Hi Lisa, welcome to the group. I have always found everyone on here so helpful and almost like a safe space. No matter how odd the ivf question someone is usually able to help! I hope everything is feeling ok so far. I was on Gonal F too and didn’t experience any bad side affects so I hope it won’t be too bad for you either. It’s sounds like you have already been through so much but hang in there - the doctors can do so much even if it takes a little bit of time to find the best approach for you.

My main piece of advice would just be to take each step at a time and expect the unexpected. I have found that there can be days that feel like massive set backs only to be followed by good days too that usually help to frame the setback differently.

On a practical note a piece of chocolate after each jab def helped me ;) oh and I used ice before doing the injection. It made a big difference.

Fingers crossed for you over the next few weeks. Once you start having scans it may feel a bit more exciting and take from some of the hurdles along the way.

Xxx

LisaBeatrix1980 profile image
LisaBeatrix1980 in reply to alittlelife

Thank you and I really appreciate the words of encouragement. A week into strangely now, I’ve had a headache for 2 days but just started my withdrawal bleed so Hurdle one check I guess! I’m hoping the headache eases up once it’s finished. X

Charliebenj profile image
Charliebenj

Hi

I’m also 39 and my OH was removed from the whole process as he couldn’t cope emotionally and he just provided the sperm. I went through ivf with minimal support from anyone, but if I would of have a good support network then I think that is gold and you sure may want their support as it can feel like a long and lonely road.

I only found this forum while in my TWW but this group is also a great help. Share every thought concern, everyone here is willing to help/listen.

My advice would be try to take things a day at a time and just focus on the upcoming milestone. This is a very unpredictable journey so try not to overthink and live in the moment.

All the best with it, you can do this.

X

LisaBeatrix1980 profile image
LisaBeatrix1980 in reply to Charliebenj

Thank you and I’m so sorry you had to go it alone, I hope everything has gone well for you?

Yes right now it feels like SUCH a long road, and because I’m starting to feel a little under the weather on syranel and with my bleed I guess at times I can lean toward it’s still only being week 1 rather than ‘Yes, week one down!’.

Thank you for the words of encouragement x

Hey welcome, like the others have said this forum is a god send.

My best advice is to think of IVF like a hurdle race, you have to get over each one, celebrate the positives and don't be put off by any negatives that crop up. As others have said - things change almost daily and so often there is an element of luck to the outcome. I think its fantastic you have a great support network - we haven't really told anyone about IVF and my partner is a 'practical' type so basically zero support! I have found it quite a lonely experience and struggled that no one knows what I am going through .. so this forum is a great place to share emotions and experience.

Oh and at 39 you are a spring chicken! I am 43 next month!

Masses of luck! xx

LisaBeatrix1980 profile image
LisaBeatrix1980 in reply to

Thank you, for the replies to just this thread I already feel as though I have some companions just in the same headspace as me which is more than I had before.

I think this will be a great support network for me and hopefully I can also help anyone that maybe experiencing the need for some support x

CLDxxx profile image
CLDxxx

Hi Lisa,

Welcome ☺️ just wanted to wish you lots of luck!

I’m also doing this via sperm donor to be a single mum. I’m always here if you have any questions or concerns 😘xxx

LisaBeatrix1980 profile image
LisaBeatrix1980 in reply to CLDxxx

Thank you so much! I probably have so many hahaha. Do you mind me asking how far you are into the journey? xx

CLDxxx profile image
CLDxxx

Haha we learn as we go that's for sure! I had my first frozen transfer a couple of weeks ago which was negative unfortunately. I have a review next week and hoping to go straight in to another one as I'm doing a natural transfer.

How are you feeling? xxx

LisaBeatrix1980 profile image
LisaBeatrix1980 in reply to CLDxxx

I'm sorry to hear that but you sound optimistic and that goes a long way, so I am hoping for the best for you, make sure you let me know how you get on.

I won't lie, I am not sure what's going on, whether it's me, the medication, the situation, but this week I am feeling pretty low, had some spontaneous crying, and have been making irrational decisions haha. Strated to doubt myself a bit, whether I am stable enough right now to be doing this alone. xx

CLDxxx profile image
CLDxxx in reply to LisaBeatrix1980

Thank you 🙏🏼

Ahh I get you! It’ll be the meds and honestly I have felt completely useless at times - even without meds and I’ve wondered how I can do this when I can’t do simple, everyday things!

But we totally can! Everyone struggles whatever their situation is and I believe going through this now is the toughest part of all. I know you have a lot of support but it’s nice to talk to people going through it so remember you’re not alone & us on here understand more than anyone. Xx

Have you read the book ‘Going Solo’ by Genevieve Roberts? It really helped me when I started this xxx

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