26F about to start IVF… I’m overwhelmed

[EmeraldGreenMusic]

Hi all,

Background:

I’ve been with my amazing partner for 10 years, 25M and we want to bring life into the world.

I’ve been reading/watching the process of IVF and it had sucked all the fun out of “trying” for a baby. The whole process seems very invasive. Specifically the injections part of it all is not something I want to go through(despite NOT being scared of needles).

I’ve just had Hysterocopy and I passed out afterwards and I’m a bit traumatised from the experience. I have never experience anything as such and this is coming from someone who’s had multiple minor surgeries/procedures in life.!

I’ve also has a laparoscopy in 2022, which was fine. & now I have to go and get my polyps removed and based on the Hysterocopy I do not want to do that again, but have no choice.

I am a healthily 26 year old, I go gym 3x a week, I’ve never smoked nor drank in my life and do my best to eat healthily. I’m a Caribbean so we value our home cooked food.

I guess I came here to vent because I just feel fed up, like why do I have to put my partner and I through this to have a child?

long story short: how do I put the fun back in the process of IVf? / how do I overcome my worry/fear with IVF?

[JA-fnuk Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Just take everything a step at a time - once treatment starts the whole process will be explained to you by your clinic Remember if there is something you are unsure of ask questions- this can be a very stressful time and being comfortable with the process may help reduce this Take a look at our website fertilitynetworkuk.org for info on all aspects of fertility issues and Support Groups There is a webinar that will be of help -on main page click menu-select Learn about fertility and click on Webinars then scroll to Watch our previous webinars [ all are recorded and stored ] and find What to expect during an IVF cycle

Hope this helps - take care

Janet-Partner

[EmeraldGreenMusic in reply to JA-fnuk]

Thank you so much Janet 🥹

[Babytocome]

I have to say this is a journey, not always enjoyable but you have to put some positive thoughts and be faithful. Good communication with your partner, read about it and have an amazing support group like this one, do help!

I would say it is like when you sit down to play a board game. You always play thinking you are going to win, nobody plays thinking about loosing. Even though you might lose some games, you still play for a win!

[EmeraldGreenMusic in reply to Babytocome]

I love that analogy! Thank you so much for the support. I know it time I’ll put my big girl boots on, now I’m just taking it each step at a time and deal with each moment as it comes

[CazzyM]

As someone who has just had ivf, if you are looking for fun then ivf is not where you will find it. It is gruelling and hard at the best of times. You will feel lonely and wonder if you can keep going.

It will test your relationship to its limits and you will see your friend circle change as you drop people to focus on your goal. Or they drop you because you are no longer fun any more. It will consume every aspect of your life. You will fixated and research things you never even considered before. You will be filled with anxiety like never before.

And you will not come out of it the same person that went in.

It is a hard slog but we put ourselves through it to get a precious chance at being a mum. You hang in there for that golden moment, that light at the end of the tunnel. Then it comes. The joy. When all your hard work, sacrifice and dedication really pays off and you are holding your little bundle of joy in you arms. And then, nothing else matters.

Best of luck with your journey and starting you family. It is invasive in every sense of the word, there is no avoiding that.

[EmeraldGreenMusic in reply to CazzyM]

A bit like life then really 🤣 meaning we put in work, sacrifice and dedication to anything we want in life, I guess this is no different. Thank you for your honesty and kind words & congrats to you!

[Harley1977 in reply to EmeraldGreenMusic]

I cannot agree more with cazzyM above . But just got to be and stay positive in thai journey !

[HCNW in reply to CazzyM]

CazzyM you sound like you have just described me word for word. Everything you wrote relates.

Sadly I’ve had 4 failed IVF so I’ve now had to train myself to bring some fun and positivity back in my life. Me and my husband plan to go for meals after most hospital appointments or walks around the city (if we are not in a hurry to get back to work) we also planned a holiday to turkey and booked it for 3 weeks after the the 2ww to celebrate a positive result or to heal after a negative result. Unfortunately it was another fail result so the holiday gave me something to look forward to and well as allowed us time to sit down to start planning our next round of IVF.

[CazzyM in reply to HCNW]

So sorry you haven’t had your time yet. It really is heart breaking. I really hope you get your go soon x yes you have to do what you can . Being in the ivf vacuum is a weird place and you have to do what you can to get through it xxxx you are tough! You have come this far! Wishing you every success for if you have any more goes xxxx stay strong xxx

[HCNW in reply to CazzyM]

Awww Thank you so much. Yes we are not going to give up. We have stopped calculating the cost of the IVF cycles and just praying for 1 or 2 positive outcomes.

[EmeraldGreenMusic in reply to HCNW]

Sending you some virtual love. 💕

[HCNW in reply to EmeraldGreenMusic]

Thank you ❤️

[Lolalules]

i would say celebrate each milestone of the process and plan in things that you enjoy. For example, a meal out after collection or a massage after first injection. It’s easy to feel like suddenly your whole life is about IVF so ensuring you keep little things for you can help with that a little bit. For my last round we booked a weekend away at what would potentially be the viability scan week (if it worked) so there were was something else to focus on if it didnt go the way i wanted. X

[EmeraldGreenMusic in reply to Lolalules]

Aww this is a very good shout! Thank you! Best of luck with your journey too. 🙏

[Twiglet2]

it is defo not ‘fun’ but it is the process that some of us need to go through to get our miracles so I do look in it fondly that it exists. I have found NOTHING was as bad say the hysteroscopy. The injections are absolutely fine, egg retrieval is fine, scary first time but I didn’t find it sore afterwards, I have defo had worse period pain, and a lovely wee sleep during. The emotional side of it is the tough part so just remember to keep being you and not let it take over your whole life if you can 🤗 good luck!

[EmeraldGreenMusic in reply to Twiglet2]

So kind of you! Thank you very much for your honesty and kind words.