Bit of an odd one and not something I condone but has anyone signed themselves off at the doctors because everything was just too much on a mental and emotional level along with what ever you were going through physically.
I’m not someone who would just go to the doctors and say I want to be signed off but I don’t know if what I am feeling is something worth being signed off for or if I just need to get it together and carry on even though it is affecting my mental health. Just wanted some other people’s thoughts.
Thanks in advance
Kelly
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kelsbels88
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I signed myself off for the 2ww as I was struggling at work and the hormones etc.
I went back Monday, which was too early I think as I'd spent Mon/Tues upset because my boss is not good.
I'm like you, only time I have been signed off in the past was 18 years ago with a suspected slipped disc (I could barely move)
The process alone is mentally and emotionally draining, add the amount of hormones that are being pumped into you and any pressures from work.... My doc literally held her sick note book open like a blank check and asked how long.
Do it, you will thank yourself for it but don't go back until you feel ready.
Thank you for the reply with everything I have going on and how I’m feeling at work I just don’t want to be here I wake up most mornings full of dread along with the dread the night before I feel sick 🤢 I’m not sleeping I have anxiety from a surgery I’m waiting for but have no date for and all the stress is making all of my endometriosis symptoms worse. My husband is supportive but thinks I should be at work and earning not signed off
Hi Kelly. I haven't, but if you feel that some time off will help your mental health then I would recommend you speak to your GP.
When you're feeling low it is very hard to just "pull yourself together" (I hate this term) and carry on so but a good chat with your GP and some time off may help. Do you have family / friends around for support?
Thank you for replying as my response above says there is just so much going on and the stress is playing havoc with my health condition symptoms I don’t know what to do my hubby doesn’t want me to get signed off and says I just need to get through the next 3weeks but I’m not feeling great and that is easier said than done. I don’t phone in sick I’m hardly ever off but just don’t know what to do xx
Hi Kelly, I know exactly how you feel....I’m one of those people who puts the mask on and pushes through especially at work and people keep telling me how ‘strong’ I am. But I’m not. And I regret not having prioritised myself during this hard process that is IVF. YOU are the priority, if you don’t feel like you’re in a good place mentally and emotionally to go to work I am sure your GP will understand and sign you off.
It’s your right. We are human and what we’re going through is tough!
Sending you love and peace ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You absolutely should! Who’s more important than yourself? Your wellbeing, happiness and desires??? It took me a while to understand it but when I did myself thanked me Big time! 💕
Thank you so much I just find that I put myself first and then all these people want something from me and I feel guilty. I think it’s the guilt I can’t deal with x
Just to say I am interested in all the replies. I have carried on going to work through all sorts of carnage over the past three years but now think it’s all coming to a head but feel a fraud about asking to be signed off when I am not actually ill but think I really need it xx
It’s not ‘wrong’, we as human go through highs and lows in our lives. Metal health is a very delicate balance and the worlds expectations of us puts us under pressure and it’s becoming more difficult to deal with everything. But there’s nothing wrong in us. And in having difficult feelings, rest assured dear 💓
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Oh Daisy- a fraud???? No way hun 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸mental health is the same of physical health, the only difference is that people tend to hide it/push through while when you have fever and you can’t walk you can’t!!!! Our mental health is the most important thing ❤️Comes before anything else, work especially!!!!! Xxx
Take the time you need. I understand, if I can physically work, then I struggle with taking time off but I have spoken to a few people in the office (for reassurance... I seem to need this a lot lately 😳) and they all didn't understand why I didn't take longer off.
Your mental and emotional state are the same, if not more important to take care of then your physical state. Don't feel guilty like I did!
Hi lovely, do what’s best for you and your head and how your feeling dong worry about what others think. This journey is brutal, physically we may look ok but inside we break a little every day. The hormones send you all over the place I’ve really struggled with work, my boss has been good but until now I’ve only take 2 separate weeks off one around egg collection and one for my last transfer. This second transfer my consultant and the clinic wrote me a note when I asked and gave 3 weeks for my tww and a week buffer to digest.
Whilst I’m a little bored at home I’m in control and I can be how I want no mask no dread so I encourage you to do what’s best, we have to prioritize ourselves and I don’t think many of us are very good at it. We plough on through and ride the storm and sometimes we just need to take cover and take a break.
It’s so hard - omg on the outside I look as healthy as a fruit (🤦🏼♀️best I could come up with) but in the inside I’m riddled with a disease that has stolen my fertility so we can’t get pregnant - I should say hopefully this will improve after surgery but we have to see- I’m in a job that I’m not happy in and ironically is with little toddlers as a constant reminder of what I’m missing - I have anxiety over the coming surgery and the unknown of when it might be. But on the outside I’m fine because I don’t look sick that’s before we start with the mental aspect of things feeling like a failure because you don’t want to face people who don’t understand but at the same time being guilty because you don’t feel you can do your job. Then with side of pressure because as supportive as my husband is he’s worried that we won’t be able to afford anything if I’m signed off and taking a drop in salary because of my new job.
I’m starting to think it’s just all too much 🤦🏼♀️
Yep! I got signed off for 5 weeks on the end and it was the best thing I ever did. I didn't actually realise how much it was all becoming just too much u til I reflect back. At work I just didn't have anything to give. I was battling my own problems let alone having to deal with all the clients issues. My advise is do it if it feels right for you. I hadn't ever done it before and felt like a fraud as I wasn't physically ill but the doctor really understood xxx
I get it- I work with kids and when it all hits I just can’t deal with them my mood changes and everything. Thee as DS what I mean although I need it I feel like such a fraud xx
We live in a world where we're more worried about what our employers think, made to feel guilty for taking care of ourselves both physically and mentally and it's wrong.
What you are going through is not a papercut. You need to be as healthy as possible, starting with your mental health. We work to live, we don't live to work and if you left, you'd be replaced in a heartbeat.
Take care of yourself and be selfish - you're allowed.
Thank you - love that “it’s not a papercut,” I need to remember that. It’s true I will be replaced in a heartbeat I think that’s what’s making it difficult for me is that I have put myself first as I have an new job but this has all hit at such bad timing and I just feel very guilty xx
Definitely go for it. Like others have said, your mental health is so important.
I took the best part of a week off when I got the news of low AMH and that using donor eggs was really my only option. It was a big shock and I felt like I could not stop crying or concentrate. I took some time away from the pressures of work and just tried to relax and get my head sorted. I spent a lot of the time on the sofa with my cat and netflix, looking up information about donor eggs, and just trying to get my head around my options. The time out helped me so much! I wasn't completely "cured", but I could go through the day at work when I returned without bursting into tears and feeling sick. I also made sure I made time for myself and husband in the evenings and weekends, and just took everything a day at a time. If you don't give yourself this time to look after your mental health, you could end up making yourself really poorly with stress/anxiety/depression, so please consider taking a bit of time off, even if it is just a few days xxx
Hi, this is it I feel some days I’m fine and others I’m crying in the bathroom every hour or just generally not talking to people and then get blamed for being antisocial or lack of communication. Xx
Definitely get yourself signed off. It’s very important to look after your mental health. Don’t understand the complexities of this journey and how it affects you mentally. Take some time out for sure xx
The fact that you are asking means you need off to rest your mind, body and soul. 😘💐💖
My doctor signed me off because of work stress and because there was no way I could keep going with ivf etc at same time.
Just tell how you feel and ALLOW yourself to not be ok.
You need a pause !
Take it!
Putting your wellbeing first is ok!
Others at work don’t care if you’ve enough energy to do a load of washing or clean your cooker . If you hurt your ankle you’d rest? So why any different when you’ve hurt your heart ?
Rest up pet, you’ll feel better in time , you just need to ‘stop the bus 🚌’ and get off for a bit.
Mental health is just as legitimate a reason to need help (or treatment or a break) as physical health. I got signed off for a few weeks after my first cycle failed and I was in a bad way. Tbh the decision was quite easy for me because there was no way I could have worked. I work with vulnerable adults and was a mess so it wasn’t appropriate.
It’s an important time to look after yourself and put your health (both kinds!) first. I’m the same, I feel so guilty if I take even a couple of days off for something, but try to see it from a different perspective. I’m never annoyed or let down by colleagues if they’re off sick, so try to think of it like that. Work will survive and still be there when you’re ready xx
I agree it is just as legitimate and important a reason the problem is from the aspect of the employer this is not so true unless your in a position where you get on with your boss. Otherwise as far as some are concerned invisible illnesses aren’t as relevant because they aren’t as visible which is wrong but true in some cases.
That’s the thing I want to be at work I’m that person who wants to be earning who doesn’t want to feel like a burden on the system and has seen so many people I’ve true years take the mick that I know if I go home sick or phone in I’m bad but this feels so different because it’s invisible xx
Hi lovely. I am a very work-y person and have had so much guilt about taking time off. I didn't for the first cycle as I just wanted to "push through" even the physical side of it! But since then it has been very mentally and emotionally much worse. I had two weeks off when I had a miscarriage (wish I'd taken longer). I had a month off on my third cycle as I was finding it all too much, and even then I found myself having a lot of guilt around asking for this. My GP was very accommodating and even offered more time off, but as usual: I wanted to go back to work.
Your word "condone" indicates you have guilt around it too. And I just wanted to say not to. You have to make yourself the priority in this, as even if your work is lovely, they won't put you first! 3 weeks isn't a massive amount of time in your earning lifetime. I'm currently on another week off as I'm having physical side effects and I'm struggling to even keep on top of stacking the dishwasher and laundry (not the biggest jobs). I wish I wouldn't feel so much guilt and seriousness about taking time off work. I have cried numerous times at work, I have gone back when I've not been ready, and my boss has even suggested the work stress caused my miscarriage, so I know they don't care about me. Put yourself first! Lots of love. xxx
I would say if you think you would benefit from it do it. It's so hard to give ourselves permission to take time off and look after ourselves but it's honestly important that we do - you matter too. I took about 5 weeks off work in Sept/Oct following 2 years of IVF treatment and a miscarriage. I knew I wasn't in a good place but still didn't know if I wasn't ok "enough" to merit time off. After a few weeks I started to actually feel a bit more myself again and it was only then that I realised how bad a place I had got too. It was 100% the right thing to do for me and I would hugely encourage you to do it if you feel like it would help. The impact on my mental health has been the hardest thing of my IVF journey so far and it doesn't seem to be well understood or supported (in my experience) so sometimes you have to trust your perspective and advocate for yourself. Hope whatever decision you make you start to feel better soon. You're not alone in this xx
Signing you off means you completely can’t go back to work do you mean asking for a doctors note as to sign you off completely a doctor has to access if your fit to work over a number of weeks /months if you don’t think your fit for work it’s possible to ask the g.p for a fit note if you explain your symptoms but indefinitely has to be done over a period of time x
Also I’ll say it’s good enough to sign of for as it’s your mental health
I can’t add much more than others have but agree you should definitely put yourself & your needs first. If this was your friend what would you advise her to do? You have your answer. All the best hope you don’t have to wait too much longer for your surgery ( fellow endo sufferer here) I know from experience how frustrating that is but it’s getting you closer towards your end goal xxx
I completely eco what everybody else has said. Your mental health is very important and you need to put yourself first. It’s also something that doctors are taking very seriously and I don’t think you’ll have a problem requesting to be signed off. IVF is one of the toughest things I’ve been through, it’s physically and emotionally draining and many people just don’t understand that. I will be putting myself first going into my next round. xx
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