How easy did you find it to be signed off?

Update! Spoke to my head teacher who has been so lovely and understand I may not be in. Apparently has been there 3 times although unsuccessful. Feel better now as I know she understands it all and she said they will deal with any classes or issues. My main concerns were Year 11 and my year group.

Next visit in a week or so is the doctor! Xxx

Hi all,

I am planning to start cycle 2 beginning of April. This is at the start of the school Easter Holidays. I'm a teacher and a HoY at a tough secondary. I could've started my cycle last period but I didn't feel emotionally ready after the last one and with how stressful work is.

I don't want to postpone again and again as when is the right time! I've already put the school first in a way.

If my treatment works and is similar to last time then I would be going for EC and even ET within the first week of return to school so would be calling in sick. But now after experiencing a cycle and how it felt in work, I know I can't do it again so want the 2ww off. This means being signed off.

I feel somewhat guilty as it's getting near exams for a year 11 group I picked up after Christmas but I'm revising Loads with them until easter.

Are doctors really understanding of being signed off? Would they do it for 2-3 weeks if I asked? What would they sign you off for?

I'm planning on seeing my new head soon to give her the heads up. She knows I had a failed cycle. But I don't want to say I'm getting signed off more like I'd be off treatment dependant. Xxx

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  • You can self certify for half of that. And doctors are supportive. I've read lots of leaflets and supporting docs where it suggests an early chat with your dr can help you relax now in the knowledge they'll sign you off. You are entitled to the time off. This should be the least of your worries xxx

  • Hi @emu2016 I was thinking same about early chat but was more thinking of first part of treatment. Do you think I should call up and just get next available non emergency one? Especially since apps are impossible to come by!!! I'd rather talk to one face to face first and then hope I can call up when I need cert to not take up app space x

  • Yes, just book an appointment to discuss your fertility treatment or see if you can have a phone appointment.

    You might find it best to tell your boss soon too. I can't describe the relief I felt once he knew. x

  • Yea I will call gp surgery this week and get one booked in. Non emergency.

    My head knows about the failed one. She was in meeting staff in December before she started officially in Jan and I asked the temp head to give her heads up. She said they would continue to support me. Just feel bad that Im planning to be off for a few weeks but then again if she knows it may happen she can plan for it.

    Just need to book a meeting with her too! X

  • Hi allieb21! When we asked our fertility team about being signed off for the 2ww they said that was something our GP 'could do' - they didn't seem to think it would a problem.

    If you're worried about your students and already feeling a bit guilty at the the idea of not being there for a couple of weeks, it might be better to have a conversation with your Head sooner rather than later; you're entitled to a family and family life, and if that means having some time off, well, that's what you need to do. At least if you give your Head plenty of notice she'll have time to put things in place to cover your absence effectively.

    I did my first (failed) cycle whilst also working as an NQT in a special school and, after discussing it with my husband, our fertility team, and my union, I ended up requesting - and getting - early release from contract before we started our 2nd cycle; I just could not give the kids the attention they deserved and also be in the right physical and emotional place for a successful IVF cycle.

    Good luck with everything - I really, really hope everything goes well for you!

    H xx

  • Hi Hun that's for your reply. My clinic said same!

    Yea I do want to talk to her soon as we've only 4 weeks until easter. I need to put this first and know I did everything this time in the 2ww to rest x

  • Never put work first again..I learnt that and am sure was why my first cycle was such a disaster.there never will be a good time and I am in education too..there really is always a reason at work to not be off and what I realised which I really needed to realise is that the world continues without me at work and we are not an emergency service..this is your priority and we are in stressful jobs which I am sure doesn't help. My gp was great..signed me off no worries for a month. I went to her before treatment to see the lay of the land and then told my boss I was planning to be signed off for treatment. I went to see gp in my last planned day of work so all worked well for me. I knew that was when I was going off so I was able to round up work as much as possible. My gp just put reason as debility..had to check meaning as had never heard that word also I test on a Tuesday this time and have rest of that week off as last time I went back day after bfn and was a mess..good luck with it all and please please prioritise this over work xxxx

  • I really hope it goes well for you this time - fingers crossed! xx

  • Ok I so already replied to this and it didn't work!

    I had to google that word that's great!

    I know I need to remember that I need to be the priority. Can't help feeling a bit guilty but everything something kicks off at work or we get told to do something which stresses me out, I think of how I'd feel if in treatment.

    We have kids especially who are quite boisterous and push around etc on corridors. I need to be away from that especially in treatment.

    I only took EC, ET and 3 days off last time but I felt so overwhelmed at work. I need total calm!

    Just but scared doc will refuse but think, like one of the girls said above, I need to see one in advance for that chat!

    Are you teaching? Xxx

  • Hello again!

    My GP was great with my second cycle and signed me off for 4 weeks, annoyingly we had to freeze our one embie as I had OHSS, so I phoned the Dr again and they signed me back to work, saying that next time I just had to give them a buzz and they would sign me off as and when I needed it. They totally understand that ivf is super stressful. Hope all goes well xx

  • Seriously this is the 3rd time I've posted this! Not sure if the app is being weird.

    Anyway that's good to know. Hope my gp is good. I think a heads up would be best aswell and then call when I need cert I'm hoping?

    When's your FET? How are you x

  • I'm ok, just started my FET yesterday, and today I'm feeling a bit odd! I'm very excited to finally be getting our embie back, but right now feeling rather hormonal! it does all seem less hectic than a full cycle, but I'm going to get signed off again nearer the time to transfer as it's crazy at school at the moment! Youre definitely doing the right thing putting you first, school will have to wait! Xx

  • I don't even know how a FET works. Do you have to take meds for a while first? When is ET?

    Really hope it works out for you Hun!

    Yea suppose have to think school is for 30odd years, this is a last NHS opportunity! X

  • Yeah you take oestrogen to thicken the womb lining for around two weeks then after a couple of monitoring scans technically they can do ET, oh and the delightful cyclogest, can't forget that!!! Keep me posted how you get on! Xxx

  • Really hope it works for you. Keep me updated! Yes will stay in touch thank you so much x

  • After 3 failed cycles all that I have only had a day or two off, this cycle I am planning having the 2ww off, I work at a college so know what you mean about feeling guilty but need to put myself first. I spoke to my GP who is super supportive and has said she will sign me off and if it's a bfp she will happily sign me off for a further couple of weeks until we know everything is ok x

  • Thats great Hun it's good to hear your gp is so supportive. When is your cycle starting?

    Thinking now that I just get an app as soon as I can to put my mind at ease x

  • I have already started my cycle it's our 1st DE cycle so slightly different to other 3.

    I saw my GP about 3 weeks ago and she said I just need to ring the surgery with dates and she will sort it out, she understands this has been going on a few years and the stress and emotions it brings with it.

    Defo see your GP tho, I am dreading telling work tho lol xx

  • I will thanks Hun. It's just the head I really need to speak to. She only started in Jan but was in and out before Christmas and I asked the temp head to tell her about my failed ivf so she is aware and said she will support. I just feel bad regarding the kids but I do have to come first.

    I really hope you are successful xxx

  • My boss is supportive and has been great so far, I just feel bad for my students as they are approaching the end of the academic year, but there's no good time as Aug/sept it's all New intake etc so I am just going to have to go for it πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

    Good luck and keep in touch πŸ’•

  • That's exactly how I feel. It's never ever a good time in my opinion!

    Will do and same to you! Thanks Hun xxx

  • I told my boss today and she was totally fine and really supportive and I did feel as though a weights been lifted, I am trying not to think to far ahead and about students completing etc just going to focus on the hear and now and worry about the rest later xx

  • That's really good Hun. I hope I feel better myself! I'm so wound up at the moment. I keep reminding the deputy of my supposed plan as I need him to not rely on me! I need to put me first as sick of school coming first now x

  • I am quite lucky as my boss has been through ivf years ago so she understands the pressureand emotions etc. My GP put in prospective she said what's 10 days off in your working career for something so so important xx

  • That's so true! Plus end of the day year 11 need to take responsibility. I'm revising loads up to easter and then they are on their own for a while. My exams are middle of may. But I've had enough x

  • I remained in work for much of my last cycle and returned to work after 4 days after my miscarriage last October. I know now that pushing myself to work through it was a bad idea and I didn't allow myself enough time to heal after the miscarriage.

    I feel the primary cause of my quincy in January which prevented our second ivf was that i had pushed myself too much and was too hard on myself.

    I was signed off with quincy in January then the thought of returning to my stressful job during ivf was repellant to me so my doctor signed me off with stress at home. Unfortunately, my cycle was cancelled on ec day. I start another cycle in a few weeks and my partner, counsellor and Accupuncturist both feel I should extend my sick note for this too and so do I, despite feelings of guilt, I have to give this my best shot. My counsellor said I'm clearly a conciencious person who likes to do her job well but right now I need to make ivf my job - I think we all do.

    Good luck with your cycle and I hope you're able to get the time you need. Xx

  • I see a counsellor too and she also thinks I need to stop thinking of others first! Just can't help it!

    I think if you've been through it before, you are more knowledgable to the emotions and stresses of it all so can think of what it will be like again + work. You are right, us first!

    Hope it all goes well for you xxx

  • This is time and opportunity limited stuff at the end of the day and we have to give it priority and practice the self-care and compassion we truly need during this emotional roller coaster.

    Good luck with it lovely xx

  • Hiya I totally understand where you coming from and you clearly concerned about the kids as well as their exams. Being a mum to an 11 year old daughter who has been given a new teacher because her original teacher had to take emergency leave for a year!I know how tough it has been for her to change teacher. I would suggest come totally clean with your head so she can plan for your replacement cover .(even for just 2 weeks) The GP will sign you off no problems but being straight and honest with employer was key for me. This will also make you feel relaxed in your 2ww.

    All the very best xx

  • I'm going to see my doctor on 7th to see just how easy it is, I'm hoping it's easy,

    I'm being pre prepared lol as I don't start my 2nd cycle till hopefully April, just waiting on a blood result,

    I want to do it differently this time and wanted to have this time round off work, good luck with your cycle

  • Definitely c your gp sooner rather than later so then u can relax knowing they will sign u off, good luck xxx

  • Thanks all.

    Made a doctors appointment for a couple weeks away and seeing the head on Wednesday. Each time something crap happens at work it's just another nail to say i so need to be away from here for treatment and beyond!!!! X

  • ive had this today on sunday i got told i need another scan tuesday so i went in wprk this morning to tell them i would need to leave work at 11and be bsck as soon as i could our clinic os 45 min drive away and that i would happily do a split shift as i work in a nursery. the response was well not really as its not enough notice. so i said i cant give you a weeks notice at all when they say i need scans as theirs a problem i need scans ive give you 24 hour notice. i said i could of just phoned in first thing in morning and said i cant come in today im not well. at least i offered to do split shift. after today i went home spoke with hubby and if it carries on i shall be asking for a sick note because ivf has to come first.

  • Definitely put it first. No one thanks you for doing what you can to help. I know I need a complete switch off from school x

  • totally realised that today. i felt so angry for trying to work with them and do a longer day but they were really unhappy about it. this is our second cycle and its got to come first this time.

  • I'm in the same boat. School was very supportive last time when I was in and out. I had 5 off including EC and ET but it's great having hindsight as now I know what to expect. I need to get myself away from work and stop feeling guilty. It'll never be a good time and i don't have forever and never ending chances. I'm annoyed today too. Hopefully the doc will be supportive when I see her as well as the head x

  • i got the what if ofsted come. well if any one is ill they phone up first thing in morning saying not coming in im offering to do half and half. start at 7 go at 11 come back and be there til six. least i no for in future

  • It's rubbish as you are trying to help and then don't care. Stupid jobs x

  • Update at top of page. Hurdle one completed! Xxx

  • Brilliant! Now you can get with your job whilst you're there and be confident that you'll be able to put yourself first when you need to.

    H xx

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