Teacher going through (4th round) of IVF..... did any other teachers take ‘time off’?

[Murfster]

Hi, I’ve just had my et in our fourth round of ivf (First fet). We had two cancelled cycles over the summer holidays which caused me huge amounts of stress and I’m worried about how to manage work and stress levels this time round. I’m a PE teacher and Head of Year so there isn’t a moment of space when I’m at school, and lots of meetings and fixtures etc after school. I know my stress levels are still high from the summer and I went to see my doctor ahead of this transfer for advice and all they could offer (when I listed all my symptoms) was either sleeping tablets or trying just to ‘chill’....... I was signed off (by the same doctor) on my last cycle and feel even more stressed this time round and just don’t know what to do to get a bit of breathing space from a demanding job. I was surprised not to be signed off as I’m struggling to remember how to spell common words, remember words, my short term memory is appalling (even within 20 seconds I can forget something), I’m struggling to plan lessons, forget that I’ve done work so am redoing it before I realise (sometimes up to three times!) my teeth and jaw are sore from where I must be clenching my teeth..... I won’t bore you with all my symptoms but wondered what other teachers have done in a similar situation......?XxxX

[Alessia]

Hello deary. How are you today? I hope everything is going fine for you. Firstly it seems that you are a very hard working person. I like that about you... Being busy a lot means you have done a lot of things. Don't stress about this too much. think of yourself as lucky to have thi position in your job. However that won't actually work like magic, stress sill wont be absent. What you have to do is what you said. take some days off to get your mind off of things. That will help you a lot. Maybe if you can do that take payed vacations... I don't know how much possible it is for you, but it would be great to take at least a few weeks off. Just like stress can prevent a couple from conceiving it can also ruin your IVF for you. I really hope that doesn't happen. So yeah do take a pause and focus on your other side of your life. WIsh you all the best dear. I really hope this work fine for you!

[7AVA]

Hi Murfster, I’m a teacher too but in primary and I lead PE. I’m also just about to have a fet transfer. On my first round, which was fresh, I had 2 days off after embryo transfer. This time I plan to go back in the next day - for me, this feels the least stressful option as I really don’t want to sit around thinking about whether it’s worked or not and will find it difficult to distract myself if I’m off. However, I think it’s personal choice and I would have thought if you asked your doctor to sign you off, he would do. You must do what you feel is best for you and although missing fixtures etc will be tricky, the school will find a way to cover, they always do. Put yourself first xxxx

[Murfster in reply to 7AVA]

Hi 7AVA, thanks for taking the time to reply! Hope all goes well for you! Will be keeping everything crossed! I’ve read lots about people asking to be signed off by the doctor and wondered if you can really be that forthright/brazen about it? Feel like I would be being outrageous by raising it with them......?

I do need to learn to put myself first though! Xx

[7AVA in reply to Murfster]

I’ve been to the doctor before where he’s asked me what I wanted. If you want to be signed off because you’re feeling stressed and your doctor won’t then I would go to a different doctor xxx

[vic77 in reply to 7AVA]

My gp signed me off no bother. I work in education too so I know how stressful it can be. Sounds to me like you should be off your work..prioritise yourself xxx

[Allybally81]

Hi there, not a teacher, I'm a nurse in a demanding admissions unit. Just gone through FET and prior to this I explained to my GP that I was worried about making a mistake at work, that wasn't sleeping well and I know this wouldn't be beneficial to my ivf cycle. He signed me off work without a second thought. I've heard of someone else at the clinic who was struggling with work but GP refused to sign her off work so the consultant in hospital did this instead, maybe this would be an option for you? I would have hated to try struggle on when really you should be able to rest and give yourself the best possible chance. Good luck with everything xxx

[Aleelilook]

Hello! I'm a drama teacher and head of performing arts, and my god it's stressful!! I was signed off over my second round as the stress was too much, unfortunately it ended in a mmc. During my third I stayed at work as it was the end of the summer term, and in November we are having our fourth round and I'm going to get signed off for 3 weeks, and if (fingers crossed) we get a positive I think I'll stay off until my first scan!! The last 3 weeks I have been admitted twice to hospital via ambulance with a heart rate of 170 and bp through the roof, and my husband is adamant it is stress from work, so I'm taking a step back! My head has been wonderful and very supportive, but the job we do is hard, and you have to put yourself first! Xxx

[Murfster in reply to Aleelilook]

Oh my goodness Aleelilook! Am glad you are listening to your body and taking that step back! Thanks for replying and good luck! I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you xx

[cls37]

Hi, I feel for you. I had my first cycle which fell at the end of the summer term. I am an FS2 teacher and coordinate nursery so that time of year is very busy with transition, trips etc! I didn't take any time off and even had to go in the day after egg collection despite advice from the clinic to stay off. It was a non negotiable that I had to go in. Have just been talking Tony gut as am hopefully starting again next month..,, I know I need to take things slowly next time it's just trying to work out a way how!! I completely sympathise with you it's so hard xxxx

[Murfster in reply to cls37]

Hi cls37, gosh that’s tough (putting it very mildly!!) to go back in after ec! Please put yourself first this time round and look after yourself. Can you use any of the sick days we are entitled to, to give you some recovery time/breathing space? Xx

[Lolepops]

Hi I am a primary school teacher . I too tried to fit it around the holidays but damn periods don’t always allow this !!! I started injections in September ( first week back worst timing ever ) . I had two days off after egg collection and they I had the egg transfer last Saturday - I have been off all week . I was only planning mon tues and wed but came down with a cold so School advised me not to go in . To be honest I think it’s made me worse as I’ve been googling - overthinking - stressing all week . I feel it hasn’t worked and have spent the last three days crying and I’m worried about how I’m going to get through this week till test day ( thurs ). I think I would just play it by ear . Have you spoken to your headteacher? I have been very lucky as the school has really supported me. I just worry that if this fails they will just see me as a burden as I’ll have to go through it all again . Good luck with everything xxxx

[Murfster in reply to Lolepops]

Thanks for your reply Lolepops. I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you for Thursday! Advice from my acupuncturist on one of my stress days was just to take one day at a time and I know it sounds easy, but it’s got me through some tough days. Xxxxx

[Lolepops in reply to Murfster]

Thank you. Would you recommend having acupuncture? I’m considering it for next time ( hopefully there won’t be one!) xxx

[Murfster in reply to Lolepops]

I’ve been having acupuncture for the last year and my acupuncturist has managed to move my ovulation date from day 10 to day 13/14. I was told that all parts of my cycle need to be ‘right’ to help with the embryos implanting when they went back. She also helped strengthen my ‘pulses’ (still don’t quite understand that part of it). I can’t say found it relaxing in an initial level, but maybe it did help with that. But definitely saw an improvement in my cycle in terms of stability (temperature charting evidenced this) and with ovulation date. She also said she could help thicken the lining of my womb. Was a bit disappointed that my clinic seemed dismissive of the work she was doing.... made me feel like I had sated time. But felt I agreed with my acupuncturist in that I had to get everything in the right place before trying again.... just hadn’t envisaged it taking so long! Had 2 embryos transferred on Friday..... so hope a year of preparation (after three failed cycles) works!

Hope this helps and keeping everything crossed for you xxxx

Hope you don’t mind that I’ve copied and pasted my reply to someone else who asked about acupuncture! X