Signed a contract: Hello, ladies! I'm... - Fertility Network UK

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Signed a contract

Lacerta profile image
16 Replies

Hello, ladies!

I'm not used to sharing my infertility issues, but I was advised to do so. Well, I don't know how to start and basically I don't know how it should be, so I just start from the latest news. I have congenital absence of uterus and vagina, although my ovaries function. Few years ago I married a guy made of gold and we want to have a child or even two. The only option for us is surrogacy as we are not ready for adoption, at least for now. My ovaries are placed too high for egg retrieval, so the baby will have only my husband's genes. Anyway, it's better than nothing, right?

We had an appointment in fertility clinic last week. Everything went great and after having our questions answered we signed a contract with the clinic. I'm glad to say we are super excited now and we will be parents in a year or so. Maybe I'm not the only one here at this stage?

Best wishes xxx

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Lacerta profile image
Lacerta
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16 Replies
bestfriendever profile image
bestfriendever

hi dear, feel sorry for you.

My story is quite similar. In previous life I was a man haha but inside me lived a woman who wanted to have a big family, loving husband.. I struggled for my place under the sun. Years of expectations gave the results. The black sheep from the childhood is disappeared and I opened out the wings.

As I don't have any reproductive organs we decided to do a surrogacy(yes, I'm married and have a wonderful husband, sounds like a fairytale)

The main problem is the country, we are from the states. It's cost a fortune to have a baby using the surrogacy service(we don't want to waste our money, too much have been wasted already)

I was advised to go to Ukraine, but I'm curious of your experience, what was your first impression about the clinic? Where have you been? In what country?

Lacerta profile image
Lacerta in reply tobestfriendever

Oh, I didn't expect this could be real. I'm glad that you have your happy ending. I can't imagine those tough times you've been through. I know what it's like to be a black sheep, believe me. Your story is impressive and you should be proud of yourself, hun!

I'm from NV, USA and I know it's damn expensive. We can't afford treatment for more than $35k, and you should know it's almost impossible here. So, we looked through European clinics and yeah, you know Ukrainian clinics are the cheapest. I hope it doesn't mean there are more chances for negative result or for worse threatment.

bestfriendever profile image
bestfriendever in reply toLacerta

haha, everything can be real including me. There are lots of people like me( the states) and it's not weird but I had a thought that people on this forum wouldn't except me like a real woman.

Yes, I was thinking about ukraine many times. We are about to contact this clinic but I'm not sure whether this is the right decision. My husband supports me, treats like a queen and he will agree with me in any case, so the first and the hardest step is to go there.

Lacerta profile image
Lacerta in reply tobestfriendever

Oh I forgot to tell about the clinic, too many thoughts in my head, sorry. Our initial consultation was on Wed and it went off without a hitch. We were met by an English-speaking coordinator, she was very sweet and told us everything we should do that day. My husband had a blood test and semen analysis and then we had a doctor consultation and discussed contract terms with the head of English department. We got answers we needed and signed. Now it's our time to wait...

bestfriendever profile image
bestfriendever in reply toLacerta

Nice, it sounds great. I was thinking about this clinic. My husband wants me to contact them. But I have a doubt about it. What is I'm not suitable for them person. But according to their requirements, I have to be a woman and be married and I am. I'm married ad I'm a woman, but I'm not sure about my husband health. To my mind it's better to speak with clinic.

Sorry for my verbal flow

crlnbr profile image
crlnbr

Oh dear! That's awful to hear such a story.. But you must remember that you are not alone and you have your DH who adores you.. and I believe that there are many other people who support you.. Unfortunately such sad stories happen in our lives.. and as far as I know one in 4500 women has the same diagnosis as you do.. so just do not give up.. Go for a surrogacy and don't be afraid of anything .. Great that you've already found a clinic to cooperate with :) I'm sure there are good specialists and they will do their best to help you.. Wish you luck there xx

Lacerta profile image
Lacerta in reply tocrlnbr

Thank you for your support! What does DH stand for? I'm sorry I'm new to such forum things. You're right, I know 3 women with the same abnormality and we got to know each other by accident, not in a clinic I mean. I wish it could be not as widespread as it is.

Anyway, we are moving on and hoping for the best. We were assured that everything gonna be alright and there is no need to worry. We tend to believe. Good luck!

bfrida profile image
bfrida

hi, my congrats. we also signed the contract a few days ago. As I failed 4 cycles of ivf we decided to try one more time. Our next step is de conception. We have already visited the country abroad because it's forbidden in my motherland. To our big surprise, everything was wonderful, we had an informative consultation. The manager told us about all services they have. we chose the affordable for us and of course, saw the donor database. So, we are super excited about future steps.

Lacerta profile image
Lacerta in reply tobfrida

I'm sorry to hear about your failed cycles..you must be a brave person if you are still up to this. May I ask you why your previous attempts failed? Where are you from? We also had an access to a donor database, I like the process of choosing a donor, it's so exciting. We tried to choose a young woman who looks a lot like me, although the manager told us she witnessed that babies born by using donor eggs or sperm very often look like intended parents hahaha

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toLacerta

thank you for warm words. Well, my mother land is Germany, but my husband is from England. We met many years ago and felt in love from the first sign.

I don't want to speak about my failed cycles, sorry, the only thing I can tell is it all because of my age and embryo quality. That's why we undergo the de treatment.

Honestly, we were surprised, we didn't expect to see lots of beautiful donors. My husband decided to choose 3 donors which were look like me. The doctor told us one of them will be stimulated in order to get the eggs for us.

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33

Certainly your verdict is cruel, but it’s not the verdict to be childless nowadays. You know how high the medical technics have been advanced last 10 years.

I was on the same stage as you, and I was excited, I was inspired.

My diagnosis doesn’t sound so tragically but its only the first impression. I suffer from insulin-dependent diabetes and I can’t be through the stimulation or carry my own healthy child.

Now I’m at the final stretch of my path. I’m waiting for the ending of our docs preparation to leave back home with my sweet baby.

I wish you have an amazing year and more amazing the next years after this, dear

Lacerta profile image
Lacerta in reply toBlooo33

I reckon you are right, Bloo. There is no absolute infertility, you know. I'm sorry for what happened to you. My cousine was diagnosed with diabetes and I've seen what it's like, don't want anybody to go through this. I hope you are still inspired.

Do you have any problems with legal part? How long does it take you to gather all docs for embassy? Do you need to have a DNA test before leaving the country? Where are you from?

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply toLacerta

Hello, thank you, you are absolutely right. Right now having a baby I comprehend that it’s true and every problem can be solved. We’re from Finland.

I have said somewhere in these threads that the time of our staying here depends on your citizenship.

Sometimes it takes more than two months but I think we will finish during this March.

Indeed the DNA test is our main guarantee to leave from here with our child.

Lacerta profile image
Lacerta in reply toBlooo33

Oh, I see. we asked about this while at our initial consultation and manager assured us it won't take long and they have experience in working with our embassy for years. I'm just curious what happens to couples from different places, you know someone's experience could be useful. you are still there, in Ukraine, right? You wrote that your husband had to leave on business, pity. What are you doing there alone with your little miracle? Aren't you afraid of being alone?

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply toLacerta

Yeah, I saw that is so. The someone else's experience is a part of our lives too, the same as our own experience, it can impact on us and teach us, so we need to pay attention on other’s experience and try not to be indifferent.

Right, we’re in Kiev. I can’t complain that it’s very difficult to be here now. It would be absurd. because when I look at my little prodigy I get such kind of emotions ooo this feeling breaks all my fears.

Everything must be A1, dear. Thank you

Steisy profile image
Steisy

Hello! I’m so happy for you! We are just on our way to find a good clinic. We are looking for egg donation. Of course I’m sorry that you can’t give a birth to your own child but still you have a great husband who supports you. Hope in the nearest future we can also sign contract with some fertility clinic. By the way where are you from? Can you tell me what clinic you have chosen for yourself?

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