Ivf: Hi everyone, I am new to this so... - Fertility Network UK

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fertilitystruggle profile image

Hi everyone, I am new to this so just wanted to try this to help my self feel a little better!

I have been trying to have a child for past 3 years now and finally had my frozen embryo transfer 8 days ago! I am so nervous and feel mentally and physically drained. I try and not think about it and not be negative but I can’t help my self but be an emotional reck every single day! I have had cramping, sore breast and back pain!

Any advice for anything I can do to not cry and distract me self for another 6 Days!

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17 Replies
PurplePiggie profile image
PurplePiggie

Hi, I haven't got to this stage yet myself, but I've seen some of the other ladies mention the mindful IVF app, might be worth a look, or even just a regular mindfulness app, I find taking some time out for myself to do mindfulness/meditation really helps when I'm struggling. Sending you massive luck, hope it's your time 😘 x

fertilitystruggle profile image
fertilitystruggle in reply to PurplePiggie

Hi purplepiggie,

Thank you so much for your advice, I will definitely be trying these apps today!

I hope all goes well for you and you get pregnant naturally even before you get to my stage!

Good luck to you and I hope it all goes well❤️

PurplePiggie profile image
PurplePiggie in reply to fertilitystruggle

No worries 😘 thanks so much, my fingers are permanently crossed haha xx

KiboXX profile image
KiboXX

Hi fertilitystruggle,

Welcome! I know the tww can be so stressful, I would tell you to relax but I know that’s impossible!

Make plans, find a show to binge on, go for a nice long walk. Anything to keep busy! It feels like a lifetime but you’re already over half way there, you’ve got this 💪🏻

Sending you lots of positive vibes for OTD xx

fertilitystruggle profile image
fertilitystruggle in reply to KiboXX

Hi Kiboxx

It’s absolutely impossible to try and relax. I feel like I go thru these stages on a daily basis and when I think about it I almost feel embarrasses

1. start thinking it’s not going to work

2. start crying and having an emotional meltdown.

3. believing this will never work for me and questioning god why do I have to go thru this.

4. then tell my self to calm down it’s just a few more days to go.

It sounds crazy but this is how my 8 days have gone😂

The only thing which has kept my busy so far has been work. But I will try using the mindful ivf app to help my self get through this🤞🏼

Thank you for writing to me- it feels great to know I’m not alone in this.

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat

My journey sounds similar to yours. I had my transfer on Monday so much waiting still left . I’m trying not to think about it much until Monday because my husband is away with work. It’s a hard wait and you’re mind jumps in and out of the negative puddles doesn’t it? 🥴🙄🤩 I’ve decided that using my energy to be negative until I know I need to be isn’t great for my mental health . I’ve got myself into a ‘so maybe it will/ maybe it won’t mode’. I’ve also tried to think that if it doesn’t work .... it’s not a NO to my prayers just a NOT YET. I’m

Using the mindful ivf app which has taught me to breathe when I panic and most importantly .... to relax. I didn’t realise how much effort it takes to actually relax when you’re uptight ?! My counsellor also advised me to get some mindfulness puzzle books , word searches and colouring things which are great when you need a distraction and to pass some time 😘 I haven’t moved much since my transfer , watched lots of tv. What have you been up to ? Isn’t it great to share these tricky things with others?

You are not alone

I’m marching behind ya 🤩

You’ve got this 👌🏻

If you’ve managed 6 days, you can manage another 😘😘😘😘😘💐💐💐💐💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Hugs of understanding

Rhinocat x 💐

fertilitystruggle profile image
fertilitystruggle in reply to RhinoCat

Hi Rhinocat!

Thank you so much for your advise, I will definitely try using the mindful ivf app.

First 4 days all I did was cry nonstop and I felt really bad for my husband as I kept being so negative. Im at this stage now where I just want to know but I’m trying to stay calm which seems so hard. It is quite funny we never realise how something easy as staying calm can become such a stressful task.

Your so lucky you can rest at home and just enjoy watching tv all day. First 2 days I did rest up and didn’t do much but sadly after that I had to return to work as I couldn’t take any more time off. I have had quite a lot of cramping but it gets me excited as it makes me feel something good may come along after all this pain. Iv also had bad lower back pain and my breast have gone larger and very tender. What effects have you had since your transfer?

Do let me know how your results go, I truly pray everyone in this world gets to experience the amazing journey of motherhood. We all deserve this so much as we all voluntary choose to go thru years of mental and physical stress all for a child which will be worth it.

❤️👶🏻

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to fertilitystruggle

If you feel like crying just cry and maybe you’ll feel better after, no point holding it in because that always feels worse 😘 I’ve just had two evenings of cramps and sore head last night and this morning . All down to hormone medication I imagine . Nothing major to report yet, I’m just trying to be really really good to myself 🤣🤣🤣🤣 amazing how crap we are to ourselves before ivf !!!! I’ve at least learned to take care of myself a bit better. I read a post earlier that some women get symptoms some don’t and either way can mean positive or negative . I understand how frustrated you must be, nearly at test day must be worse than just starting the wait 🥴 just take it easy at work , do as little as you can get away with and if it’s possible steal 10 mins to listen to music whilst you pretend to check emails etc 😘😘🤣🤣🤣🤣 remember: you are doing the best you can ! 😊 that app has anxiety and sleep help too 😘💖💖💖💖

Hugs

Rhinocat x

Ps can you take a few sick days if our need to?

fertilitystruggle profile image
fertilitystruggle in reply to RhinoCat

I almost cry every single day without a fail lol but it truly does help and makes me feel prepared for the next day! I just want to close my eyes and for the days to go past.

They do say cramps can be a good sign so fingers crossed for both of us! We deserve every moment to spoil our self because know one can truly understand how stressful this stage is for us all. I have had my husband get me things I have wanted to eat and called them cravings so I can get my way which has been an amazing perk!  I will definitely using the app today and hopefully it will help the time fly!

I could take sick days if I needed them but I thought maybe I shouldn’t as staying at home will make me keep thinking about the same things again and again.. which will drive me more crazier then I already am. I also thought maybe if the treatment didn’t work for me I might need some time off to heal physically and mentally especially and that will be a good time to take some sick days off!

Is this your first round of IVF too?

💖💖💖💖💖💖

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to fertilitystruggle

Yep, first round for us. I’ve watched three friends go through it all several times. It’s tough . Does your clinic offer counselling as part of your thing?

You will get through this 😘 it just might be a bit difficult 💐💖💖🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

fertilitystruggle profile image
fertilitystruggle in reply to RhinoCat

Its my first round of IVF too maybe that’s the reason I am so anxious as I really don’t know what to expect and truly hope neither of us have to go thru this again. I'm having my IVF done thru NHS but they do offer counselling but its difficult to make the time with work but will try if things don’t go as planned in a few days! is your private or NHS😘😘💐💐

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to fertilitystruggle

I’m private as nhs option is too slow. It’s a rollercoaster 🎢 of a journey eh!

fertilitystruggle profile image
fertilitystruggle in reply to RhinoCat

NHS is absolutely draining but I'm glad you were able to go private! NHS process took me 3 years to finally get to this stage which is crazy and required a lot of patience!

Don't worry you are nearly at the end now! I pray we have healthy babies soon 😘🤞🏼 xx

Mara84 profile image
Mara84

I had my fist IVF cycle back in November and I know how you feel... I felt the two weeks wait was the hardest part of IVF journey. I did the biggest mistake and tested early and this made it so hard to carry on with injections... so what ever you do, please wait and do not test early. I think spending time with love ones helped me and of course walking my dog was an excuse to get fresh air.

Hopefully soon you will give us a good news.

Sending lots of love xx

This two week wait has been the longest period of my life sadly!

Funny enough I made the same mistake as you did, I checked it on day 5 even though my husband told me it wont be a good idea. And god after I did that I became so negative and emotional reck. I have been avoiding my family since the treatment as I just needed some time to my self. I have been workin daily which really had helped but some days I just want to lock my self in my room and never leave lol!

If you don’t mind me asking was your IVF successful?

I hope I can give you all some good news very soon (fingers crossed)

Lots of love xx

<3

WonderworldXx profile image
WonderworldXx

Hi, i’m new here too! Just want to say well done for getting this far on your journey! My advice would be to focus on anything that supports your wellness, keep it basic and don’t overwhelm yourself. Take fresh walks, meditate (some brilliant apps out there Headspace, Calm etc), have a warm bath, read an interesting book, listen to audio books like the secret or the power. If you feel like crying then let it out, there’s no point in keeping it in, it’ll come out eventually anyway! Do whatever will make you happy and smile 😁. You’ve got this far you can keep going 💪🏼 you got this!

Unfortunately for me my first IVF cycle failed last year i’m just about to embark on my second attempt after my 19 eggs didn’t make it last time. After the state I got myself in last year i’ve promised myself looking after my wellbeing will be too priority this time around. Best of luck to you and hopefully I can follow my own advice 🤣 Xx

Bm12 profile image
Bm12

Hey, the tww is enough on it's own to drive you mad but I found getting out and doing as many 'normal' activities as poss helped take my mind off things. Best of luck with your FET and fingers crossed for a BFP XX

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