11dp5dt..... Nothing

[Jessy1280]

I know deep down (like last time) it's game over but I don't know how the hell to get through until January until I can go again. What if it fails a third time? OTD Sunday. I know I'll never give up on this dream but why does it have to be so God damn hard. Just feel utter deep sadness constantly. Feel like I'll never be happy until I fill this void. Still feeling like there is something underlying wrong with me yet doctors and the clinic dismiss this saying there isn't and it's just luck of the draw. I have a hard time accepting really good embryos are just duds. Every test I've had so far, the results have been awesome given that I'm nearly 39.

FSh 4.4

Amh 45.2

AFC 16

Respond well to mild meds, lining always spot on.

Normal shape uterus

No gynae problems

Normal regular cycles

I feel totally defective as a woman.

Feeling totally broken by this. Totally lost any zest for life. Feeling like I'll never ever get that bfp.

[Hidden]

Have you and your partner ever had a positive pregnancy together? If not from what I have read sometimes it can be that sperm and egg don’t match... even though it looks good but can change it’s we’re you have chromosomal issues... have you thought of using pgs?? Have you thought of embryo glue?? Have the docs not explained why it’s not working?? If not I would change clinics because if they are just saying luck of draw to me that’s not good enough. you may need a change of protocol... have they not discussed this??

[Jessy1280 in reply to Hidden]

Had a change of protocol and still failed. He had VR. We've never had a pregnancy together because of this. He has 2 children. I have zero. Despite his poor count and motility, I'm starting to feel like I'm the problem. I can't change clinics as Ive paid for 3 cycles. Embryo glue and embryoscope come as standard in my clinic. I even had Endo scratch this time X

[L2213]

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way lovely just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. You still have a few days to go until your OTD so you never know, I know it’s hard to stay positive if you feel deep down it hasn’t worked but try and hold out until then and you know for definite either way. Thinking of you xxxx

[CLDxxx]

So sorry darling.

Have you had your TSH levels checked also?

I’ve had two miscarriages with the same person and now doing this as a single mum with sperm donor. The EPU advised me to increase my folic acid to 5mg, I’m also 39 and suffer with high blood pressure. Might be something to try? I’m also taking aspirin to thin my blood.

I completely understand your frustration as although I have had BFP before as I have miscarried twice now I’m unsure if it’s the chromosomes or if there’s something else.

It’s awful not knowing & I really don’t think luck of the draw is good enough. Have you considered going for a consultation at another clinic?

I really hope you get some answers. Don’t give up. You must be kind to your self. Take this time to relax and enjoy life a bit. It is amazing what our bodies can do when we relax and are ourselves, it’s so important.

Sending you a hug ❤️

[Jessy1280 in reply to CLDxxx]

I suffer low blood pressure.

Never had tsh I don't think. What's that?

Scared of all these testsg eg pgs as we've already spent thousands on three cycles, meds etc. Money is now becoming an issue to find x

[CLDxxx in reply to Jessy1280]

Ah I see. You could still try the extra folic acid though? TSH is the thyroid stimulating hormone. It isn’t something the NHS take much notice of normally but with IVF and at clinics particular they require your level to be 2. It is a blood test and if it’s high you can have medication to bring it down, mine came down naturally as was really high and stress can have an affect.

I know, it soon adds up doesn’t it. Ive started to worry more as time goes on if I should have PGS testing done but firstly it’s another expense & also I read that some that are classed abnormal usually still implant and go on to have a normal pregnancy and birth so it’s a tricky one for sure.

I really feel for you and I’m glad you’re on here as you have so much support xxx

[Celloheggy]

Has your partner done a DNA frag test? It could be Semen quality?

TSH is normally tested as standard before the start of a cycle.

I’m sorry you’re not having a great time xxxx

[Jessy1280 in reply to Celloheggy]

Can there be a problem with semen even if we're getting good embryos? X

[Suzy86 in reply to Jessy1280]

My doctor seemed to think so. We got 5 top quality blasts on our first round. 2 didn’t stick so we paid for a more in depth analysis on my husband and found that he had high DNA frag and a hidden bacterial infection, so I think likelihood is our other 3 in the freezer are probably no good. I think it could be well worth getting these tests done just to rule anything in or out. I’m so glad we did.

[Celloheggy in reply to Jessy1280]

As far as I know yes. Look up examenlab.com/for-men/the-t... the comet test. The website also contains info about why you would want to get one done.

Good luck luv xx

[Libsie3103]

Hey I’m so sorry to read your story is such a tough journey and makes no sense at times. I’m about to have my 3rd FET after the 1st one failed and the 2nd one ended in a MMC. It’s hard to be positive all the time! I have heard of a clinic you can self refer to in Coventry that looks at implantation failure and whether your NK cells are an issue. I mentioned it to my clinic and they’ve just added steroids to this round incase it’s an issue. Maybe one to look into? Wishing you lots of luck xx

[Jessy1280 in reply to Libsie3103]

Thanks so much. Already thinking of ERA and nk cells. Think my clinic charge £495 and £895. Going to ask to see a different consultant too x

[Libsie3103 in reply to Jessy1280]

That’s cool that you can do it at your clinic. If you’re near Coventry it maybe worth looking into as she’s an expert in the field and is well respected, not sure if their tests are the same or not. Hope it goes well xx

[aamiller405]

So sorry.. Its certainly hard not to spiral into these thoughts ay times.. Its a cruel journey but we find a way to keep going.. I hope its your time soon xo

[Italy300618]

I'm sorry lovely 😔 one more day to go try and stay strong, it really still could all be different to how you think, will be thinking of you tomorrow 🤞🥰 xxx

[Fingerscrossed38]

I'm in a similar boat and had all of the usual tests come back normal, had 9 blastocysts 6 of which pgs normal on one and only round of IVF. Yet I had a chemical my first FET. I've had nearly every test and procedure to figure out why. I did discover a rarer blood clotting issue (pai-1) so I'll do clexane next FET. ERA also showed I should delay transfer by 12 hours. I'll try again end of the month altering these two finds.but if they fail I'll have to look at more unorthodox testing that is controversial. It is so hard to have to have your heat broken so often in this process and unfortunately it's a very expensive process. You'll have to bite the bullet and pay more for testing most likely. I would find another clinic if this one is not exploring why this is happening. You can still do your fet with your current clinic but use the new clinic's protocol...

[Lorita1984]

Im sorry dear. I completley know what you are feeling. I know its easier said than done but be strong xxxxx

[Cinderella5]

I'm so sorry Jessy! It is tough to have to keep putting yourself through this but we carry on as we have that goal of a much wanted baby. Doesnt seem fair does it! I hope things can change for OTD. Hugs.xx

[Dreamydoran]

Morning Jessy,

Don’t give up I’m 43 and finally got lucky.. and to be honest the time it worked I was completely felt like it had failed as everything had gone wrong to timings flight delays, hotel messed up to the point I decided to take a day trip as in my mind we were done!!

Even on day of bloods the nurse came through and I said it hadn’t worked... and it had..

I know it’s easy to say but try and be positive.. also take this time to get your body ready for next time, diet, stress exercise...

hope this helps xx

[Jessy1280 in reply to Dreamydoran]

Thank you. The waiting is the worst. If it were a case of transferring one a month I think I'd cope better. The prospect of waiting til January is the killer. I just feel so beaten. Its hard for everyone on here, I completely get that. I just find it hard as there's nothing wrong with me. Healthy bmi, regular cycles, no gynae problems. I just don't understand x

[recidwen]

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. How many transfers have you had so far? x

[Jessy1280 in reply to recidwen]

Only two transfers. 1 4ab the first time and 1 4ab the second time. I just don't understand why they don't stick when there's nothing wrong with me x

[recidwen in reply to Jessy1280]

Have you taken a pregnancy test? I view it like this, tivf odds are stacked against us no matter our medical history. It just doesn’t work more than it does. The stats show that is takes most people three tries. I also have ‘nothing’ wrong with me as my hydrosalpinx has been dealt with, yet I am about to go for my second collection and fourth transfer and my husband and I are 30. Unfair, infuriating and heartbreaking certainly. I feel for you xxx

[Jessy1280 in reply to recidwen]

It is hard. I'm scared because I'm 39 next month albeit with ovarian reserve of someone in their twenties. I literally think of nothing g else. 4 transfers is pretty hard going. Big hugs xx