Does anyone else feel isolated?

[Italy300618]

Hi there,

I am just reaching out for advice on how you deal with your friends that have children? I dont have a large group of friends but have a few very close friends. My friend gave birth last week, and she was the last of my friends , so now I am the only one. I was so very happy for her as she went through ivf and was very lucky to be successful first time, but when I found out I burst into tears, it hurt so much inside. It shocked me as I have always been supportive of my friends pregnancies even hosted baby showers and this was he first time I started to feel so alone, so hurt and so isolated.

But if you protect yourself and try and create some distance I literally will have nobody apart from my husband. No girly time that doesn't revolve around baby chat. I am so so nervous for our next round, If this fails I really dont think I am going to be able to cope being around my friends.

My best friend who has an 18 month old is due in February and I am petrified on how I will deal with it. With her first I was at the hospital every day and by her side. The thought of it now makes me cry. What do you all do to cope? Xxx

[Sayusayme]

Hi dear

Same here my frens only kept distance from me regarding there early pregnancy news and stuff.......and they will never call me unless they need help

so I decided to be with myself and my life

I am quiet happy now this way then to get hurt amongst them...it took time to cope up being lonely but now I am loving it....I have impress only myself no one else ..

Yes but I do talk wen they call me up only on topic they wanna discuss but I dare not ask anything about there pregnancy or kids unless they tell me....and I am getting use to it now....

All these will only change only if I have a kid but universe is not showing me any sign still I am four days post embryo transfer n still urine Prego test not positive....

I guess universe want me alone🙁🙁🙁

[Italy300618 in reply to Sayusayme]

It is very lonely isn't it. This is a great forum to find comfort. Thank you for your reply, I know this 2ww must be torture for you but keep going xx

[Hidden]

I am completely selfish - I only see who I want, I have made new friends through infertility groups and I have kept the friends that are sensitive and supportive.

I have distanced myself from friends who have just had children. If they are true friends, they will get it.

I have broadened my circle and hobbies. If I had to listen to baby talk in my precious spare time I would go insane. You have to protect your mental health.

❤️

[Italy300618 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply. Apart from on here, are there actually infertility groups where you can meet up with people?

My friends are supportive and really want it to work out for us, but when I come away from seeing them I tend to feel more low. So I guess you are right, distance is probably the best thing to do x

[Dreamydoran]

Hello,

Are you able to talk frankly with your friends on how you are feeling?

I was in a similar situation as all friends had children except me.. although I did find out who were real friends..

One of my friends on my Hen party called everyone into another room except about 4 people and told them all she was pregnant but not to tell me as I couldn’t have kids!!!

It ruined my hen and I was so upset that I made excuses and went home early and cried myself to sleep!

Be kind to yourself, this is such an incredibly emotional time for you and your partner, so if people don’t understand let it be there problem not yours.. do what’s right for you xx

[Italy300618]

Thank you for your reply. I can talk quite openly with them, but for example I couldn't tell my friend who I saw at the weekend how the announcement of my other friends birth last week affected me since she is also due in February, and she would feel like she couldn't tell me anything to do with it!

On your hen do? oh my gosh that is so awful, you poor poor thing! I am not surprised you went home early! November is going to be a tricky month so I think it would make me feel better if I distance myself from them, and like you say if they don't get it, then they aren't real friends xx

[Uffculmedolly]

Same here, I have found that I have completely retreated into my self following our first failed IVF cycle, I don’t want to have anything to do with friends, family members, colleagues. I feel very low and drained from this, 6 years of ttc, it takes such a toll on your mental well being

[Italy300618 in reply to Uffculmedolly]

Thank you for your reply. Sorry you are feeling like this, it's so incredibly hard isn't it. I sometimes feel like I'm losing who I used to be. I am trying to keep up with friends, I cant seem to shut them out, but it still doesn't stop the hurt especially when they dont know how to support me in my journey xx

[Uffculmedolly in reply to Italy300618]

Thanks for your message, it’s so very hard! I don’t think that I will ever be the same person, something in side of me has changed and I don’t know how to describe it.... xx

[Italy300618 in reply to Uffculmedolly]

I would say most of the ladies on here including me can totally relate to that feeling. Sending you a virtual hug!!

I hope wherever you are on your TTC journey, its going as well as well can be xx

[Hidden]

Hi Hun, I’m so sorry you feel this way as I know it’s an awful feeling- I’ve had it too and despite my effort to control it by prioritising me, it’s hard.

I agree with Anna- I’m completely selfish. I don’t HAVE to see my friends who just had a baby/have children. I don’t HAVE to share their happiness- or be happy for them.

Friends who know you, they’ll see you’re being distant and they will ask you why (if they don’t already know) and they will understand.

We are human- it’s absolutely normal to feel this way ❤️

I was thinking the other day how nice it would be to be able to physically meet with ladies I ‘met’ on here, I’d be totally up for it! I don’t know if it’s ‘allowed’ by this community’s rules?

Prioritise yourself hun ❤️❤️❤️❤️You are the most important thing 💋💋💋💋

[Italy300618 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Issylove, thanks for your reply. The post was from 4 months ago, I was just replying to someone who recently put a reply on, but I can definitely say I still feel the same, so your reply has come at a very good time!

We are going to meet my best friends new baby tomorrow (1 week old) my hubby tells me I dont need to do this, but I feel I have to, my treatment starts in a few weeks, and I feel like I want to get it out the way (so to speak) I am nervous about how I am going to be..perhaps it will be fine, who knows.

Then I will concentrate on me and our treatment, and will have to distance myself.

I know....you ladies are a true to support to me, I think a meet up would appeal to many people. I have no idea if its allowed, haha!

Hope youre ok, thanks again xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Italy300618]

Oh I didn’t even realise! 😂I was about to say ‘glad’ it’s been useful, but you know what I mean.

You’re very brave to go meet your best friends new baby, I’m sure that if your friend knows about your situation she all be even more appreciative, I would be ❤️❤️❤️

Good luck 🍀😉babies have a way to get to our hearts, whether they are ours or not ❤️Will be thinking of you! Xxx

[Italy300618 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you lovely 😘😘💗💗 xxx