Struggling a bit today..

[aamiller405]

So as some of you know I had an early loss a few weeks back.. And I've been doing pretty OK, went back to work on Thursday.. Didn't cry this week lol and just generally coping pretty well with getting back to routine.

But we have a wedding this Saturday.. And for some reason it's really getting under my skin. I had said I would drive to the wedding because obviosuly I thought I'd be pregnant so wouldn't be drinking.

And now I'm finding myself really not wanting to go at all.. I think it's because I had made plans for it based on being pregnant and so it's reminding me to much that I'm not pregnant anymore.

But I feel bad because my sister in law was depending on me giving her a lift and if we don't go she's not going basically. She said she's not that fussed but I can tell she is.

Am I just being silly? I don't understand why this of all things is the one thing I'm struggling with

[Noodleone]

You’re not being silly at all - we feel what we feel! You’ve been through a traumatic experience and if you don’t feel up to it I think it would be perfectly legitimate to say you’re not up for it. Take care of yourself x

[aamiller405 in reply to Noodleone]

Thank you.. Just hate letting people done I suppose xo

[Noodleone in reply to aamiller405]

I totally get that but sometimes you need to put yourself first - especially when you’ve been through a tough time x

[Rella22]

Aamiller, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. It’s perfectly normal and okay to change your mind considering the circumstances. Don’t do anything you’re not up to and take it easy. Take care of yourself. Sending you lots of love ❤️

[aamiller405 in reply to Rella22]

Thanks so much xo

[CLDxxx]

Hey lovely, sorry for your loss.

As the others say, you’re not being silly at all. I had a miscarriage a couple of years ago and hadn’t told many people so I still had to carry on and do all the plans I’d made or was asked to do. In hindsight, I should have just done what I wanted to do as I needed to grieve and I was also exhausted.

So do what’s right for you. Don’t feel bad on anyone else, it’s you going through this, not them and unfortunately no one truly understands unless they have been through it.

You need to look after you, but I will also say maybe the wedding will be a nice distraction? Either way, base your decision on you and only you 💕 take care xxx

[aamiller405 in reply to CLDxxx]

Thank you appreciate your advice and understanding .. I'll see how I feel later I suppose xo

[Kiers27]

Hey ... really not being silly. You have been through so much, and have done so well to be back at work, and trying to move on.

These things are still a struggle, it’s all very raw and sometimes decisions just have to be made..... for your own self preservation .. sure SIL will understand whatever you decide.

So sorry for your loss .. 😔

Most importantly .. be kind to yourself. Xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Kiers27]

Thank you xo

[Livinginhope2019]

You’re not being silly at all, do what you feel in your heart, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Look after yourself. Sending you big hugs xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Livinginhope2019]

Thank you xo

[Dreamingofbaby]

Hey Hun def not silly. These things take time to get through and find it is those events and lil reminders that can set off how feeling again and the impact on u. Really would be up to u what want to do and sure ur sis and law could make other arrangements to get there if was too much. Sometimes it can be better than u fear but only u can judge that. All can do is weigh it up and see what be best for u. Take care xxx

[Lavender96]

Hey, I totally agree with everybody else, you’re not being silly at all.

I also had a miscarriage recently and it’s a tough emotional rollercoaster. I thought I was coping really well and returned to work (which I now regret having not taken more time), then completely crumbled and couldn’t stop spontaneously bursting into tears. I was meant to be out with friends last weekend (also the designated driver) and I cancelled last minute, I’m so glad I did, work really took its toll on me and I just wasn’t emotionally ready to see them. I felt really guilty at first but it soon passed.

If you’re sister in law really wants to go she will make other arrangements.

You really need to focus on yourself right now and don’t put yourself in any situations where you will feel uncomfortable (many other people wouldn’t, so why should you). I’m now staring to put myself first and I’m slowly feeling better about everything. It takes time, so make that time about you, it’s not silly in the slightest 😊

I really hope you’re feeling better soon xx

ps sorry for the long post!!

[Lots8788]

Big hugs to you and definitely agree with others re youre not being silly at all and to put yourself first xx

[Elynn]

It's all very overwhelming and raw...large groups of people wouldn't be my number one choice ..its not you. It's a big deal.

Being DD may be a blessing, easier to keep the lid on emotions. Just make sure you've put a bottle in the fridge for when you get home. Hope u have an agreement u can leave early.

Hope it all goes well. 🌻

[bec90]

You definitely need to put yourself first!! I’m sorry your going through this hun 😘

[aamiller405]

Thanks everyone.. I decided I really didn't want to go.. OH said he was just as happy to stay home.. So bit the bullet and told SIL we weren't up for it.. She seemed pretty unfazed or at least acted that way for my sake.. Feeling a lot better now that I've properly cancelled instead of getting anxious about it xo

[Hidden]

No its not silly at all. If you can't face the wedding then don't go.

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks.. I didn't go in the end xo