Log in
Fertility Network UK
14,970 members24,781 posts

New and struggling

Hi All

My name is Bec and I have just joined this group today. I felt I had to do something I'm really struggling to cope with the pressures and emotional turmoil of trying to get pregnant. I am 2 years in and am currently going for lots of scans but don't really know what the cause is yet. The waiting around is really hard and I don't find out what's wrong for another 53 days.

I'm at an all time low at the moment because within the space of 3 days my best friend has announced she's pregnant with her second child and my sister in law is pregnant. I feel like an awful human being that I can't feel total happiness for them and put my troubles to one side. I'm dreading the next time I see them. Does anyone else go through these emotions or am I just a horrible person?

11 Replies

You're certainly not a horrible person, all of a sudden it feels like it's happening for everyone but you.

You feel like your all alone, I feel exactly the same...

I'm about to be referred to my consultant for the next step! This next step will be IVF. And like you I feel the people around me are only having to look at one another and boom, they're pregnant.

We deserve this Bec, we've worked hardest for it. Stay strong

1 like

Thanks it's so nice to hear! My husband doesn't seem to be struggling as much emotionally as me he doesn't understand why I'm getting so upset when others get pregnant.

I'm literally trying everything ive started reflexology too as apparently that helps!

Good luck with the IVF I hope it works for you 😀


You're not horrible. You're normal, as normal as anyone here.. and we're a pretty nice bunch 😊 Don't be so hard on yourself, we've all been there x

1 like

Hello Bec-A, I think you're the most normal person I've ever met. I remember when I was in the early test stage both my best friends fell pregnant. It was so hard. Even now, quite a way in to the process I have different reactions to seeing the same woman every Tuesday morning as part of my commute as she cradles her tiny baby in her arms. Some weeks it's excitement; some weeks it's anger; some weeks it's sadness and some weeks I don't even notice her.

You're at the start. It's acceptable to be confused, bewildered and worried. Please don't be too harsh on yourself: it might get a lot harder yet - just go with whatever emotions you want. Come here and vent and feel protected to do so xxx


Beca you are feeling all the feelings us girls on here 100% understand.

Life can be so unfair at times. Try not to look to far ahead with this process, easier said than done I know.

You need to just remember its a slow journey but you are going in the right direction.

Try not to consume yourself with it and whilst this website is great and full of wonderful people dont spent all your time on it or the net as it can get you down.

Wishing you all the very best with your journey xx

1 like

Welcome and so so glad you have found us all. You are so in the right place😀😀😀firstly your feelings are totally normal as you will see from all the posts in here and the best place to get advice and support from people who know exactly how you feel is on here. Infertility is the most awful emotional roller coaster. Please remember after every bad day eventfully comes a good day or something that makes you laugh, smile or feel grateful for so today's grateful thing is be grateful you found us..who are always here to help. Sending you loads of love and a huge hug xxxxx


Hi there lovely, welcome to the group. I'm pretty new myself and I can tell you that you won't find a lovelier bunch of caring and accepting ladies. I think its safe to say that all of us here have gone through those exact emotions and you are most certainly not a horrible person for feeling like that. My best friend has a gorgeous 15 month old and has mentioned having a second a few times and I am actually terrified of her telling me she is pregnant again. Sounds awful but we cant help these feelings when we so desperately want a baby of our own, and it doesn't mean we want anything less than the best for those we love. Its so hard isn't it! Anyway, feel free to rant on here whenever you like, we are all here for you! big hugs xxx


Hi, welcome to the group Making the decision to post your story today was definitely a good one! You will get so much support and advice here from women and men who are all going through the same things and have the same feelings and fears. Our journey to become parents is a difficult one but you are never ever alone as everyone here will support you through it all. I was in your position just over a year ago. I felt sick every time someone announced they were pregnant. It was almost like a part of me died with every announcement I heard. At one point I felt like I was surrounded by pregnant women! It was a horrible lonely feeling. Please don't ever feel like you are a horrible person. You are not!!

Well done for joining the group. You can vent as much as you like here and ask all the questions you ever need to ask as all of us have gone through or are going through the same thing.

Best of luck to you xx


Decided to join myself today. Realising that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Finding this site has shown me that there's so many people in the same position. Everyone I know now has children I'm happy they're happy but so sad inside too. I feel your hurt. It's a rollercoaster, but stay strong, research and push doctors for appointments and answers and try not to worry. xxx


U r not a horrible person!! It is normal that we feel the things we do! I had it with my sister in law announcing not long after my miscarriage-her child 2 now & we r still trying!! I'm just expecting any time now for her 2 announce another pregnancy! That'll kill me!

My 2 best friends announced pregnancies within 2 months of each other! That stung!!

I am happy for them but I do also have the thoughts of why do the deserve it more than me!?

It is really hard, there's no denying and the waiting for everything is tedious but at least u r doing something positive in that u r getting tests done, trying to find the cause.

Wishing u luck,strength and patience Hun xxx


So glad you've found this forum as I think I would have gone insane if I hadn't. Firstly your not a horrible person I think most of us have been in your position and can relate to how you feel, it can feel incredibly frustrating and unfair at times and when I feel like this I just try and take a break away from baby related ppl for a while and give myself some space, it's also helps to share on here and gets these things off your chest when you need to no body here will ever judge you what you have to say.

It's good that your having scan's and tests done so that the doctors can identify any underlying problems and then provide the right treatment plan for you xxxx

1 like

You may also like...