So we've decided on going for another 2 rounds of ivf and in process of the finance plan being processed to start in the new year. I was really excited about earlier in the week. Today I just want to cry and cry.
Maybe just a bit emotional as af arrived in the early hours of the morning on a 40 day cycle and never had a cycle this long before. Instantly I think it's my body recovering from failed ivf and dont even think about getting pregnant naturally will ever work. Maybe I just had that tiny glimmer of hope that just maybe it'd happened. Maybe desperation.I just feel sad. Probaly just hormones.
I have been messaging my friend too who is around 7 months pregnant and it just feels like she's bragging about it. She keeps banging on about how it was a "miracle" and that she nearly went for ivf. Hate to say it but I feel it's a plea for attention and if she really knew the true emotion that ivf brings, she wouldn't cope with it.
I see it on facebook every time I go on there or anyone with their kids. It just hurts so much. It may just be cos of the time if the year with Christmas coming up. Just makes it all real again.
Guess I'm just ranting and in an emotional mess tonight. But at least I can rant to people who "get it". As opposed to those that want attention from it. Just feeling very anti -any one who has kids kind of evening.