Struggling today: Sorry to rant but... - Fertility Network UK

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Struggling today


Sorry to rant but have no one else who understands the pain of being told by one of your best friends that they are pregnant, of course I'm happy for her but it's also a reminder of what I don't have and what I'm missing out on and not knowing if and when it will ever happen. I think about being pregnant everyday as I'm sure many of you do and my heart longs for a little baby to take seed and grow inside. I Just brust into tears when my friend messaged my and it's like I know its coming and I dread being told people's news - how awful to think this way. Anyway just had to get this off my chest? have a good cry so I can pick myself up and hope that my time is just around the corner. sometimes you just have those times when everyone around you is pregnant and excited (as you would be) and I just feel so excluded from this life and im having to prepend I'm all happy and excited. I know ill be okay again tomorrow what else can we do but pick ourselves up and try again xxx

13 Replies

Hi. I can totally sympathise with how you're feeling. We d just been put on the ivf waiting list when my sister and sister in law both announced they were pregnant within a few months of each other. Now I've got 2 lovely nieces who I adore but its really hard to take. Think you get a bit obsessed with it. I work in a primary school as a teacher and always dread when there's an announcement and they start passing the scan pictures around! ! Hope you feel better soon xx

Hidden in reply to katya38

Thanks it's just nice to come on here and realise that it's not just me who's trying to grin and bear the new announcements there are lots of us out there with same thoughts and worries xx

Completely understand, I feel like I am the only one amongst my family and friends without a baby, and that is pretty much true. Of course you are happy for people but it is also so hard when that is all you want for yourself. I am not telling people what we are going through apart from my best friend so I am having to lie and laugh off people saying 'you'll be next' etc. just such a hard thing to go through, some days easier than others

Hidden in reply to KB11

Thanks kb11 I've had my cry today so feeling better and calmer for it, thanks for the support hopefully it won't be long until it's us sharing our news xx

Completely understand. My friend tried for three months and told me how stressful she found it. She said she can't imagine how I feel 😟

I'm really happy for her. But I suppose it was just a bit dissappinting that I didn't find it that easy to get pregnant. Xx


I know how your feeling . At the time of my failed IVF last year I found out one of my close friends was pregnant. She is constantly posting about it on Facebook and Instagram pretty much every day. She knows what I've gone through and how long we've been trying and although I'm happy for her I think if it was situation reversed there's no way I'd be going on and on about it on Facebook if I was pregnant and one of my close friends was going through what I was, I'd feel like I was rubbing her face in it. People just don't understand how hard all this is emotionally and financially. s it's hard being strong. We would be having our babies nearly at the same time if my IVF had worked aswell 🙁 X

I know how you are feeling also. My 2 nest friends are pregnant and I have been avoiding them because I'm gutted. I'm scared I will burst out crying in front of them and make them feel awkward. I seem to have good and bad days.

We just need to remain positive. :)

I hope you're ok.

Nat xx

Hidden in reply to hellokitty33

Thanks nat helps to know im not the only one who worries about bursting into tears when another one falls pregnant xxx

hellokitty33 in reply to Hidden

I decided to deal with my issue head on and I met my pregnant friend for a catch up. It wasn't too bad. I think the more I see her the better it will get. I hope you are OK, feel free to get in touch xx

Hidden in reply to hellokitty33

Thank you, I've had a few better days I think it's very true that you have to take each day as it comes xx

I absolutely understand what you're going through. My best friend and her DH started trying for their second child shortly after my DH and I started the journey for our first. We fell pregnant after 5 months of trying, to our delight, but this was short lived and we miscarried at 6 weeks. I was devastated but hopeful that we'd be successful again. That was 19 months ago.

In the meantime my best friend fell pregnant two months after our loss and gave birth to her second gorgeous son last July. I struggle with my loss and lack of success every time I see her, but I have been open and honest with her about my feelings and my ICSI journey and this has allowed us to deal with it in the best way possible for me. She can't begin to understand how I feel but she has been very supportive - including when I have been snappy or upset by an unintended thoughtless comment. She also acknowledges how hard it must be for me and thanks me for sticking by her and not pushing her away. Surprisingly this actually helps a lot.

Despite this I still run home for a good cry after my visits sometimes.

The hurt and jealousy and frustration we feel is very natural and we won't escape it but we can try to manage it the best way we know how.

Best of luck on your journey and positive thoughts xx

Hidden in reply to SeniorPhipps

Sorry to read your story unfortunately it echoes my own as I had a mmc at 8 weeks earlier this year and I just keep thinking it should be my time now. Hoping our time will be here again very soon xxx

SeniorPhipps in reply to Hidden

That's why this forum is so great, so many great people that simply 'get it' when our nearest and dearest can't. Makes you realise you're not alone ❤️ xx

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