Struggling a bit

[Hands2015]

Heyyy so usually I'm the height of positivity but I'm really struggling to keep it up

I feel like everyone around me is pregnant and it's soooo easy for them and now my friend has told me she is pregnant supposed to be going to hers for dinner at the weekend but I just don't think I can face it I've sat on my bed and cried for an hour very dramatically and petty of me

I saw a baby elf costume in Sainsbury's and cried all the way to work

I need to loose weight before being considered for Ivf and it just takes soooooo long and even then no gaurentee and I just feel horrible at the thought of feeling horrible like this for years and years

Sorry if it came across a bit ranty just feeling a bit alone frustrated and upset tonight

[Positive2022]

Aww hun don't apologise and you're not alone. I know exactly how you're feeling. It seems every where I turn at the moment someone else is announcing their pregnancy or chatting about their 'little ones' and it's hard at times to stay positive. Sending you big hugs. Sometimes you do have to put yourself first and there is nothing wrong with not attending social outings if you don't feel like going. If you need a rant feel free to message me xxx

[Hands2015 in reply to Positive2022]

Ahhh thank you so much that was so good to hear I welled up a bit again x x

[Positive2022 in reply to Hands2015]

I've had so many moments of welling up now I've lost count. The roller coaster of emotions is indescribable. It's good to let out some of those emotions instead of keeping them bottled up. I always feel better after a good cry!! Xxx

[louisear]

be safe in the knowledge you're not alone and your feelings are normal. The important thing is to give in to them and scream and cry when you want to. I've lost 4 babies so I've had my share of doing just that. Take time for you, do what you feel is right when you want to do it. If ever there's a time to be selfish this is it. Take care of you xx

[NDE1987]

Hun please don't apologize as we are all in the same boat on here! Today a close work colleague told me she is pregnant, so now that's two of my close work friends that are pregnant!!! It's not a nice feeling. I had to be happy for her but inside I was hurting so much thinking why can't it be me

It's good to cry and let it out but don't get too down Hun. Your not alone xxx

[E_05]

I can totally relate to your post and never apologise for a rant here. This journey is so cruel and it feels like another kick in the teeth when all you see is pregnant women. If you don’t feel like you can go then don’t, we all need to put ourselves first at times xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Crying can be good for you. And I would say maybe don’t go for dinner- have a stomach bug instead! I went for drinks for my friends’ 40th last night. Hubbie and I were the only couple who aren’t parents. They all talked about their kids most of the night and also informed us about another friend’s pregnancy (someone who doesn’t live locally any more so we didn’t yet know). One friend obviously noticed I was looking a little sad as they discussed arrangements for seeing each other again tomorrow for her daughter’s 3rd birthday and invited me to the tea party too... I politely declined feeling grateful that I had something else on and went home and cried. I’ve felt rubbish most of the day since but an acupuncture session and a cuppa with some former colleagues has set me right. It’s a roller coaster and some days you just feel down. The ok days so come round again though. You’re not alone: we are all struggling with the same emotions and will help you through x

[Ketajean]

Be selfish and don't feel guilty its okay to feel the way you do. I told my friends i couldnt see them because it was too hard and i was lucky they understood. One of them just had her lil one and to my suprise ive worked out its people being pregnant and me not that effects me more than new borns. My other best friend told me a few weeks ago she's pregnant with her second and i haven't seen her since. I'm so lucky she is understanding. Hopefully your friends will be too. Take care xxxx

[Bella_12]

I often feel very similar, in fact (and it’s quite sad to think about this) but in my long 4 year TTC journey I have changed as a person, I no longer want to spend time with people who I know arnt real friends, people who have different lifestyles to me and people who don’t genuinely care about me. I have s few friends and their the only ones who know what I’ve gone through. I have become withdrawn from people and going to social events I dread because the ‘so when are you having a baby’ question comes up and I just don’t want to hear it or face it! So many people around me are pregnant and when I hear another announcement I feel a lump in my throat and complete jealousy and I hate feeling like that ☹️ your not alone there are many of us going through the same as you, hence why I joined this group to be able to talk to people going through the same x

[Hidden in reply to Bella_12]

that's the thing you don't plan to feel jealous in malice it just sneaks up on you!

[jhb_c in reply to Bella_12]

I sat down all my colleagues (a whole primary school no less) burst into tears and told them my whole story because I just couldn't face the "It'll be you next Mrs C" and "How's it going ttc" any more. Their support has been more than I could have imagined though, everyday someone offers me help because they know I'm nowhere near as productive as I normally am! I've been given extra time out of class to get the never ending list done, colleagues have stayed in while I teach, I've been given the option to literally walk out if it gets too much.im so lucky to work in such a supportive environment, but taking that step and speaking out changes everything. Once we start treatment I plan on telling all of my friends...we haven't yet because there's not always S good time for the "hey we can't have children" chat....but I will tell them. They'll either understand,sympathise and support or they won't (and screw them if they don't!) who knows someone might be experiencing the exact same thing!

stay strong x

[Hidden]

no its not petty to feel like that and if you feel that all going to your friends for dinner will do is upset you then do not go. Make up food poisoning as she wont want you there with that if you cant face going.

it bloody sucks when it seems easy for others but not for you and its so damned unfair!

[Tranters]

Not ranty at all! I have posted very similar. We are in the same boat and all my friends are pregnant or have got kids. We have just come away for the weekend as my husband could see it was getting to me! It’s the best thing we could have done we’ve had a fab weekend and realised that kids would be a bonus but we are happy right now! Cuddles xx

[Bella_12 in reply to Tranters]

Sometimes it really does get to me, then I get unreasonable ana moody about other things as I’m frustrated abs upset. I do have it in my mind that having a child would be nice and that what meant to be will be, I just can’t help feeling bitter when you have people who really don’t deserve them yet it happens for them easily, and people who don’t consider how hard it can be and will always ask that dreaded question, when are you going to have s baby. I have to say I never ask anyone that especially since my struggles, you just never know what people have or are going through ☹️x

[jhb_c]

you are NOT alone, this is every single one of us! Firstly, that pressure for your body to be a temple, it feels like you are the last hope to carry a baby into this world for you and your partner....we totally get that! Secondly, the more you want something the more you see it (works in the dieting world and ttc world!) since trying I've had two friends fall pregnant while using contraceptives no less! It's the most frustrating and hardest thing (especially if they don't know your situation) to smile, say congratulations and be happy for them!

I'm sure there are plenty of us here who have cancelled social events because it's been too much!

you are NOT alone 😘

x