After last week I though I couldnt feel any worse and then today happened.
Firstly apologies because I know this is going to be a long ranting post.
Last Wednesday we had our viability scan which showed an empty sac. Nurse said it could be slow growing but wanted to take bloods and not to get our hopes up but to keep taking the tablets and come back on Friday for another blood test. We accepted at this point that we had had a miscarriage.
Nurse phoned the following day and said hcg was very high and they would expect to see something. They had referred me to our local hospital for an appointment at the EPU. I asked if i needed to keep taking tablets, she asked consultant who said no, to stop taking everything, which i did.
We had our appointment today. The sonographer explained she couldnt see a baby and that the sac appeared abnormal. She showed the scan and where the sac had been like a balloon last week it appeared more a cluster of bubbles today. She explained there was fluid inside each bubble and that this is very unusual and abnormal and that i would need to speak to the doctor to get answers.
It confirmed what we already knew - no baby.
We met with the doctor who asked us to explain what we had done this cycle. He then said the scan was very difficult to interpret due to it being abnormal to what they would expect to see at any point. He also explain that due to this and the fact that the clinic hadnt sent the scan pictures and bloods from last week it was difficult to give any answers as he couldnt compare todays to anything - i am furious with the clinic.
He went on to apologies for this ( not his fault) and said that there are 3 possibilities - ectopic, early pregnancy or miscarriage but he couldnt say either way. I asked if he could work out how far along we would be. He said that if the embryo implanted late in the 2 weeks that we could be around 5 weeks pregnant which made me even more furious because if we could be this early the clinic wouldnt have seen anything last week yet still told me to stop taking everything - so could this have affected things?
After lots of apologiesing for not being able to give me answers and havinf bloods taken we left. He phoned us at 4 to tell us our hcg was high - 9000 - but that this doesnt really tell them anything because they have nothing to compare it to. We are back in next week for another scan. Also told us any bleeding or pain to go straight to hospital.
I am just so angry and confussed. We just want a straight answer from someone. Im angry at the clinic for not sending the scans and treating us like they have. They have made us feel like because we didnt have a viable pregnancy at the first scan that they didnt want anything more to do with us and just put us on to another hospital.
We have accepted theres no baby but have no answers to what has happened or what is going on. I am also now worried that there maybe something else wrong to have this abnormal scan.
Sorry to have a huge rant on here. I just feel like theres no one else to talk to.
We were so naive starting this journey and I know it is only our first transfer. There are just so many things happening that we were not even aware were possible.
Thank you for all of your support and advice. It really does make a huge difference to know i have somewhere to talk to other people about this.
Upset over pregnancy announcement 
So angry! 😠
So upset 
Heartbroken and angry.
Upset with LM
