Focusing on real life mid cycle

Hi All

I am interested in how everyone focused on ‘real life’ mid cycle. I should know as I am on cycle three but each one seems to get more important especially after our MC earlier this year. I had a day three ET yesterday and am still really sore from EC and generally feeling very sorry for myself but also not interested in anything else apart from this cycle.

I’ve trundled into work (2 hour commute) and now have an all day meeting where I have already had a rollicking about not showing enough enthusiasm and contributing enough

To be honest I am sitting here thinking a) I don’t care about any of this and b) feeling sorry for myself and wanting to scream none of this is important you don’t know what I am going through!! (No one at work knows about ivf) I’m in pain! I feel like crying! Pathetic!

I am not sure how I can carry on like this for the coming weeks? Nothing is more important than this cycle and yet work expects my all, all day every day. I am in quite a high pressure job so I can’t just cruise

Any tips? I am literally going bonkers sat in this meeting and it’s only day one! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Thanks so much xx

[ShadowRed]

Hi Daisy1245,

Sorry to intrude as I do not have any tips or advise to offer. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone... this cycle there has been way too many moments too close of almost walking out workplace.

Hope you find a strategy that works for you...

Best of luck with this cycle xx

[Hidden in reply to ShadowRed]

Oh god so sorry to hear you are going through it too, how are you doing? x

[ShadowRed in reply to Hidden]

Not great to be honest, roller coaster of emotions and just seem unable to be positive about this. 4 days post FET and overanalysing every thing to the point of thinking “come on start the bleeding already so I can give up” 😔

Have been trying to keep myself busy with friends who have been nothing but supportive. Also it has helped that I haven’t been back to work yet - let’s see how it goes tomorrow when I do...

How about you? Any news about your blastocysts? (Was actually just reading your other post following your EC) So you have a date for transfer?

X

[Hidden in reply to ShadowRed]

OMG I could have written the first paragraph - I am so sorry you feel like this but great you have supportive friends. I haven’t told anyone!

I am day 1 post 3 day fresh transfer. I had a messy Mc in jan after round 2 at 9 weeks so even before I started this round I felt like it had failed and I might as well give up, then we didn’t get to blasto so gave up a bit more! I jay want to run away from everything but can’t bear the thought of it not working or giving up either 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sending you a huge hug xx

[EmGLA]

Hello

I'm not in your position, I'm currently mid-stims in my first IVF round. I get quite a lot of intrusive thoughts and I struggle with anxiety and have had panic attacks in the past. I've been using the mindful IVF app when I feel myself teetering. I can only imagine when you've been through the trauma you have how much the insensitivity (even if it is in ignorance) hurts. I've also been going for walks at lunchtime, I only get half an hour but being away from work colleagues really helps.

I hope you're ok! Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts!!

xxx

[MissSaoPaulo]

No words of wisdom really, just sending good wishes and hugs xxx

[ShadowRed]

I’m keeping everything crossed for you Daisy1245! Hope this time it will be your story of success and happiness

Big hug xxxx

[crisps88]

Lots of hugs to you. I can’t resonate with the job situation, mines totally different and I’m taking 2 weeks off again. It’s not good enough to say oh ivf is more important and nothing is as critical, as in reality of course work always comes second but without work there is no money for ivf. My sympathies to you in this hard situation you find yourself in, we deserve so much sympathy and understand without having to tell people our whole business ! Good luck. I am so crossing everything I have for you cccc

[Daisy08]

Hi

I totally understand how you feel. I found it hard to focus after FET but told my manager when I started IVF who has been really understanding. Especially after it didn't work and I was even less focused. It might help if there is someone you can confide in. I have only told my manager but it helps to know there is one person who has some understanding of what's going on with me. It sounds like you're being really hard on yourself, this is such a tough process and it's normal for your emotions to be all over the place. Hang in there and best of luck for a positive result. X

[crisps88]

How’s it going Hidden ? How’s work? When is your official test date? Hope work situation has improved for you. 🤞🤞🤞 xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to crisps88]

ive been working from home for a few days so its been a bit easier. Am rather doom and gloom today .. 7dp3dt and BFN and bad period pains so I think I am out. I had a BFP by this time last time. lost all mojo and just want to cry! Hope you are feeling sane xx

[HopeTTC18 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Daisy, just wanted to say you’re only the equivalent of 5dp5dt so it’s still a little early. You may still get your BFP. HCG levels vary in every cycle. Please don’t lose hope yet x

[crisps88 in reply to Hidden]

Oh love 😓😓😓 im so sorry you’re feeling disappointed and this results bas knocked the wind out of your sails. It isn’t only early doors but it is so crushing when you see that it really is. I have got everything crossed for a delayed positive result I really have. You must be feeling gutted X x x

[Hidden in reply to crisps88]

Thanks both! I am soooo annoyed with myself for testing, I don't know why I did it, burnt £8 of a frer there and then!!! off to do some more mindfulness and try and get my PMA back on! Hope you are both ok xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh Daisy, yes I am so sorry you feel like this! Keeping everything crossed that you will get the BFP XXX

[crisps88 in reply to Hidden]

Don’t feel you need or have to be positive, you can be unproductive be lazy be selfish be sad. It helped me a lot just easing up on myself. I am literally one of the most positive people ever and I just sometimes am losing it after out 1st cycle and this one. I just lost my sparkle a bit and it dulls a little with each piece of negative news throughout the cycle. Give yourself time to just try to come to terms with it and don’t beat yourself up it’s too hard on your already. X X x x x x

[Lots8788]

Hi Daisy x know exactly what you mean and you're not alone. Hopefully the test is too early and you get your bfp x big hugs x

[Hidden]

Hi Daisy, I can totally relate to you, it’s like “ normal life” isn’t really normal life as our normal life is one with children we hope and everything else pales into insignificance and just feels like an effort and not important even though we know it is as a it helps pay the bills and for ivf and does keep our minds of ivf at times normally when we are waiting for another cycle to start or having a break. My work has been awful as my manager is rubbish anyway he doesn’t Know how to look after his staff and I felt I needed to prioritise ivf over work so I was signed off by hospital felt bad to begin with but then though no this is important. I have a new job starting in sept which hopefully I will be happier in. I totally get the anger essentially that no one knows what I am going through I haven’t really told many people at work so all I would say is they prob would be more understanding if they knew, I told 1 person and it did help still was upset and emotionally at times which I found hard to deal with but felt they could understand at least y I was upset. Can you get some time off? My work was high pressured hence why the hosp signed me off and I also took 2 weeks off between ec and et so I could feel more relaxed. So sorry to hear about your mc that must have been really hard but give yourself credit for carrying on and actually getting up and going to work each day not easy to do in the circumstances you are stronger than you think. all I would say is keep the Hope you managed to be successful before and I am sure you will again it just might take some time. Consider having some time off though if you can, Remember you have all of us on here to vent too take care xx 😘

[Hidden]

You definitely are not alone! I have become unable to really focus on anything else! My bfp has almost made it worse!! Good luck with trying to carry on with normal life! If you find the answer can you let me know!! Good luck!