What to do next? Failed IVF cycle.

[Mara84]

Hi everyone, unfortunately our first IVF cycle failed. I had a difficult week but I know I am not alone and many couples are going through the same thing. I'm already thinking of second cycle however I know its too soon.

I have an appointment on Tuesday to review the first cycle and I wanted to know in your experience is there any important questions that I should ask?

We have no frozen embryos unfortunately. so we have to start a fresh cycle. Basically we have 8 matured eggs and 6 got fertilised and they were all doing good at day three, but on the day of transfer the embryologist told us only one has become Blastocyst and to be honest since then I know we will not going to get pregnant.

I am 35 years old, and till now I never thought the quality of egg could be our problem but as our IVF failed I am thinking what else could have gone wrong...

I appreciate any advise or suggestions ❤️

thank you all.

[Coral86]

Sorry it failed I know how u feel I’m on my second go did have eggs left but don’t give up I was told I had a really good embryo the top grade but still didn’t work treat this as a practice run it is disheartening I know I’m dreading the tww again hope ur ok I didn’t really have any questions coz it was as black and white really with me coz of my heart shaped womb but there try something diff next time I just wanted to go again straight away which I’m doing xxx

[Mara84 in reply to Coral86]

Best of luck ❤️ I do hope this time its the time. I feel I need to go back to it, its so hard to wait... I am still on my diet and off caffeine. I do hope your two weeks goes smoothly. Xx

[Zebedee1971]

Hi,

My first cycle was a disaster- we had a day three transfer but with average quality embryos. Obviously it's disappointing and honestly I cried so much afterwards. But I threw myself into work, went out loads, drank cocktails (because for 9 months this won't be possible!) And generally just forgot about the IVF. I dreaded the second round coming around, I tried putting it off because I couldn't face the upset again. Even the mention of it made me angry, I was so dreading going through it again.

Our second cycle was so much better- better clinic (NHS this time), an amazing doctor, the transfer was so much more relaxed and I was so easy going about the whole thing. Just kept telling myself to go with the flow, don't think too much about it... We ended up with two good embryos for transfer on day 5. Apart from a few wobbles, mostly the 2ww, this second round has been so much better, by miles.

My advice is to do whatever makes you happy for the next couple of months, don't think about it, then when it's time just treat it like a routine thing. As for questions, I don't think there are any. The clinic will have a good idea of where to go next and if you trust them, trust that they'll get you there in the end. When we met our doctor, he said he'd get us a baby, might take 1,2 or 3 attempts but it will happen . I 100% believe him, i think the trick is to have faith in your doctor. I didn't have this relationship with my first doctor and, like you, knew the transfer had failed as soon as they were put in.

Good luck with your next cycle, just remember there is an egg in there that will become your future child, they're just waiting for their time x

[Mara84 in reply to Zebedee1971]

Thanks you so much for sharing your experience and writing to me. Means a lot to me ❤️

I wish I could stop thinking about it for a day but we start our first cycle after a miscarriage at 12 weeks and I think I didn't deal with, I just through myself in IVF with the hope that it would work the first time for us....

I will try to relax more and give myself a bit of time...

are you expecting at the moment? I do hope you are well and happy. Xx

[Zebedee1971 in reply to Mara84]

Hi,

We have our official test tomorrow, but I did a home test yesterday and it was positive. So we're feeling super surprised as we really convinced ourselves it wouldn't happen. I had two miscarriages early last year, in quick succession, and this is the first positive test result we've had for 18 months! I honestly thought I'd never see that little pink line ever again! So it can happen, I just tell myself the embryo that sticks is the little person that was supposed to come into this world, and when they are here, it's because they were meant to be here rather than all the others.

I think IVF is the toughest thing anyone can ever go through, it'll never be easy, you just need to tough it out, cry when you need to, it will be harder sometimes compared to others, but ultimately it should be worth it, fingers crossed. Good luck xx

[Caitlin-m in reply to Zebedee1971]

I needed to read this message tonight; thank you for posting it x

[Mara84 in reply to Zebedee1971]

Very happy for you, hope it’s all going well for you xx

[Zebedee1971 in reply to Mara84]

Ahh yes, we had another chemical pregnancy, so it will be our third IVF cycle in march... Still hopeful the next one will be the one that's meant to be. Hope your journeys are going well x

[Mara84 in reply to Zebedee1971]

Sorry dear, well I keep my finger crossed for you, March would be great as pregnancy rate in spring is higher than any other time. I’m hoping to start our second round in February but I’ll know more after my appointment on 27th January. Keep us updated xx

[sadievalentie]

Hi Mara! How are you? I hope you are doing well. I am sorry for your failed cycle. So that is something most people don't know that quality matters more than quantity. No matter how much eggs you get, if they are poor quality they are of no use. I am glad that this failure is not something that made you weak. You are a strong lady and if you stay like this, this journey won't be able to break you. I hope things go well for you next time. Please share with us what problem you faced during first cycle. Good luck! Stay blessed. Take care. Bye!

[Mara84 in reply to sadievalentie]

Hi dear, thank you for replying to my post. Failed IVF cycle was one of the hardest thing I had faced in my life... anyhow I can’t change what has happened..

To be honest I haven’t been told that our problems was my egg quality, I’m aware that’s it’s a possibility and in many cases most likely but I’m also thinking it could have been my husband, it was a very stressful time for him and work life was hectic, also his morphology is only %4.

I had a phone conversation with specialist but not a face to face appointment yet, I’ll see her end of January and we will arrange for the second round.

I’m still trying to stay on my diet as much as possible although I had a few glasses wine this week... been taking Ubiquinol.

I’ll share more information after my appointment.

Thanks again and hope you ass doing ok. Xx

[LorrieWalden]

Hi Mara! How are you? I am sorry that your first IVF cycle failed. But you are a strong woman, that is not stopping you from trying again. So the amount of your eggs is great, but the main thing that matters is the quality. If the quality is good then even short amount of eggs can make it happen for you. You need to ask the doctor that what to do and how to improve. I hope things go well for you next time. Please update us on your journey. Everything will be fine, don't worry. Good luck! Stay blessed. Take care. Bye!

[Mara84 in reply to LorrieWalden]

Hi dear, thanks so much for writing to me, I’ll see the doctor on 27th January and I’ll share my experience with all of you.

I’m concerned about the egg quality but I keep telling myself I’m 35 there should be some good ones left.

We started my husband on fertility vitamins also as his morphology is only %4.

Hope you are enjoying this festive season. Thanks again.

[Alyssa123]

Hi Mara! I hope you are feeling better now. Your post will help so much people realize that why doctors say quality matters more than quantity. The amount of eggs you produced is great, but because of the poor quality you were not able to make it work. That is something to keep in mind. Even if you are producing many eggs but quality is not good, then you should change your way of treatment. Maybe then donor eggs is the way out for you. It doesn't matter if it works with your eggs or donor's eggs. The main thing that matters is how to make it work. I hope this helps you. Good luck. Take care. Stay blessed. Bye!

[Mara84 in reply to Alyssa123]

Hi Alyssa, hope you are ok. I saw your message last night and I couldn’t sleep till morning, I know that when you get a failed cycle it could be egg quality and there in no test to prove that collected eggs are quality but I felt telling me I might need Egg Donner after only one failed cycle is a bit insensitive. I am sure you meant well but it made me really upset.

I haven’t seen my doctor yet but had a phone conversation with her and actually she thought we need to improve my husband sperms, he is on the border with his morphology.

At the end of the day I know we have problem that’s why we are where we are.

I hope your journey and experience is pleasant and you will share your success story one day.

[Grazangelique]

Hi Mara, I am very sorry that your cycle did not work. But there are so many reasons why an embryo would not stick and the quality of the eggs is merely one of them. Luck is another Do not worry about the quality unless someone (that is a doctor!) tells you you should. Be kind to yourself, build up your strength up and go for it again until you get there! 💪 You are still very young and have all the time to build your wonderful family! x

[Mara84 in reply to Grazangelique]

Hi dear, thanks so much for writing to me and being so positive! I’ll see the doctor on 27th January and I’ll write an update. I’m trying to stay on my diet and away from caffeine and alcohol and hope for the best.

Thanks again xx

[Bunny34]

It's a bloody horrible feeling isn't it and I am in exactly the same boat. We had a day five transfer of one blastocyst-that was doing some funny stuff and one that was one day off being a blastocyst. None were suitable for freezing!

Dont know abouy you but throughout the 2ww I felt pregnant- sounds crazy but achy boobs swollen belly all 'felt good'. Only to test and have a BFN... the clinic told me to wait to the new year to book a follow up apt but I'm so scared and don't know what to expect.

Realistically I only have one attempt left as can't afford private.

It would be good to hear how you get on, it's reassuring to know we are going through the same thing.

Good luck xx

[Mara84 in reply to Bunny34]

It is horrible dear, I founded the whole process very difficult, I was very cautious of what to eat and what to avoid and of course took all the medications and injections on time but it didn’t work out for us. To be honest the only reason we agreed to transfer our only blastocyst was because I didn’t want to regret anything later on, otherwise when the embryologist told us that the embryos are not doing great at day 5 , I know it’s not going to work.

The funny thing is they were doing good at day 3! So I’m really confused where did it go wrong, also I had a phone conversation with the doctor dealing with our IVF and she asked my to start my husband on fertility vitamins and she didn’t mentioned anything about the quality of my eggs... anyhow she will see me on 27th and I’ll share everything in details with you.

We will start our second round after that appointment too. Hopefully this time we will get result xx

[zital]

Hi, how are you doing? Unfortunately, many people are faced with such a problem ... I am very sorry that your first cycle failed. Yes, if the eggs are of poor quality, then they are useless. Do not give up, fight for your dream! I believe your second cycle will be successful! I hope you are not alone? Do you have any support?

[Mara84 in reply to zital]

Hi there, thanks so much for writing to me, I hope the second round is the last time I have to go through this process.. I really don’t know yet what went wrong... I’m waiting for a review and as soon as I have more answers I will share with you.

I’m lonely, I feel no one really get it, only the ones who’ve been through the same thing could truly understand it.

I hope you are doing well.

Thanks again xx