Our journey so far

[HJP94]

I’ve contemplated opening up about my struggles with infertility for a while now, but never been brave enough to do it. I’m still not ready to open up to family/friends but this is the first step for me!

I came off the pill at the end of 2017, I can’t remember exactly when, but I think around October. When I first came off the pill, we weren’t ‘trying’ as such, more just not trying to prevent it. In October 2018 I then fell pregnant for the first time. We were so happy for what our future was about to hold. In then came to an end when I miscarried at 7 weeks.

Since December 2018, we have been trying every month. Testing for ovulation, getting positive ovulation tests and having perfectly timed sex each month. Now 7 months later we are still trying with no luck.

In April I decided to get help from a fertility doctor. She was great and referred me straight away to get tests. Tests were arranged so quickly as I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in 2011. So far I have had blood tests to check ovulation, ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries, blood test for AMH all of which have come back normal - no reason to explain why we aren’t getting pregnant.

I have now been referred for a HSG test to check if my tubes are blocked. Just waiting each day to get the appointment through to hopefully get some answers!

Each month just gets harder and harder, disappointment after disappointment. A friend at work recently announced his wife was pregnant again, for the 4th time, and yet I’m left with nothing. It just seems so unfair.

I am going through a dark patch, and it really is starting to impact on my mental health. I know I’ve probably still got a long road ahead, I just need to find a way to cope with everything before it breaks me completely.

A friend recently reminded me that “your current situation is not your final destination”. I am trying to stay positive and prepare for what is yet to come.

[Sunshine92]

Thats a lovely way to describe it, ‘your current situation is not your final destination’ i feel like we could all do with this on repeat in our heads.

You’re not alone sweet and its good to tell your story, its not something you want to go around telling people who you see every day.

As awful as the miscarriage was see it as a positive that you can fall pregnant. Take each step a little at a time. Wishing you lots of love xx

[CLDxxx]

Hey, oh I love that saying! Going to remember that.

Just wanted to give you some hope. My friend and her boyfriend had also been not preventing pregnancy for years following a miscarriage. They eventually went for tests and had unexplained fertility issues. They decided to try IUI which wasn’t successful so she then had her tubes unblocked and fell pregnant the following month 💕

Sorry you are feeling low. It is so difficult and it’s great you have taken this step to share, I’m sure you will have good support around you so when you feel ready do speak to a friend or family member but in the meantime you will have all the support and answers you need here xxx

[HJP94 in reply to CLDxxx]

Thank you for sharing that story - it gives me hope, it’ll be my turn one day! X

[CLDxxx in reply to HJP94]

It definitely will ❤️

[Bluelady-sing]

You will have a baby I firmly believe it I've got to as it's everything I can hope for.

I wanted to ask whether I could or not I hope you don't get upset ? the AMH level where did you have them done to GP? Fertility clinic if so how much have you paid so far? my GP won't do a damn thing for me?

I don't think he's making any more effort he was supposed to contact me and let me know whether he could approve the cost code. I didn't hear a dicky bird

[HJP94 in reply to Bluelady-sing]

So sorry that your GP is not being helpful! I had mine done at the doctors. I had a review appointment after my ultrasound and my doctors booked my blood test for the next day, so thankfully she’s helpful. She does specialise in fertility tho.

Have you seen if you can change doctors or ask to see someone else that will help? Cost wasn’t even mentioned to me, I am in West Sussex - I’m not sure if area makes a difference.

[Skippy1982]

So sorry for your miscarriage. It’s heartbreaking 😞. Has your partner given a sperm sample and had it tested?xxx

[HJP94 in reply to Skippy1982]

Sorry, I should have said. Yes he has a sperm test, all same back normal.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry for your miscarriage.

Also I notice you have endometriosis so do I & I also notice it’s been a longtime since your last laparoscopy. As an endo sufferer I’m sure you know endometriosis can & often do re grow- despite what some medics say there is no “cure” for endometriosis. I would advise you to have a lap & dye- the specialist can look & treat any endometriosis & check if your tubes are clear.

I will now tell you my story I’ll try to keep it brief! I was trying for 5 years & 10 months till my endometriosis was diagnosed & treated during a lap & dye in June 2017- it grew pouch of Douglas & rectum. I conceived the first cycle naturally but lost the pregnancy at 4.5 weeks. My endometriosis had regrown & I had my second laparoscopy with a hysteroscopy in March 2018 -it was back but worse again on pouch of Douglas & rectum, got referred to a endo specialist by fertility specialist & had my third laparoscopy in July 2018 this time my endometriosis was all over my pouch of Douglas, uteroscaral ligaments & rectum first time all endo cleared ( other gynae s couldn’t touch endo on bowel) & I conceived 2 months later & had my baby girl just over 5 weeks ago. This is after a 7 year struggle to conceive! For me endometriosis was the only cause of infertility everything about us was normal! I’m 37 so not young!

Its awful seeing others falling so easily & pregnancy announcements are very painful we watched every family member friend have baby/ies & wondered if we would ever have a baby at times it felt unlikely but miracles can happen!

I hope you find this site supportive & helpful it helped me through some dark times at least we understand the struggle xoxo

[HJP94 in reply to Hidden]

I had surgery in 2011, for what they thought was appendicitis’s, but then found the endo. I haven’t had any symptoms or problems with it since. I know it can grow back but so far not symptoms to suggest it has. I think once I have had my HSG, if it shows my tubes are blocked it’s something I will ask about.

I am so sorry to hear of your painful journey with endo and trying to convince. But congratulations, I’m sure it was all worth it in the end!

[Lind16]

Stay strong and take 1 day at a time , it is so difficult with not knowing, i suffer from endometriosis and have had 2 rounds of ivf but im still hopeful. Make sure you and your partner keep talking and work as a team as ivf can do weird things to your relationship. Stay strong and use the forum when your feeling low xx

[HJP94 in reply to Lind16]

Thank you for your support. So sorry to hear your IVF hasn’t worked yet, praying it works for you soon. I am only at the start of this horrible journey and I can’t imagine how much harder it’s going to get yet xx

[crisps88]

I’m sorry your loss, it is one of the darkest and most saddest times you will ever experience.

It is so hard wanting what others have and it seems so unfair, I agree every month gets harder and harder. It’s so easy to flip from negative to positive as well.

At least you have an outlet on here and it is really cathartic and great to hear and share experiences and stories , the support is overwhelming and just what everyone needs.

I hope you get some help In your answers. Lots of luck and we are always here xx